164. Gedankenexperiment

Gedankenexperiment: (guh-DAHNG-kuhn-ik-SPER-uh-muhnt) noun: A thought experiment, an experiment carried out in imagination only.

I'm in San Diego right now. (Business trip for my day-job.)

One awesome thing about traveling is coming into contact with people who have VEEEEERY different lives than you. Their "normal" is sooooooo different from your "normal," yet both are completely REAL and TRUE for each of you.

I especially love flying over the country and looking down at the tiny houses and cars and imagining the many lives being lived and many different perspectives that those people have on our world.

Environment has soooooo much influence on us...growing up...shaping us into the adults we become...Where we grow up...Who we surround ourselves with...The opportunities that our communities have or don't have to participate in sports and arts and student government and field trips...local industry and economy...topography. It's crazy...when you really think about it...how DIFFERENT our experiences are...and yet...how we're all sharing many of the SAME experiences too. It's WILD!

These kinds of musings help to give me perspective on my own life...That I could be having a very different experience if I lived in, say...Austin, TX...or Phoenix, AZ...and...it gets me thinking....

Why do people choose to live where they live? Why do I live where I live? Would I be happier living somewhere else? Am I sooooo caught up in my "New York reality" that I've completely lost touch with what's happening elsewhere in the world?

Being here in SoCal is interesting. I try to imagine myself actually LIVING in San Diego...Imagining if this was my daily reality. How would that help to shape who I am as a person?...As an artist?

The pace of life here is sooooooo different from New York. Much slower. I would definitely miss the hustle of NYC...But the sunshine here is very cheery... and I do like the Pacific Ocean.

There are plenty of crazy people on the streets of San Diego too...just like NY. So that's the same.

Anyhoo, there's no answer that I'm looking for...I just love relishing the question..."What would it be like to live somewhere else?" And I let my imagination run wild....

Imagination is a beautiful thing. We can live a million different outcomes in the comfort of our own heads. It's the BEST. Thank goodness for imagination!!!

And it is freeing to know that I could COMPLETELY change my life by moving to a different city. Not that I WOULD...because I love my apartment in NY...but I COULD. That's nice to know.

Sigh.

Wishing you a fantastic day of imaginary experimentation. Try on a new life for size today...in your thoughts.

Who knows? Maybe these imaginings could lead so some ACTUAL life changes...Thoughts become things, ya know.

Imagine,
Virginia

P.S. Don't forget! Tomorrow's the Acceptance Project Mixer at 7pm in Walnut Creek, CA. Click HERE for all the info! Hope to see you!

nothing last forever
not even the mountains
someday they will be swept away and swallowed by the sea
we all shall be blessedly released 

life is so precious it's as fragile as a dream
and in a moment we all grow our wings
I wish to sing as if no ones listening
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
I wish to dance as if no one is watching
and I, give thanks for my dreams
you can rob me of my sight
and you can poison my blood stream
but as long as I can dream then life is worth living

-- Brett Dennen, Nothing Lasts Forever

145. Still In Love

"Isabel: It's no good, Mr. M, I've got to face it: I'm a bad loser. Got any advice for me? 

Mr. M: On how to be a good one? 

Isabel: Ja. How to lose graciously. With dignity. I mean it. I really wish I could."

-- My Children! My Africa! by Athol Fugard, Act 1, Scene 5

As many of you know. I did not get accepted to Juilliard this year. However, before I knew that...I had already made reservations to see the 4th year's (Group 41) repertory performances.

Sooooo last night at 8pm, in spite of my recent "rejection" from Juilliard...I was back at the school, climbing the stairs and taking the elevator to the 4th Floor to see one of my favorite plays of allllll time My Children! My Africa! by Athol Fugard.

I have a very personal connection to this play because I had the privilege of playing Isabel Dyson at Solano College in CA when I was 18 years old...and it was one of the greatest theatrical experiences I have had to date. I even won a local award for it...a North Bay Arty Award...which, to youthful me, at the time, felt like winning an Oscar.

And considering my whirlwind journey through the audition/callback day, it is especially meaningful for me to be seeing this play at Juilliard.

The lovely, smart and incredibly talented Virginia Veale played the role of Isabel Dyson absolutely beautifully in this production. (Yes, her name is Virginia also.) She is incredible to watch. Amazing presence. I cannot wait to see what her future career has in store!

And her performance was well-matched with the buoyant intensity of Sekou Laidlow as Mr. M and the grounded focus of Jeremie Harris as Thami. The play could not possibly have had a stronger cast.

I love, love, loved the show. And being there at Juilliard to see it...felt triumphant to me in a strange way.

As I was sitting in my seat at intermission, staring up into the rafters and letting myself breathe in the moment and enjoy being in this theatre space that once held such HOPE for me...I felt a twinge of sadness knowing that though they have not selected me for their Final Callback Weekend...that my feelings about the school have not changed as a result...I'm still just as in love with this place as I was last week and the week before that and the week before that.

Sigh.

It was sort-of like meeting-up with an ex-boyfriend and after spending a few moments in their presence...you realize that even though it's over and you know you can no longer be together...that you are still in love with them and cannot help but appreciate all the many details of their wonderfulness...all those little things that made you fall in love with them in the first place.

