172. Looking Forward

"Nobody can tell you who you are. It would just be another concept, so it would not change you. Who you are requires no belief. In fact, every belief is an obstacle. It does not even require your realization, since you already are who you are. But without realization, who you are does not shine forth into this world... You are like an apparently poor person who does not know he has a bank account with $100 million in it and so his wealth remains an unexpressed potential." - Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

Letting go of a belief is a hard process.

I've believed for a looooooong time that the BEST POSSIBLE NEXT STEP on my career path would be to attend Yale, NYU or Juilliard. There were many, many factors that lead me to this belief, some of which you can read about by CLICKING HERE.

In the past two years, when auditioning for grad school, I allllllways felt like I had held something back...That I was so intent on "getting in" and impressing them, that I wasn't able to show my true self. I was too scared to be vulnerable. I kept trying again because I knew that I could do better, because I had never really been able to let go of my fear that I am truly unworthy of acceptance to one of these top schools...and so, I think I was unconsciously sabotaging my performance.

But this year, I can HONESTLY say that I changed my belief and chose to GIVE MY ALL. I cannot IMAGINE being better prepared or more ready to be in-the-moment and play. And because of my blogging 6-days-a-week...I also knew exactly WHY I wanted to be there and felt confident articulating that....to anyone willing to listen. ;-p

And my auditions went incredibly well. I made it through "the first cut" at all three schools, including Yale (which was a major accomplishment, since I'd never gotten that far before). And I am thrilled to say that I made it to the "end of the day" at both my NYU Grad Acting audition and my Juilliard audition.

This year I felt like I had completely held up my end of the bargain. I did my VERY BEST...and left the rest up to the universe.

And apparently...the universe has other plans for me than attending grad school, since I did not make it to final callbacks for any of these schools.

So now...I'm having to take a good look at my belief...Is grad school really the best possible next step for me?

What else is possible for me?

Am I ready to let go of my grad school dreams?

Or do I want to try auditioning again next year?

What are the other avenues I could pursue to attain my overarching goal?...Building a life/career that will be joyful, sustainable, creatively fulfilling, profitable, challenging, of service and FUN!

I don't know the answers to any of these questions yet...Nor do I need to.

But I do think they're very important questions to be asking myself at this point.

I do know that I am soooooo tired of pursuing this dream alone. I need EXPERT GUIDANCE and MENTORSHIP to make my dreams a reality...

"As artists, we are open-minded but we need not be gullible. Many of the  people purporting to be able to help us shape our craft have very little experience with crafting something themselves. What we are looking for is people who have done what we want to do -- not someone who has watched others do it...When "help" is volunteered, we must be certain it is timely and actually helpful." - Julia Cameron, Walking In This World

So if you know someone in New York that might be a good mentor for me...Someone that is currently thriving as an creative person, making an abundant living as an actor in theatre/tv/film/voiceover, has a fantabulous relationship with their agent and is fearless, has a positive out-look on life and is interested in mentoring a highly-motivated and dedicated young actress/blogger named Virginia Wilcox...please email me at via virginia wilcox at gmail dot com. I will consider all applicants. :-)

I do believe that a solid relationship with a mentor would help me immensely.

Do I believe that I can have the kind of successful career as an actor that I've been dreaming of...without an MFA from Yale, Juilliard or NYU?....Hmmmm. That's a good question.

I guess the honest answer for right now is...no...I do not believe that I will do as well in my career without the experience of earning an MFA from one of these schools and becoming a valued member of the artistic communities associated with these institutions.

Soooooo gotta look at changing that belief perhaps! Because if I don't believe it's possible...it ain't gonna happen.

Whatever does happen next...I know it will be joyful...and good...if I allow it to be. 

My life is unfolding just the way it's supposed to...even though it's certainly not happening the way I had hoped or planned.

"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end." - Ursula K. Le Guin 

I'm okay. I am having fun with the journey! 

And I am happy that on April 1st I will be able to say that I've SUCCESSFULLY completed exactly what I set out to do: write 180 blog posts about my creative process of applying to grad school for the third time. That's a truly unique accomplishment...and out of the thousands of people that auditioned for grad school this year, I can confidently say that I'm the only one who's done THAT...It may be a weird to have a blog about auditioning for grad school, but I think it was worth it. It's been an incredible commitment device. I see the value in it anyway...and that makes me feel good....no matter what anyone else may think.

