25. Motivation Is Better Than Discipline

“Don’t let the “shoulds” of false responsibilities and expectations of others derail you from being fully present, awake and engaged in what you know you need … for yourself.” – Lena Stevens, The Power Path 

Big endeavors require a lot of discipline to see through to the end.  Applying to grad school is a many stepped process, that mere fact tends to weed-out folks that are not really willing to put in the work that it takes to apply. Those that stick with it, seeing it through to audition day, tend to be people that are able to demonstrate the discipline it takes to prepare and make things happen for themselves. I applaud them, each and every one!

However, I do not like “discipline.” I don’t like the word and I don’t really like to think of myself as a disciplined person… Though to the outside world, I may resemble one.

I prefer MOTIVATION. I am a motivated person. I do what I do because I am motivated to do so… by love… not by discipline.

Discipline = The heartless shell of motivation.

Soooo, in the interest of feeding my insatiable appetite for motivation…

I spent the weekend completely immersed in the worlds of Yale and NYU theatre. Saturday I took the MetroNorth to New Haven and attended “Three Sisters” at Yale Rep and took the subway on Sunday to see “Clybourne Park” and “Measure For Measure,” on 2nd Ave, NYC, with NYU’s 3^rd Year Grad Actors.

I am very fortunate to live close to both schools, so I am taking full advantage of my proximity.

Here’s what I found to motivate me in continuing toward my goal of acceptance to the grad acting programs at NYU and Yale...

"Three Sisters":

1.       Do I love Chekhov plays?... No. Three hours of fear-filled people complaining, longing, wallowing-in-misery and never actually GOING to Moscow? Not my bag. However, it did make me feel very strong feelings of anger and frustration at those characters' choices. (Not to mention, Les Waters is one of my favorite theatre directors of all time.) And theatre that makes you really FEEL something, well, that’s good theatre. And good theatre is something I’d like to be a part of.

2.       Brian Wiles and Josiah Bania were the two Yale MFA students in the cast of otherwise all AEA  professionals. Though they were cast as very minor characters, the energy and specificity with which they both embodied the lives of these young soldiers made them stand-outs. They raised the temperature of the room when they entered the stage, in a good way. Bravo you MFA students!!! You show those Equity actors how it’s DONE! I want to raise the temperature of the room too!

3.       Just being there, in New Haven, on campus, at the theatre, surrounded by academia… is motivating enough. I love how quiet it is and the beautiful stone buildings and the trees and cute little shops/restaurants and the students milling about discussing their drunk-tweeting binge from the night before.  Yale appeals to my suburban roots.  Drunk tweeting aside, it feels great to be there.

"Clybourne Park" & "Measure For Measure":

1.       "Clybourne Park" is a GREAT play… Not just a good play. It is a GREAT play. It’s timely, smart, well-written, socially-aware, concise, with beautifully complex and fleshed-out characters that you CARE about. NYU can pick ‘em. It was a fantastic choice of material. I’d be GRATEFUL to be able to immerse myself in a piece like that. Seriously. Motivating.

2.       The performances of the 3^rd Year Grad Actors in "Clybourne Park" and "Measure for Measure" were all super solid. Everyone demonstrated the quality of their training mixed with the unique inspiration that only they can bring… that thing that brings a character to LIFE. There were PEOPLE  up on that stage, and when they were at their best they were just BEING up there… LIVING… reacting… listening… It’s such a beautiful thing when you’re in the audience and you forget that it’s a PLAY. It makes me want to play too!

3.       Design… I have to say, the set/costume/lighting design on both productions were really fantastic. The attention to detail and effort that clearly went into every little thing… I mean, WOW! And there were only a hand-full of performances. No matter, they really went all out and it made the experience of watching the show that much more excellent. And excellence is very, very cool.

Soooo, I think I’ve got some nice motivation to keep me boppin’ out of bed at 5am to write this blog… and to work on my monologues and my personal statement and keep going to the gym and eating right and doing all those things that will help me be a solidly prepared candidate for the next class to be accepted at NYU, Yale… or Juilliard.