That was the experience of seeing this show at Juilliard for me.

I cannot deny it. I am still in love. And though I know that I will not be attending the school in Fall of 2012...it doesn't stop me from appreciating the valuable gift they're giving me tonight...The opportunity to experience this great story...being presented on stage with great actors...in this great city of New York...free of charge.

(Tickets to the drama school's student productions are free, BTW,...free!)

I love what they do here and I love the WAY they do it. It's just an awesome place to be.

So...even though I must admit...I was scared to come and see this show...(I thought it might be toooo crushing for me to sit in the audience and watch a show at a school that has just rejected me for admission)...I had to prove to myself that I'm not a "bad loser" and just come support the show anyway.

And I am reeeeeallly glad I did. Because, it made me realize that I can still be a part of this community at Juilliard, in my own small way, even as an audience member. I don't have to be "accepted" to do that. And, if their shows continue to inspire me and make me feel like I want to try again and audition there next year...I CAN! (Juilliard currently allows MFA applicants to audition for the program twice only.)

Or...if Juilliard is really not meant to be part of my life's path after all...I can still love the program.

Once in love, always in love...That's just the way I roll, I guess...with ex-boyfriends and graduate schools alike.

:-)

Still, there could be another lover, just around the corner...ready to sweep me off my feet!

We shall see how things end up with NYU this year. Still waiting to hear back from them.

But the most important thing that I keep reminding myself to do...is to stay open to what feels like the best future path for me. If that's grad school...as I have hoped and have been dedicated to preparing for...for soooooo long....then FANTASTIC. But...if all this preparation and blogging and learning and growing and maturing leads me to some other acting-related pathway...then, I suppose that all of this will have been a valuable and non-linear pathway to my future.

Ain't that always the way life goes anyway?

The process of preparation for these grad school auditions...has given me a great sense of purpose in my life...a concrete goal to work towards. So, even though the outcome at Juilliard this year hasn't turned out the way I had hoped, I am still glad that I auditioned...because the value that I've received from the journey is a gift that I will always have...and this blog, chronicling the whole journey...has been an education unto itself...like no other.

You see...I'm just tryin' to figure out what to do with my life...and these creative impulses I've been given...Don't want to waste my life doing something I don't LOVE. And I KNOW I love acting. So I'll keep moving in the direction of my dreams...of becoming the best professional actor that Virginia Wilcox can possibly be.

Gotta have faith that the BEST possible future outcomes will naturally occur as a result of my continued heartfelt efforts.

Soooo I'm staying open to the possibilities,...loving the things I love,...and trusting that following my true heart is always the best way...even if it doesn't make logical sense.

Thank you, Juilliard.

Warmly,
Virginia

"Isabel:  ...You gave me a little lecture once about wasted lives...how much of it you'd seen, how much you hated it, how much you didn't want that to happen to Thami and me. I sort of understood what you meant at the time. Now, I most certainly do. Your death has seen to that.  

My promise to you is that I am going to try as hard as I can, in every way that I can, to see that it doesn't happen to me. I am going to try my best to make my life useful in the way yours was. I want you to be proud of me. After all, I am one of your children you know. You did welcome me to your family. The future is still ours, Mr. M."

-- My Children! My Africa! by Athol Fugard, Act 2, Scene 5

89. Learn From The Best

"I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all." - Leo Babauta, ZenHabits.net

I want to be a life-long-learner. Part of this whole journey of wanting to get back to school and get my MFA in acting has been motivated by my desire to continue to LEARN and, specifically, learn how to create a sustainable and fulfilling career as an artist.

Hence...applying to NYU, Yale & Juilliard...arguably three of the BEST acting programs in the US. What better place to submit to the process of learning about the craft?

Observing New Yorkers since I moved here in 2007 has expanded my perception of what is possible for ordinary people to be able to do in the world. Being here has made me more aware of the impact that everyone is making on our society every day...and the question is.. What kind of contribution are you making today? And what more would you like to do if you showed a little initiative and guts?

These are the kinds of questions that NY has caused me to ask myself.

I am surrounded by successful people EVERYWHERE. People making their living doing EXACTLY what they are passionate about, taking risks, not compromising and making a great living from their work. This is incredibly inspiring to me.

So now that I KNOW that this kind of life is possible and that even regular people are doing it. I have to ask..how do I make this a REALITY for me?

A little background on my experience as an actor in NY...

In 2009, I went to over 200 theatre auditions here. I got three callbacks and booked one show.

That. Was. An. Exhausting. Year.

Just awful.

Let's not even talk about how devastating that year was for me financially or psychologically... Needless to say, to continue with that approach to my career was not a sustainable business model or healthy for my soul.

However, I acknowledge that I am an experiential learner...and I feel like I had to experience that awfulness for myself in order to know that it wasn't going to work for me.

Picture this...