And I'm grateful for my life's many blessings....I can pay my rent...and eat...and I have a warm bed. I live in a free country. I'm safe. I'm healthy...and that's what REALLY matters.

Looking forward to the possibilities and the impossibilities that 2012 may bring...

Love to you all,

Virginia

P.S. What are the limiting beliefs that you have about your own life that may be keeping you in stasis? How can you begin to let them go?

159. Treading Water

"When you feel happy, really happy, it somehow seems that you've always been happy and that you'll always be happy. The same is often true when you feel sad, or lonely, or depressed, or broke, or sick, or scared. Something, perhaps, to remember." - Mike Dooley

You know how it is...When you're sooooooooo close to finishing that paper...or closing that show...or finishing that project...or completing that remodel...or closing on that house...or crossing that finish line...and YOU JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH IT!?!

Yup...That's MEEEE right now! Feeling sooooo reluctant to even TOUCH my computer when I get home. (And that's veeeeery unusual for me.)

But here I am...again...

B L O G G G G G I N G.

I had a difficult time deciding how I wanted to title today's post. I went with "Treading Water," but here are some of the other options I was considering...

"Yup...Still Blogging"

"Going Thru The E-Motions"

"Senior-itis"

"Are We There Yet?"

"Why Am I Still Doing This?"

"Another Day...Another Blog"

"Not Into It Today"

"Only 21 More Posts...And It's ALL DONE"

"Endurance Test (A+)...Grad School (Fail)"

"Please Let This Be Over Already"

"Who Even Cares About Getting Accepted To Grad School I Just Want To Complete This F^*ing Blogging Project So That I Can Go Back To Not Having To Think About What I'm Going To WRITE All The Time"

:-p

LOL!

Clllllleeeeeeearly, I am feeling a bit resistant to blogging today/this week/ever since I got that rejection email from Juilliard. Yup. Just gotta be HONEST...I think that was the turning point for me...when this project turned into a BiG, HUGE...WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?

Answer: Blogging...That is what I am doing with my life.

Is that really what I want to be doing?

Answer: No. Not really.

I want to be ACTING!!!!!

Why AM I STILL DOING THIS THEN?

Short Answer: Because I said I would...And I am going to keep my promise if it KILLS me.

Long Answer: I made this blog for a couple of reasons...
1. As a commitment device...to help me stay on-track with my preparations for auditioning for grad school. (Which no longer applies...since there is no more "preparation" left to do...just waiting...waiting for the rejection email from NYU to come at the end of March.)

2. As a record of what my process has been from start to finish. (This still applies... because... TECHNICALLY... the whole process is not really OVER until I get that last rejection email from NYU. All the waiting and doubting and fretting and avoidance and ups and downs and ya-da, ya-da...that's all part of the process to.)

So I suppose today is one of THOSE days...doubting...fretting...questioning...discouraged... But STILL BLOGGING anyway.

Note to self: If you want to be an actor: act. If you want to be a blogger: blog.

Seems simple...However, this logic did not occur to me when I began this project. I did NOT start this blog in order to become a BLOGGER...Yet...that is what I feel like has happened as a result of this project.

I STILL haven't been accepted to grad school...but I have a blog. A BLOG is what I have, so I am a blogger. (That I can use that label in reference to myself is such a weird realization!) I've taken on a role that I didn't really intend to be so...all-consuming. And...right now...I don't really want the responsibility that goes along with that role...with this blog. I don't WANT to share...I don't WANT to be a blogger...I want to go HIDE...like I used to be able to...before I started writing 6-days-a-week and spilling my guts in public to the blog-o-sphere.

How often to we fall into roles that we never intended? All of the sudden you blink your eyes and you're a FATHER...or you discover yourself accidentally introducing your "friend" as your "boyfriend"...or you've been promoted and you've suddenly got a fancy title and authority...or your parents pass away and you are the "head of the family" now.... or any kind of unexpected development occurs...and you're like...Wait a minute....HOW DID I GET HERE?  Do I really want to be here? Or am I here because it was the easiest/most natural thing? Or is it just my luck? Am I here by mistake? Or am I just a pawn in a greater plan that's unfolding for everyone?