Discipline? :-p Who needs it? That sounds like torture.

I’ve got me some motivation… and that feels like JOY!

Loves,

V

P.S. For goodness-sakes, if you want to go to Moscow, don't just sit around talking about it for years... GO TO MOSCOW. But remember, when you get there, you're going to have to take yourself with you... so I hope you enjoy your own company! :-)

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” – Wayne Dyer

5. Commensurate Reciprocity

I put 120% of myself into any show I’m working on. I can’t help it. It’s just written into my DNA. It’s like an Excel macro that runs in my brain that forces me to care so much that I would do anything in my power (within reason… but sometimes not) to make THIS show the best project I’ve ever worked on in my LIFE.

Sound familiar?

Most every professional actor or stage manager I know is the same way. We all want our shows to be AWESOME and we all give our creative souls/sweat/blood/tears/time/energy/mileage/nights/weekends/holidays to make sure that audiences don’t go hungry for stories/entertainment… ever.

Acting is a SERVICE job. We are giving a service to the community. And what we give has great value. (Preachin’ to the choir.)

When I joined AEA in 2007, the main reason I decided to “go Equity” was because I was exhausted from giving my 120% and not feeling that I was being duly compensated in kind.

As a “non-union" member, I learned that I wanted the opportunity to be able to afford to pay my rent and not have to work three other jobs in order to have the privilege of performing on stage.

I didn’t want to be forced to sleep in my car between shows because there was nowhere backstage to lie down.

Or go home and wash my own costumes (often times provided by me) after every show and have them pressed and ready for show-time.

I didn’t want to be required to perform 12 shows in a week without over-time pay.

Or be asked to dance on rickety platforms that had not been properly reinforced because it was to “expensive.”

Ugh! I am so demanding!!! Right? I knooooow…

What I contribute as an actor on-stage has VALUE.

And I knew that by getting my Equity card, the union would honor the value of the service I was providing and, in-kind, provide me with protections that would enable me to do my work in a safer, less-stressful and ultimately waaaay more fun environment.

I am a professional actor. And, by definition, a professional is a person that is compensated for their work.

I knew that by joining the union I was limiting myself to only accepting union work in the future. There were tons of non-union shows that I would no longer be able to participate in.

But in all honesty, that didn’t bother me in the slightest.

I would rather not work at all than to work without commensurate reciprocity. And, for me, joining the union meant that I was giving myself a certain price-tag; that my 120% was worth the union contract.

There has not been a single day that I’ve regretted my decision to join. 

I have such a respect for all the AEA members who have, like me, dedicated their lives to this crazy business of show. What an incredible and talented community of brave souls to be a part of!

I am so fortunate.

I don’t know if many of you have seen some of the historical time-lines that Equity has published in past years about all of the battles that have been fought and won for the members since 1913.

The history nerd in me goes absolutely crazy for that stuff. It’s so incredible to read. I seriously love it.

Everything from required safety regulations, mandatory breaks, health insurance, pay-scale minimums, and sooo many, many, more “rights” we take for granted every day have been hard-earned by generations of valiant Equity members who were not willing to continue to accept less than what they knew they were worth!

That is why I always carry three cards with me: my driver’s license, my Visa card and my AEA card. And I will proudly be marching with my fellow Actors’ Equity union members in the NYC Labor Day Parade today.

 (Me & Nick Wyman, President of Actors' Equity)

I encourage you all to find ways to give some love/support/time/energy/shout-outs/participation to your union too.

It’s all about reciprocity.

Soooo much has already been given to help make your job/life/working environment better and more comfortable so that you can do excellent creative work.

For our own sake, for the sake of our peers and for future generations of professional actors to come, let’s not settle for less than we know we are worth, k?

Circles rise together. Let’s remember to take the time to participate in our union and continue to make steps toward strengthening our position globally and supporting each other in our mutual goal of equitable rules/compensation and more opportunities for all current and aspiring Equity members!

Happy Labor Day to all!

Regards,

V

“Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well-warmed, and well-fed.”

~Herman Melville (novelist & poet, 1819-1891)