200 mornings...waking up at the crack-of-dawn to stand in line with hundreds of other "me" types...all of us wanting jobs...needing to pay our rent...hoping to get an audition appointment and be "seen" for 2 minutes...sing our 16-bar-cut or speak a short monologue...and maaaaaybe be remembered by the casting assistant's intern behind the audition table...in hopes that you'd be that one "perfect" person for the job and your headshot would end up in front of someone with "actual casting authority." Such is the life of an agent-less actor. I realized that even with my Equity Card it was a looooong shot, but I kept "showing up" because I thought it was a numbers game...and EVENTUALLY I'd book something...and then I'd be "happy." Well...eventually, I did book a job...but...HAPPY?...Not so much. That job was not creatively fulfilling and it was over, start-to-finish, in less than 5 months...and back to the audition circuit I'd go.

This is not what I thought life as an actor would be...this life is not fun. Why do I feel like I'm desperately begging for a job every day? Bleh.

"Wrong approach, Wilcox. Sorry, Sweet Heart. The juice ain't worth the squeeze."

"There's gotta be a better way!"

I had to do SOMETHING differently. Because giving up acting for good was NOT AN OPTION.

I thought to myself, "You're not in Northern California anymore, Virginia. This is N.Y.C. There are new rules to this game. And you've got to learn them and figure out how YOU are going to be able to play YOUR way and not feel like you're being played. How are you going to be able to create an acting career in New York City that's... A. economically sustainable (gotta pay the rent and not get into debt) and B. creatively fulfilling (this is what you LOVE to do, right?) Being actor in NY is NOT an easy task or for the faint-of-heart or the "dabbler." You've got to be COMMITTED to failing and taking risks and thinking outside-the-box in order to LEARN how to make this career happen for you."

And I discovered that...I don't like feeling like the "long-shot" at an audition. I hate walking into the room and feeling like the casting director is thinking, "Virginia Wilcox, who? And why should I care?...NEXT." Actually...that's what I was thinking when I walked into the room...And THAT was the REAL problem.

I realized that I had get to a place in my own head where I could feel like the "sure-thing"... Eventually, I would like to be the person that walks into the audition room and the casting director's reaction is "Oh, thank goodness Virginia Wilcox is here. I love her work." So how do I get THERE?

I am still in the process of discovering the answer to this question. I'm hoping that part of the answer will be the confidence and exposure I will gain from my grad school experience.

But the most urgent question that pertains to NOW... is... What do I need to do TODAY to get myself on that path?

"It's often from a sense of discontent, feelings of incompleteness, or even a twinge of true unhappiness that the seeds of great accomplishment are sown." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

I didn't want to buy into the "starving actor" mentality anymore. I'm not interested in "surviving" as an actor. I want to THRIVE as an actor.

So, what did I do after my marathon 200 audition year? I did what every self-respecting actor/actress in their right mind would do...I stopped auditioning and got a "day-job."

F*%k auditioning...I have to eat, make rent and these credit card bills are NOT going to pay themselves.

:-p

But what about acting? Was Virginia Wilcox giving up?! Maybe... maybe not...

"A young woman with an extra ten or twenty thousand in her pocket has a lot more room to maneuver than a girl who's broke at the end of every month...There's no disgrace in waiting tables if it's part of a long-term strategy." - Hugh MacLeod (taken from Tim Ferris' blog)

I knew I needed to figure out a strategy before I could move forward again... I knew that what I'd been doing wasn't working and wasn't making me happy and that if I continued on that path that it'd ultimately lead me to damage my love for acting (NO!!!). I couldn't let the challenges and competitive nature of the "business" destroy my desire to participate in this art form.


But what exactly was getting in my way? How could I approach all this in a smarter more fulfilling way?

And more specifically, was I really ready and willing to let go of everything in my life that's keeping me from my goal...thoughts, habits, relationships...anything that doesn't support me or has become unhealthy and no longer serves me...Would I really be brave enough to let it all go in service to my dream?

Scary.

Needs support.

Needs inspiration.

Needs to know that the juice will be worth the squeeze.

I became drawn to stories of successful people and how they became who they are today. Though many famous people I admire have amazing stories...I felt a certain distance from many of their tales because a lot of them started out with more resources in life than I felt I had. So, in my mind, I thought...well...NATURALLY they'd be successful...if they came from money... or if they were BORN into a family of industry leaders...or they found an influential MENTOR early in their life that enabled them entry into their field of choice. But those were not my circumstances.

So I kept searching until I found a story of an ORDINARY person, with similar resources to my own, no significant advantages to speak of, that found a smart and self-loving way to make their dreams happen in spite of the odds...

And that person was not an actor (surprise!) and came from the most unlikely of places...Guam...His name is Leo Babauta and it's his success story that has inspired me the MOST!


From Leo I have learned HOW to get over resistance to doing something you've never thought yourself capable of before and HOW changing your life in small ways can lead to changing your life in BIG ways...

READ LEO'S STORY HERE.

If Leo found a way to achieve his goals, then I can too! And my way may be slightly different than his way...but I will use his tools and adapt them to my own needs.

Some improve-your-habits-to-change-your-life guidance from Leo:

• Do one habit at a time.
• Make it easy to do.
• Do it consciously, very consciously at first.
• Don't allow any exceptions.
• Post your progress publicly.
• Keep doing it every single day.
• Enjoy the habit.

Sounds like a description of AcceptanceProjectNYC, huh?