I don't know the answers...

But for now... I am just showing up at my computer because I said I would and I am being honest...I feel like I'm treading water...So I'm blogging about feeling like I'm treading water...(Imagine that!)

Not feeling any forward motion...Just trying to keep my head above the water, breathe and not drown.

As a proverbial water-treader...I am totally successful.

Whoop de do.

Good thing tomorrow's another day...Could be another opportunity to tread some more water...or maybe catch a wave that'll carry me to shore.

Guess it's up to me...I can chose to ride the wave...or let it pass me by...but I refuse to go under. That ain't gonna happen.

Sigh,
Virginia

"The trick isn't to never fall down, it's to never stay down." - Matt Frazier

158. Learn How To Enjoy Relaxing

"I take it that what all men are really after is some form or perhaps only some formula of peace." - Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924)

I am seriously terrible at chilling out.

My idea of fun...is WORKING...Working on creative projects is the best...with awesome people. I love making up stories and stuff.

But I get so focused on my work that, most of the time, I waaaaay over-extend myself and make myself insane by trying to fit in too many things in one day.

It's like I think that I can just keep going and going and going from morning til night...forever...and I'm always so SHOCKED when I get hungry...or tired...or need to stop altogether. I get so disappointed in my inability to keep going. Isn't that CRAzY?

It's hard for me to justify taking a break in my own head. I always feel like I'm missing out on something. And then when my body is practically falling apart with exhaustion...I'm like..."oops...forgot to take care of my human needs today."...No wonder I get cranky.

"What??? I'm NOT a MACHINE? I need food and sleep and REST?!!" Weird.

Uggggggh! So ANNOYING! Doesn't my body know there's stuff that I want to DO today/tonight/every minute/always.

Clearly my thought-process surrounding restfulness is really messed up.

How do other people's brains work surrounding this idea of rest? I mean....what do you actually THINK in your head that helps you to allow yourself to relax? Do you really look forward to rest? Is it like..."I've worked all day...I deserve this bubble bath?" Or is it like..."I cannot go any further without food. Must refuel?"... Or maybe..."Momma told me to take a bathroom break every time I've got the urge to go."

Really, though....What are the beliefs you have/thoughts that you think/stories you tell yourself that help you to be able to let go of the stresses of your day and really relax?

There's got to be a healthier way of thinking about rest than the way I think about it. 

Oh...please, don't tell me just to go meditate or drink tea or something...In fact, I'm not interested in WHAT to do...I want to know WHY you allow yourself to relax. What THOUGHTS do you think that motivate you to relax? If you tell me WHY YOU meditate...then I'm interested. (Also, I have nothing against tea. Tea is very nice.)

I am sooooo not being articulate right now.

It's not the WHAT you do that I want to know...But WHY you allow yourself to do that thing you do...to relax. Does that make sense? WHY do you feel okay about relaxing?  Is that a totally weird question?...

I'm trying to figure out why my brain seems to have difficulty allowing me to enjoy relaxing. It's not that I don't know what to do...It's that I don't allow myself to do it, ya know?

I am completely envious of people who live with this calm and carefree air about them. Stress-free in the midst of this crazy s%!t-show that is life. Relaxed...cool...chill...such awesome qualities...Ones I'd love to master.

"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." - Ovid

I am definitely a "doer." My strength is...I DO things. But it's also my weakness...I DO too much...and exhaust myself.

It's all about balance. Tryin' to find it...

Loves,
Virginia

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."- Chinese proverb

157. What Is School For?

"An artist is someone who brings new thinking and generosity to his work, who does human work that changes another for the better. An artist invents a new kind of insurance policy, diagnoses a disease that someone else might have missed, or envisions a future that’s not here yet. 

And a linchpin is the worker we can’t live without, the one we’d miss if she was gone. The linchpin brings enough gravity, energy, and forward motion to work that she makes things happen. 

Sadly, most artists and most linchpins learn their skills and attitudes despite school, not because of it. 