Yes. I am totally unoriginal. All my good ideas are stolen and regurgitated from others.

Maybe that's my true calling...selective regurgitation.  ;-)

Anyway...

Leo inspires me because his is a story of an ORDINARY man, with ORDINARY resources, and with EXTRAORDINARY aspirations. He has completely changed his life... all because he was unhappy with the way things were going and he wanted a change. And he figured out a way to make the changes in his life soooooo easy and soooooo simple, that he couldn't make excuses for not doing it. For him, he made TINY changes...one thing at a time, one day at a time, step by step, inch by inch...nothing sweeping or grand. But NOW...all of those little moment-to-moment decisions have added up and he's living the life of his DREAMS and loving the life he's created.

I've been following his blog for a couple of years now. He's had such a HUGE impact on my life. But it's funny... I've never contacted him once, or commented on his blog or anything. He's changed my life by telling his story and he'll probably never know my name!

That's the beauty of the internet, I suppose. You put yourself out there...and somebody's happy to read what you've written. (You'll never really know the impact you've had on people. And that's probably best anyway, 'cause it's really too overwhelming to process psychologically.)

Thank you, Leo...for sharing your story. It has motivated me to stop sitting around and waiting for the life I wanted to find me...Now I'm taking action to create it, one tiny moment and one blog post at a time.

So hopefully, in the future I'll be able to make a whole huge awesome list of things I've accomplished with these baby steps...things that will have great meaning to me...because I took the reigns of my own life and did what I could to get the ball rolling.

I'm my own knight in shining armor...saving my own inner damsel in distress. And I know that no matter what happens with the "outcome" of this grad school goal, we're gonna live happily ever after.

Thank you to all of YOU, my readers, who CARE about pursuing your dreams! Please know that I am personally invested in your success! It's always such a thrill for me to press "send" and know that you're reading! And I'll keep showing up on this blog...6 days a week. Because I TRULY BELIEVE that you can create EXACTLY the kind of life you've always secretly imagined, by doing a little bit every day to move yourself in the direction of your dreams.

We're gonna get there, people. Where ever "there" is exactly...will become clear later. But, right now, at least we're on the way.

You may say that I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one,
Virginia

"Think only as you can think, which will lead to feelings that only you can feel, from which connections will be made, lives will be changed, and worlds will come tumbling into existence." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

84. New York

Workin' on my online applications for Yale and NYU today...and listening to Alicia Keys sing my soul!

Enjoy!

Keep dreamin'...realities will follow.

Loves,
V

"Having a dream is more important than having it come true...They all come true eventually, only to be replaced by others. Until then, they turn you on, give you hope, and bring you closer to home." - Mike Dooley, Tut.com

81. Paid Vacation

You know what would be the most awesome day-off EVER?

Well, let me tell you...

I'd start it off by sleeping-in to the late, late hour of 8am.

I'd hop on the train and get a glorious hour-long massage from the loving hands and kind heart of expert massage guru Edan Harai of Kinetic Massage Therapy.

After that, I'd meet up with my dear friend and super-talented lighting designer Jake DeGroot, and we'd pop over to The Book of Mormon on Broadway. I'd laugh my a$$ off and jump to my feet with passionate applause at the amazing performance with all proceeds benefiting The Actor's Fund (my favorite charity organization).

After the show, I'd say bye-bye to Jake and then stop by Green Symphony and have a lovely time chillin' with my childhood friend and talented Broadway-up-and-comer Ms. Alysha Umphress, who will be opening On A Clear Day with Harry Connick Jr on Dec 11. Break legs, Alysha! Then it might be fun if singer/actress Dani Marcus walked in to Green Symphony and said hello... or if Angela Bassett (currently starring in The Mountaintop) walked in and sat down at the table next to us. How fun would that be?

I love New York.

Then...because one amazing Broadway show is really never enough...I'd head over to Venus In Fur and miraculously get a ticket from the "waiting list"... (The rest of the run being completely sold out!) I would get an AMAZING seat... E 102... Orchestra... On the aisle. Score! And I'd also miraculously have enough money in my bank account to be able to pay for this ticket. Double-score!

And then the show would be AMAZING and I'd wait around after... like a total FAN... and get to shake the hands of both Nina Arianda and Hugh Dancy...'cause I would be the only one crazy enough to wait around in the pouring rain to tell them that they're awesome...which I hope they already KNOW. But it's good to be reminded of these things, I think.

Lastly...I'd head back home to Astoria, take a hot shower and blog.

This would be my idea of an amazing mid-week-paid-vacation-day from work.

...And that's exactly what just happened!!! I just got to experience my ideal vacation day for REALZ people!

Gotta love playing hookie.

Actually... I'd PAY to be able to have this kind of day... but luckily I don't have to because I LIVE IN NY!!! Thank you, New York, for making this day possible.

Move here and New York will give you days like this too. True story.

Plenty of New York magic to go around,
Virginia

70. My Surreality

"Have gratitude for how blessed you truly are. Be a blessing for everything around you." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Seems like everyone is taking a moment to remind themselves of all the things they're grateful for today. So I shall jump on the band-wagon and add my two-cents to all the thankfulness shout-outs.

Today I am most grateful for... NEW YORK CITY.

My life is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT REALITY since I moved to NY in 2007.

It has been both DEVASTATING and EUPHORIC, but definitely transformational... becoming a New Yorker and making my own way in the big city.

I am thankful for both the challenges and privileges of living in this city. Life is really amazing here on a daily basis. It's like nothing else I've ever experienced. I never imagined it would be like this. But here I am!!!

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings." - Ralph Blum

For example, this is a typical day for me as of 11/23/2011 (yesterday). I have many moments to be grateful for in a typical day... See below...

6:00am  - Woke up in the softest bed I've ever slept in. I am cat-sitting at a friend's house on 2nd Ave and 53rd St in Manhattan. The building has a doorman and 3 elevators and the apartment has a dishwasher... LUXURIOUS!

7:30am - Blogged. Happy to live in a country where we have freedom-of-speech and I can do such things without government censorship.

8:45am - Walked to work, enjoying the brisk air and blue sky. Listening to music on my iPhone, which is a device that I love, love, love and keeps me connected with people that I love, love, love.

9:00am - Arrived at my schmancy Madison Avenue office building where I get to feel super special because I have "security clearance" to get into the building and I have my own desk with my own direct line and my own bowl of York Peppermint Patties on said desk to lure people to come and say hello to me while I am working. Also, I have a super nice bosses who always smile at me and say good morning and are genuinely happy to have me working with them. Soooo I am BEYOND BLESSED to feel appreciated at my job.

12:30pm - Lunch arrives... This is one of the BEST perks about my job. (This is about to blow your mind.) Our company buys us lunch every day and it is delivered to the office. I can order practically anything I want. NO JOKE. Can you even believe that's REAL? It's the BEST. I am soooooo grateful for this EVERY DAY. Seriously... free food is the way to win company loyalty. That's my theory, anyway.

5:00pm - Normally this is the time when I leave work and go about my life... But on this particular day I am working over-time because we've got a big event coming up and I am staying late to make sure that everything is going to be flawless and awesome and smooth-sailing. I love that I am allowed to work over-time for two reasons: A. It's great that my job gives me the time I need to be able to do my job well and B. That they compensate me for this valued contribution. I am NEVER expected to work for free. :) This makes me feel respected and it's a feeling I like getting used to.

7:00pm - I throw on some jeans, leave work and walk a few blocks over to Carnegie Hall... where Jason Mraz happens to be playing his Carnegie Hall debut concert on his "You Are Loved" tour. Yup... just got off of work and hopped on over to CARNEGIE HALL. That is my SURREALITY, people! Having easy access too AMAZING, world-class and unique cultural experiences is one of the BEST things about living in New York. I am soooo blessed to be able to live here.

11:30pm - I walk across the island of Manhattan on my way back to the beautiful apartment where I am cat-sitting... in my after-concert glow... Jason Mraz branded t-shirt in hand... and I feel perfectly safe in my city. I am alert and aware of my surroundings, but feel secure in my ability to walk in Manhattan, alone, late at night and reach my final destination in safety. Grateful for that.

Sooooo that's a typical kind of day for me in my current life in New York. Can you blame me for loving it here?

It hasn't always been that awesome/amazing/cushy/loving. But I am grateful for the gritty/awfulness too... because I wouldn't appreciate the goodness without all of the tough times that came before... when I felt alone, unloved, broke, invisible, trapped, unsafe, sad and lost. There were TONS of those days too.

"For sleep, riches and health to be truly enjoyed, they must be interrupted." - Jean Paul Richter, writer (1763-1825)

"New York doesn't give a f*%k, but in a loving way."... LOL! That's a direct quote from Jason's concert. And I think that's soooo true. That's been my experience, at least.

Anyhoo, I'm a big believer that we create our own reality... by the choices we make, the people we chose to surround ourselves with and the information we choose to fill our brains with. (For this reason, I cannot watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because it makes me too sad to see American women spending $40,000 on a pair of earrings that they don't even like and making themselves miserable... when they could be spending $40,000 on helping someone better their life and making themselves happier knowing that they've done some good in the world. They are living in the reality of their own making though, it's their choice... and it hurts my soul to watch and I don't want that to be a part of MY reality... so I will turn off the TV.)

"What do we live for, it it is not to make life less difficult for each other?" - George Eliot, novelist (1819-1880)

I hope that with all of the abundance that has come into my life in recent years, that I will always strive to be a good steward of the resources I am given. I want to strike a solid balance between taking care of my own needs in a self-loving way, but also using my resources to be generous to others whenever I have the opportunity.

Thank you, New York, for giving me sooooo much and constantly reminding me to appreciate what I've got. I never imagined that this kind of life would be possible for me. I am blessed.

Gratefully yours,
Virginia
 

"Gratitude, gratitude and more gratitude." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

63. A Non-Linear Path To Doritos

"Many of you have the illusion of being separate, alone, disconnected and unsupported and yet you are not. If you begin to focus on how everything is connected then you will begin to experience a greater sense of support, belonging and harmony. You will begin to streamline your intentions and trust the universe to deliver. Your life will become richer and you will feel more active and participatory rather than passive and victimized." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Ever look back on your life and realize that things hardly ever happen in the way you might think?