The future of our economy lies with the impatient. The linchpins and the artists and the scientists who will refuse to wait to be hired and will take things into their own hands, building their own value, producing outputs others will gladly pay for. Either they’ll do that on their own or someone will hire them and give them a platform to do it."

-Seth Godin, Stop Stealing Dreams

Seth Godin is one of my favorite modern thinkers. This man questions everything!!! Not in an adversarial, confrontational way...but in a "why can't we do things better?" kind of way.

I'm reading his new e-book right now. It's called Stop Stealing Dreams. It's available to download for FREE. I highly suggest that you do.

This man gives away some amazing material on his blog every day. (Yes, I subscribe.) But this e-book is a truly exceptional exploration on what needs improving in our educational system.

I know I've been blogging all about the gloriousness of going to one of these awesome grad schools for acting...and one of the reasons I think they are such great schools, is because I've experienced a lot of mediocrity in the U.S. educational system. (Which is the subject of Mr. Godin's current e-book.)

Now, that's not to say that NYU and Yale and Juilliard are PERFECT examples of educational utopia. They are not. I am sure that there's plenty of improvements that could be made (especially after reading Seth Godin's inspiring manifesto on education).

At any rate, I think it's important to question the quality of any institution that affects the quality of our lives as directly as school.

Why we do things the way that we do as a society? Is there a better way? Those are important questions for us to consider...especially within the institutions we most believe in.

Will this e-book interest you? It will if you've ever taken a required course in school and thought..."Why the HELL am I required to learn this B%ll$#it?"

Or if you have taken an elective and thought..."Why the HELL isn't THIS a REQUIRED course for alllllll graduates?" (That's how I felt when taking "Personal Financial Management 101" and  (to a lesser degree) "Stress Management 101". BOTH OF THOSE CLASSES SHOULD BE REQUIRED IN ORDER TO GRADUATE. Seriously, with the financial state of our country...and the INSANE amount of anti-stress medication that's prescribed in massive amounts...I mean, seriously...Do I remember a single thing about "Econ 101?" ...NO... However, "Personal Financial Management" literally changed my life. My parents never taught me how to invest or how to maintain a good credit score. BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO THEMSELVES. That class should be required for alllll of the 99% to learn about how the 1% got to BE the 1%!... Just sayin'.)

Anyhoo, I'm only about 1/3 of the way through Seth's e-book right now. (Subway reading on my iPhone.) But it's seriously blowing my mind. I'm including some quotes below...hopefully to spark your interest...and give you an idea of what the book is REALLY about...not just my perception of it.

OMG! Ideas are so awesome. Experiencing new ones that ring super true is soooooo satisfying.

LOL!

Maybe I don't even NEED grad school? Huh? Maybe grad school would actually be COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE to my growth as an artist?

What about THEM ideas?

Blowing. My. Mind.

Question everything,
Virginia

The following quotes are all taken from Seth Godin's Stop Stealing Dreams... Please feel free to share these ideas with anyone you think may benefit by hearing/reading/debating them.

That's how change happens...one conversation at a time.

Chapter 9:  ...the man who industrialized the public schools he created left us with this admonition,…be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.
Unfortunately, that part of his curriculum is almost never taught in school.

Chapter 19: By their nature, dreams are evanescent. They flicker long before they shine brightly. And when creating dreams is more difficult. They’re often related to where we grow up, who our parents are, and whether or not the right person enters our life.
Settling for the not-particularly uplifting dream of a boring, steady job isn’t helpful. Dreaming of being picked—picked to be on TV or picked to play on a team or picked to be lucky—isn’t helpful either. We waste our time and the time of our students when we set them up with pipe dreams that don’t empower them to adapt (or better yet, lead) when the world doesn’t work out as they hope.
The dreams we need are self-reliant dreams. We need dreams based not on what is but on what might be. We need students who can learn how to learn, who can discover how to push themselves.

Chapter 25: Transparency in the traditional school might destroy it. If we told the truth about the irrelevance of various courses, about the relative quality of some teachers, about the power of choice and free speech—could the school as we know it survive?