One thing leads to another... leads to another... leads to another... It's damn-near impossible to predict!

Today, I shall share with you one such example from my own life...

How I got to be in a Doritos Commercial that was entered into this year's Crash The Superbowl contest and will hopefully be aired during said Superbowl and win the grand prize of a MILLION dollars, but if not... is still a really coooool gig and a project I am really glad to be a part of and is only the beginning of a great creative relationship!!!

Here's how it happened step-by-step:

Four years ago I found out that the School of Visual Arts in NY was having an actor/film-maker mixer.

I attended said "mixer" and gave my headshot and resume to the casting director who put me into the database.

In seemingly unrelated news... My friend Christine dragged me to Yoga To The People one evening after work and I was HOOKED. I started doing yoga once or twice a week... and still do.

I would occasionally get emails from the casting director at SVA inviting me to come and participate as an actor in some of the student's film directing classes.

For years I never could make it to any of the dates she invited me to, but I kept resubmitting an updated headshot and resume with the casting director every year and kept in contact with her through email.

One day this summer she sent me an email inviting me again. This time I could make it work in my schedule and I agreed to do it.

I showed up at SVA and met student director Anna Alaimo. I was an actor in her comedic student short about a Nutellaholics Anonymous group. Fun!

I gave Anna my contact info and she promised to send me a link to the final cut of Nutellaholics Anonymous on YouTube.

In seemingly unrelated news... I began blogging on Sept. 5th.

Later in Sept., she sent me the link to the student short as promised. I sent her a "thank you" reply with a link to my BLOG attached.

She responded back with how much she loved the Don't Let The Perfect Be The Enemy Of The Good post and she said she felt like we were going through very similar spiritual journeys. She suggested we have lunch.

I gladly accepted.

We met up in midtown, had lunch at Dishes and hit it off like peanut butter and peanut butter.

She asked me if I ever do yoga and if I was free on Sunday.

I said... yes and yes.

In seemingly unrelated news... I work M-F, 9-5 and am often free on Sundays. :-p

She said that she was going to be shooting a Doritos Commercial for a contest and would I like to be in it?

Um... YES!!!!

Sunday came. I subway'd it over to the location in Manhattan. I brought my yoga mat. We shot the commercial.

Yesterday... she sent me a link to the final cut of said commercial.

Today... I am blogging about it.

Here's the "Ohm" DORITOS COMMERCIAL... Directed by Anna Alaimo.

So that's my non-linear path to Doritos.

Annnnnd we're shooting another scene on Thursday (unrelated to Doritos.. or Nutella) ... and Anna's working on a feature length script too!!! Soooo many fun things to look forward to!

But the best part of it all... is getting to have Anna in my life. She is first and foremost a great person and secondarily I LOVE working with her. I feel like we were sort-of meant to meet... Thank you, SVA! Thank you, Blogger.com! Thank you, Universe!

And THAT's how things happen in show business... or in business-business... or in life.


Ya never know!


Loves,
V

"The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

36. How I Found My Guy

“The world is a looking glass, and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face.” – William Makepeace Thackery, novelist (1811-1863)

Today’s the day of the shoot, ya’ll!!! Gettin’ new headshots today!

I am prepared…

• 8 hours of sleep… Check!
• Bag full of assorted clothing options… Check!
• Fully-stocked make-up case… Check!
• Check-in-hand… Check!
• Joyful sense of anticipation… Check!

Thank goodness for re-touching because I think I woke up with at least three new pimples today. Always, happens that way, right? Bleh! No matter.

“Flawed can be more perfect than perfection.” – Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

I am super grateful that it’s not raining and the sun is out! Hooray! We’re shooting outdoors… so we’re gonna have some goooood light this afternoon! Yes!!!

Who is going to be shooting these masterful photos you ask?

Answer to my photography prayers = Mr. Dylan Patrick @ http://dpheadshots.com/

I found him on Facebook. He shot my friend Anna Ty Bergman’s headshots and I thought her shots had great style, gorgeous color and really captured her essence. That’s what I’d like for my shots… ESSENCE… Thank you!

So I emailed him and inquired about getting together for a consultation. (Wanted to meet with him and see if our personalities meshed.) Like a total pro, he got back to me super fast. We set up a meeting. Chatted it up about headshots and the biz and life. He takes his business very seriously but with a sense of play, now that's my kind of guy. I was very impressed by how well he communicated his headshot-photography-philosophy. He's a generous, smart and talented guy who is very passionate about his work. He treats people with respect and professionalism annnnnnd has a sense of humor. Jackpot!!! Who could ask for anything more? 

I have learned, that when it comes to headshots… you really need to feel comfortable with the person behind the camera. Whatever emotional responses they evoke in you are naturally going to come through in the photos. 

Soooo if he/she makes you feel silly and fun… you’re going to get some great smiling commercial shots. If he/she makes you feel deep and sexy… then va-va-voom! … you’re going to get some H-O-T shots.  I’m going for open and approachable… sooooo when Dylan and I met up… and I saw how open and approachable he was… that he made me feel the same! Score! Found my guy!!! Sweeeeeet.

He shoots on the roof of his apartment on 10^th Ave in Midtown. So I’m gonna head over there, hang out with him, his wife and his on-staff make-up artist…. have some snacks, maybe a drink, shoot-the-breeze and take some photos while we’re at it. Sounds like a rockin’ afternoon to me!  Life is good. I love New York.

Can’t wait to see how the pix turn out. And ya’ll can look forward to a future post where I will ask you guys to weigh-in on the headshot options, that is, of course, after Dylan and I get the chance to narrow down the best-of-the-best.

Let’s relax, have a good time and make some photo magic! Wish me luck!

Hugs,

Virginia

“Be flexible in your plans, never blame the weather and continue to be a cooperative participant in whatever happens.” – Lena Stevens, The PowerPath

32. Top 7 Things I Am Grateful For Today

“You’ve already gone farther than you used to dream of going.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

I love this quote because it reminds me to look at my current life with a sense of context. It’s not about “Why am I not already at my destination?” That will NEVER lead me to happiness or a sense of contentment.

It’s way more fun to think… “Look at where I am at now, as compared to where I used to be… or where I THOUGHT I might be waaaaay back when.” 

I like to have a thankful attitude, for all of life’s crazy twists-and-turns and obstacles-overcome and lessons-learned. It gives me a sense of hope and freedom-from-stress about the future. 

So allllll this time I spend plotting and planning and anticipating what will bring me happiness in the future is really for naught... lol… yeah, I know that life will unfold the way it will, even with all my best intentions… and THANK GOODNESS! Because I think the way things have turned out so far is waaaaay better than I could have dreamed. So I don’t sweat it so much anymore.

I have survived these first 30 years (the good, the bad, the embarrassing, etc.) and I am able to be happy… even though the circumstances of my life NOW are never what I had anticipated they would be… I still have the ability to choose happiness.

I try to move toward what makes me feel good in my life today and away from things that don’t make me feel good. Don't get me wrong, I’m not looking for instant pleasure. Rather, I aim for lasting satisfaction. But even long-term satisfaction starts with feeling good now about myself now and my choices now and my life now.

My mantra is…

I love to be doing only that which is truly good for me.

And when I am actually living my mantra, my life feels super awesome… guaranteed. 

Because when I am being good to myself, more goodness starts flowing into my life. Sounds a little woo-woo, perhaps, but in my experience, I have found it to be absolutely true…as true as the sky is blue above the clouds.

So in the interest of taking stock of the awesomeness that I daily experience, but often ignore, I am going to write out the top 7 things I am grateful for today. Why 7? That’s my lucky number. And I am a very, very lucky girl/woman/person.

“A little gratitude goes a long way.” – Lena Stevens, ThePower Path

1. My body. It feels great to have a body. The way warm water slides along the skin in the shower or the way a cool breeze tickles the hair on your arms, the relief of a great exhale of breath or the way the earth feels gritty and solid beneath your toes. Sensations are amazing. The body, especially one that is free from pain, is such a gift.

2. Financial independence. Historically, many women have been supported financially by their families or husbands, as a common practice. However, because of the freedoms of our modern society, women in America are able to be the breadwinners for themselves. When I was finally able to pay my bills all on my own, without being dependent on anyone else for any financial assistance… this felt like a HUGE accomplishment for me and gave me a huge sense of personal pride.  It feels AMAZING to be able to pay my rent all on my own and know that my financial decisions are mine and mine alone. Hard-earned lesson, but soooo worth it. Liberating.

3. Loving and supportive friends. I have made an effort in recent years to be very careful and selective about who I spend my time with and who I trust my heart with and who I allow myself to be vulnerable with. People that are caring and fun and support me in my mantra (see above), tend to stay around and we grow together as humans and learn how to love and support each other more and more!… And those that don’t fit that description… well, I let them go... with love and best wishes.

4. New York. This city has been the most challenging partner I’ve ever encountered in life. That song lyric, “If you can make it here, you’ll make it anywhere…” Um… yeah… That is TRUE… Not because New York is MEAN or something. It’s not. It’s awesome! It’s just that it’s intense to live here. There’s a lot of humans living in a very small amount of space and there’s so much going on all the time and it totally challenges you psychologically. How do people learn to handle all this constant stimuli and the crowds and the opportunity and the disappointment and the need to rest and be renewed? How to find a way to balance all of that and still remain in-touch with your unique essence? There's no "right" answer. Everyone's got to find their own. That’s why that song lyric is so freakin’ true. If you can survive New York and still manage to remain YOU… Wow… You are one flexible/strong human being.

5. My day-job. I don’t talk a ton about my day-job on this blog. Mostly because… I know that I will have to leave it, if/when I do get into grad school and that makes me a little sad, I must admit. I am very well-suited to my current work. I love my bosses. I look forward to being there every day. My contributions are appreciated. I am well-compensated. I get to travel occasionally. It’s not stressful and it’s fun. Truly… my experience at this job has given me so much confidence and joy… I know I will always look back on it as one of the best times of my life. It’s helped to give me the courage to continue on my current trajectory and for that I will always, always be grateful.