Chapter 29: There really are only two tools available to the educator. The easy one is fear. Fear is easy to awake, easy to maintain, but ultimately toxic.The other tool is passion. A kid in love with dinosaurs or baseball or earth science is going to learn it on her own. She’s going to push hard for ever more information, and better still, master the thinking behind it.Passion can overcome fear—the fear of losing, of failing, of being ridiculed.The problem is that individual passion is hard to scale—hard to fit into the industrial model. It’s not reliably ignited. It’s certainly harder to create for large masses of people. Sure, it’s easy to get a convention center filled with delegates to chant for a candidate, and easier still to engage the masses at Wembley Stadium, but the passion that fuels dreams and creates change must come from the individual, not from a demigod.

Chapter 33: Can risk-taking be taught? Of course it can. It gets taught by mentors, by parents, by great music teachers, and by life.Why isn’t it being taught every day at that place we send our kids to?Bravery in school is punished, not rewarded. The entire institution is organized around avoiding individual brave acts, and again and again we hear from those who have made a difference, telling us that they became brave despite school, not because of it.

Chapter 35: Greatness is frightening. With it comes responsibility.If you can deny your talents, if you can conceal them from others or, even better, persuade yourself that they weren’t even given to you, you’re off the hook.And being off the hook is a key element of the industrialized school’s promise. It lets parents off the hook, certainly, since the institution takes over the teaching. It lets teachers off the hook, since the curriculum is preordained and the results are tested. And it lets students off the hook, because the road is clearly marked and the map is handed to everyone.If you stay on the path, do your college applications through the guidance office and your job hunting at the placement office, the future is not your fault.That’s the refrain we hear often from frustrated job seekers, frustrated workers with stuck careers, and frustrated students in too much debt. “I did what they told me to do and now I’m stuck and it’s not my fault.” What they’ve exchanged for that deniability is their dreams, their chance for greatness. To go off the path is to claim responsibility for what happens next.

Chapter 36: We demand that students have a trade to fall back on, an assembly-line job available just in case the silly dreams don’t come true. And then, fearing heartbreak, we push them to bury the dream and focus on just the job.

Chapter 44: The Internet is making the role of content gatekeeper unimportant. Redundant. Even wasteful. If there’s information that can be written down, widespread digital access now means that just about anyone can look it up. We don’t need a human being standing next to us to lecture us on how to find the square root of a number or sharpen an axe.(Worth stopping for a second and reconsidering the revolutionary nature of that last sentence.)What we do need is someone to persuade us that we want to learn those things, and someone to push us or encourage us or create a space where we want to learn to do them better.If all the teacher is going to do is read her pre-written notes from a PowerPoint slide to a lecture hall of thirty or three hundred, perhaps she should stay home. Not only is this a horrible disrespect to the student, it’s a complete waste of the heart and soul of the talented teacher.Teaching is no longer about delivering facts that are unavailable in any other format.

If you're into the above...DOWNLOAD THE FREE E-BOOK BY CLICKING HERE.

If you're not into it...delete.

136. Are Monologues The Best Gauge Of Artistic Potential?

“Everyone has the right to doubt everything as often as he pleases and the duty to do it at least once. No way of looking at things is too sacred to be reconsidered. No way of doing things is beyond improvement.” 

― Edward De Bono

During this whole auditioning-for-grad-school process, I've begun to question something about the system we've come to accept as "normal" procedure for applying to acting programs...

Are monologues the best gauge of artistic potential?

I am not a big fan of monologues and I’ve never been particularly “good” at them. I MUCH prefer doing scenes...where you have someone to REACT to.

Monologues are like acting in a vacuum. You can prepare a canned performance that nooooo one else will interrupt with any outside influence what-so-ever, which is why monologues can end up looking so stilted and fake...because it's NOTHING LIKE REAL LIFE.

I mean, when are you ever standing in a room talking to the air?...Maybe you shouldn't answer that.

In past years auditioning for grad school I’ve always had some questions about the logic and effectiveness of the established process of using monologues as the means by which students are selected…I mean, you have to get past the "monologue test" basically, before they’ll actually have a real conversation with you. To me, there's something a little dehumanizing about that reality and it seems counter-productive for the schools too, I think.

I mean, what are they looking for...really? People that are good at making monologues seem spontaneous? People that have the right "look"? Or people that are good at reacting to other actors "in the moment"? People that are good collaborators?  People that have "drive"? What is it?

What is "good acting," for that matter? That's a subjective can of worms isn't it? But let's not go there...Let's stick with the monologue question...

Let's say you are the most brilliant, amazing, incredible young artist/actor/human of allllllll time,...We will call you Barlon Mando... or if you're a girl...Dette Bavis....but you happen to SUCK AT MONOLOGUES!

Well, guess what? You're probably nooooot going to get accepted to grad school for acting. You're probably s#*t-out-of-luck, because the ONLY thing these grad schools are judging you by (to begin with)...are your MONOLOGUES.

(Yet another reason to be super selective about your audition pieces. Don't let yourself get disqualified because of poor monologue selection!!! Pick reeeeeealllly personal monologues for YOU. For more on my philosophy of choosing good monologues CLICK HERE and HERE.)

Monologue Schmonologue...

If given a choice, I'd much prefer to do one two minute monologue and a short three minute interview and have THAT be my audition.

Am I totally off-base here, guys? Are monologues REALLY the best way? Are all of the qualities of a really brilliant actor naturally going to show up in a monologue audition? Will that brilliance shine through, in spite of the awkwardness of the form?

Just sayin'...

I cannot deny that this question's origin has come from my own personal frustration with my past ineptitudocrity at A. CHOOSING GOOD MONOLOGUES FOR MYSELF and B. PERFORMING SAID MONOLOGUES WITH ADEQUATE FACILITY. It's been soooo annoying because I've felt in past auditions like I have so much more I want to communicate than they could ever see through a silly two minute monologues, but I had no outlet with which to do so...'cause I wasn't asked to stay for an interview...or given any sort of "direction" to show that I was flexible in my choices or whatever.

But then again...maybe they saw everything they needed to see and nothing I could have communicated with my own actual words would have changed their perception of me in any way. That is also possible.

Uh-oh, now I'm on a roooooollllll with questions....questions upon questions...

Are these programs looking for the actors that have the most talent to begin with...or are they looking for the actors with the greatest long-term potential? Perhaps it's a combination of both?

Sorry guys...Don't have any answers. But I think it's good to ask questions anyway...Get's ya thinkin' outside the box.

Wadda you think? Are monologues really the best way?

If you were selecting students for an acting program, what would you include in the required application process? What would you be trying to learn about your potential students from these things?

Personally...I'd like to take the students with the biggest hearts first. But how do you test for heart?

Curiously,
Virginia

123. Remember: THEY are auditioning FOR YOU

Sometimes it helps to hear  from a "pro" to really get a proper perspective on a situation...Ms. Laura Linney's thoughts on auditioning...

"I...want to audition the director. I...want the opportunity to be in the room with the producers and the director and get a sense of...Do I want to spend an enormous amount of time with these people?" - Laura Linney, American Theatre Wing interview

True dat.

We often get so caught up in wanting to make a good impression at auditions that we forget to pay attention to our own experience. Same for grad school auditions. I mean, I don't really care how many fabulous alumni there are or how schmancy the school's reputation...Is this the right program for ME? So we must really ask ourselves as we go through the audition process..."Do I really want to spend 3 or 4 YEARS with these people? Are they reeeeeeeallly worthy of my trust or just blowing a lot of hot air? And do I feel good about PAYING THEM A LOT OF MONEY to help shape me as an artist?"

So, as you’re going in for your next audition or your next job interview or whatever, don’t forget to pay attention to these kinds of questions…

“Am I impressed with THEM?”
“Are these the kinds of people I am inspired by and excited to work with?”
“Am I being treated with respect in this process?”

You have a valuable contribution that you bring with you...your talent. They need YOU!

Don’t ignore the signs and signals that your senses are telling you about the total experience at the audition/interview. It is nooooot worth the time for you, if the entire process is going to feel like TORTURE. 

Life is too short to spend it doing stuff you hate...or with people you don't really enjoy working with. Right?

There is always another job out there...lots of them…fun ones…lucrative ones...with fun people…with creative, talented, like-minded folks that will appreciate your contribution to the project and treat you with respect. And if you can't FIND a job like that...then MAKE it yourself...with friends.