6. Giving teachers. I have been a sponge for learning in the past several years, soaking up knowledge from people and books and experiences… where ever I can get it. I am soooo grateful for all of my teachers, both formal and informal, for sharing their thoughts/experiences/lives with me. I love learning from other people’s stories and allowing them to inspire my own. I especially admire their courage to speak up and share, in spite of their fears. I have benefited from their acts of courage in ways that they will never know.

7. This blog. This blog… has given me a voice. Well, I guess I’ve always had a voice… but I didn’t necessarily feel like I had the right to speak up… or that anyone would give a flying-f*#k about what I thought. And by giving myself the challenge to really check-in daily and write candidly about my process… well, I feel like I am benefiting from the experience waaaaaay more than anyone else is! And the fact that this is blog post number 32… and I’m still going… and that there’s somebody out there that’s actually reading this?! That’s CRAZY/AWESOME. I’ve currently got 77 email subscribers! That’s insane to me…That I press “send” and that little action sends my rantings to 77 people’s inboxes… for them to promptly delete… or maybe READ. Whew! Very cool.

Anyhoo, life is literally awesome when you really take stock of it. So I encourage you to take a minute and write out your top 7… or 12… or 262 things that you’re grateful for today. There is sooooo much good in this world and so much to be grateful for and so much more unanticipated awesomeness yet to come.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Virginia

“If you look for what’s right – in others, in relationships, in yourself and your journey – you’ll always find it… Same when looking for what’s wrong.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

6. Have Gratitude For How Blessed You Truly Are

“We want our lives to not just be creative but purposeful, growing us towards a deeper satisfaction around what we are actually doing here on the planet.”

-          Lena Stevens, http://www.thepowerpath.com/

Today is a day of looking back for New Yorkers, honoring the past, taking stock of how far we’ve come, being reminded…  that the sweetness of this moment is really all we have. 

It is also a day of looking forward to working together to build a future that we can all be safe in and be proud of.

I am overwhelmed with gratefulness for all that New York City has provided for me in my life’s journey so far. Moving here in 2007, was the most challenging and best decision I’ve made in my life.

New York is my home!

However, New York is not an easy place to live. Especially in the early days, I have sometimes felt invisible here. But it forced me to see myself rather than rely on being seen by others, a very healthy and empowering feeling.

Still, I’ve never truly been invisible. In my time here, I have found New York City to be filled with some of the most friendly, caring, genuine and willing-to-look-out-for-each-other human beings on the planet.

My New York experience has made me supremely aware of exercising patience, kindness and good manners in all public places, as well as the importance of being assertive and steadfastly standing up for what you need, with both friends and strangers.

There is an energy, a pulse to NYC that you can feel almost viscerally, if you tune into it. Such is the nature of living in close quarters with so many people.

Being surrounded by fellow travelers on a crowded subway… navigating the sidewalks, while keeping your pace and dodging the tourists, New Yorkers share this collective experience every day.

Collective experience is a powerful thing. It can bring people together in a very emotional way and can help to create deep and lasting connections with humans that you otherwise wouldn’t have taken the time to know.

As artists, we seek to create collective experiences for our fellow human beings that will have an emotional impact of some kind. 

When you’ve met your goal, it’s a feeling like no other…  It’s like.. “ZING!  Did you feel that?... Yeah, me too!.. Wow, that was crazy… Yeah. Glad you were here with me.”

The collective experience stays with you. You remember it for weeks/years to come. You tell all of your friends about it... with passionate words and hand gestures! 

If it is strong enough, that collective experience can even shape who you are becoming. Feelings are potent.

So today, we’re all feeling it out together… remembering for ourselves and our loved ones… where we were when the towers fell and what that meant for ourselves, for our fellow citizens, for our country and for our planet.

Back then we were all questioning.... How were we going deal with this tragedy? What were we going to learn from this? How would we move forward? (Not to mention... Who's fault was this? And how could this have been prevented?)

Cut to now... How do you think we did? Have these past 10 years anything like you thought they might be? Nationally? Personally?

For me? These past 10 years have been NOTHING like what I had anticipated at all! 

On Sept 11, 2001, I sat transfixed to the television watching the live footage and feeling helpless, not knowing how to process these powerful emotions… My heart bursting with empathy for all those that were being directly affected by the losses of that day.

Life is fragile. 

It makes one reflect…What do you feel called to do with the valuable time that you’ve got on this planet? We have the privilege of making that choice afresh every morning… until one day… we won’t.

I had no future aspirations of moving to New York in 2001. But in retrospect, perhaps my attention was drawn to New York then? And the sense of national pride that followed, as we all watched New Yorkers take lemons and make lemonade, made me curious about that resilient and inextinguishable city.

New York may have been down, but it was not out…  NYC would rebuild, and rise again, stronger and more united. Ms. Liberty’s light shone brighter and more beautiful than ever... with hope.

I guess, I wanted that to be my story too.

I still do.

I love you, NYC. You’ve come so far! I am truly in awe of you.

Wishing you peace and love in the hearts of your people.

Thank you.

Yours,

Virginia

“Have gratitude for how blessed you truly are. Be a blessing for everything around you.”

-          Lena Stevens, http://www.thepowerpath.com/