Annnnd don't forget that you won't even be AVAILABLE for the awesome jobs…If you’re always taking jobs that you don’t really like. I know it can sometimes seem "smart" to do it for the money or the resume credit or the glory or whatever...and those kinds of jobs can all be stepping-stones to other destinations...I get it...But don't let your soul get sucked out in the process or let yourself lose sight of the prize...the ultimate goal: Getting to do what you love with people you love (and getting paid to do it is nice too)!

And with school…YOU will be paying THEM to attend...Soooooo...

If you want to make sure that you are really going to be happy in that program and feel like you’re spending your time/money/life-energy well…you’d better pay attention to your instincts and listen to your heart. Make sure that school’s got the right philosophy and all the criteria YOU need to give you a good, positive experience…and not just a fancy name and super-famous alumni. 

Imagine how awful it would be to end up paying them a lot of money for a three-year-torturous-experience? No thanks! That's why I like to say "Rejection is God's protection." 

I mean, say you do get accepted...and you go to a school or take a job that you have certain "reservations" about...once you get over the excitement of getting accepted and feeling like “Ooooo! They like me, they really like me”…then you actually have to GO to class EVERY DAY or to rehearsal EVERY DAY…Is that a place that you’re going to look forward to BEING every day, filled with people that you’re going to look forward to being WITH every day?

'Cause this is your LIFE...and you only get to live this one once. And, last time I checked, schmancyness does not equal happiness.

So as you're auditioning...don't forget that HOW they do anything is (most likely) how they’ll do EVERYTHING. In other words...

“Is the audition monitor/greeter friendly?”

“Is the audition well organized?" 

"Are people being respectful of the time and efforts of those auditioning?”

If you are seeing red flags of unkindness, disrespect or disorganization...R.U.N.  

If they’re treating you rudely from the moment you walk through the door at an audition or a job interview…you can BET you’re going to get more of the same throughout the process. We’ve allllll had the experience where we’ve KNOWN that there was something OFF about an audition from moment #1...so DO NOT IGNORE your instincts. YOU ARE RIGHT! It's not worth your time/love/blood/sweat/tears/energy to spend three to four years confirming your suspicions.

Everybody's got their own values that are important to them. I've definitely got my own.

But rather than spending more time on my soap-box, I will pass the torch and use some of my favorite inspirational quotes to illustrate the qualities and attitudes I look for in an ideal creative working environment:

"One’s ability to succeed is always proportional to one’s willingness to fail." – Mike Dooley

"Giving positive reviews requires humility…A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence." – Gretchen Rubin

"To cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life." – Samuel Johnson

"Turns out, many people in supervisory/leadership roles have become so afraid of having to act on edgy ideas and dance with uncertainty, they’ve unintentionally blinded themselves to the existence of the very thing they clamor for." – Jonathan Fields

"My hope was to create a space where we all feel comfortable being open about what we’ve been through and what we’re going through, what we’ve learned and what we’re learning, so we can help ourselves and each other." – Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha

"When people know that they do not know, then people can find their own way." – Tao Te Ching

"Fulfillment doesn’t come from clearing hurdles others set for you; it comes from clearing those you set for yourself.” – Robert S. Kaplan, Reaching Your Potential, Harvard Business Review

"The freedom to make mistakes provides the best environment for creativity.” – Jack Plotnick

"You may want something, work hard to achieve it, and in your process achieve something even greater than your original goal. So don’t get married to what you imagine is the result of your pursuit, just be involved in the pursuit. Besides, you already have a job. Your job is to be a joyful artist. No one can take that away from you…Remember, you don’t know that this job is what’s best for you. Getting this job could actually keep you from getting the wonderful job you were truly meant to get.” – 
Jack Plotnick

"Do you want to know why I have an issue with compromising, economizing and settling for less? I have to work just as hard whether the bar has been lowered or raised…Dream even bigger." – Mike Dooley

"Self-reflect on what your true desires in life are. Keep asking yourself if this is truly your desire or just something you think you out to do. Ask yourself if the desire reflects you in the present or if it is part of an outdated dream…You need to be inspired by your intentions and excited about cooperating. Those attitudes will draw support and help manifest those intentions." – Lena Stevens

"When you are on your death bed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness." – Inspiration and Chai Blog

"Trusting our values is more important to taking action than desiring and striving for certain outcomes." – Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

"Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great." – Mark Twain

Pay attention. Listen. Observe. Ask questions. Follow your heart. You are right.

Grad school is a BIG commitment. Make sure you are evaluating if they are the right fit for YOU.

Loves,

V

111. Help Is On The Way

Listen.

Loves,
V

P.S. Did my non-Shakespeare classical monologue for my friend W. Did it for her a second time. She said the second time was better than the first. How do you get the first time to be just as good as the second? Because I don't get a second try at the audition... Wait a minute... Wrong question... Let me re-frame this... How do I let go of my need for it to be good? That's a better question.

102. Harvard

Question:
Do you feel that in your current career path you are reaching your potential? Or might have the potential to reach your potential?

The reason I ask:
Last week I was reading an article from The Harvard Business Review (for funsies) during my lunch break at work. (LOL! These are the kinds of magazines we have laying around the office...Eat your heart out, People Magazine.) The article is entitled "Reaching Your Potential" by Robert S. Kaplan. You can easily imagine why it caught my eye, since my grad school goals have been motivated by this very concept.

The article is incredibly engaging and insightful. Loved it!!! And I've got to share some gems with you that are absolutely quote-worthy and are sure to excite those inspirational quote junkies out there.

The only context I will give you is that the article was primarily written for a readership that is on a "traditional" corporate business path. However, the concepts related within are universal. So no matter what your career path, you will find something relate-able in the excerpts below.

And without further ado, I shall allow you to enjoy them without any more interruptions from me.

Here's to 2012! And reaching your potential!

Loves,
Virginia

"Fulfillment doesn't come from clearing hurdles others set for you; it comes from clearing those you set for yourself."

"There's nothing anyone can do to prevent you from reaching your potential; the challenge is for you to identify your dream, develop the skills to get there, and exhibit character and leadership. Then, you need to have the courage to periodically reassess, make adjustments, and pursue a course that reflects who you truly are."

"I have seldom seen people hurt their careers by speaking up and appropriately articulating a well-thought-out contrary position (even when it was unpopular). However, I have seen many bitter and confused people who stalled their careers by playing it safe."

"Career Counsel: Follow Your Own Path

1. Managing your career is 100% your responsibility, and you need to act accordingly.  

2. Be wary of conventional wisdom. 

3. Have faith that, although justice may not prevail at any given point in time, it should generally prevail over time."

"Choosing a field you love gives you strength to weather the inevitable setbacks and long hours needed to reach your full potential in any career."

P.S. Don't be confused by the title of this blog post...I'm not applying to Harvard too!!! LOL! (I suppose there's always next year...or maybe not.)

;-)

97. Comfortably Uncomfortable

"An atmosphere of growth brings great happiness, but at the same time, happiness sometimes also comes when you're free from the pressure to see much growth." - Gretchin Rubin, The Happiness Project

I love the feeling of pushing myself to do something outside of my comfort-zone.

I also love the feeling of being comfortable and doing something I know I do well.

How does one strike a balance? As artists, we always want to be challenging ourselves in our work... but how much is too much?

Only YOU can know your own limits...and only YOU can motivate yourself to push beyond them...or not.

And how to do all of this in a self-loving way?...Allowing yourself to be where you're at, yet still maintaining the desire and momentum to grow?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes it is necessary to stop being lazy and get to work... Sometimes it is necessary to stop working and be lazy.

Do what cha gotta do. And be honest with yourself about it.

Can you challenge yourself to do a little bit more today? Or do you need to slow down and do a little bit less?

Both can lead to happiness. Only YOU know which one is right for you in this moment.

Love,
V

"I take no action and people are reformed. I enjoy peace and people become honest. I do nothing and people become rich. If I keep from imposing on people, they become themselves." - 57th Verse, Tao Te Ching

96. Create Yourself

"I love the chemistry that can be created onstage between the actors and the audience. It's molecular even, the energies that can go back and forth. I started in theater. and when I first went into movies I felt that my energy was going to blow out the camera." - Glenn Close

Sooooo my Christmas gift to myself today was to treat myself to a film...a great film. I chose to see Albert Nobbs starring Glenn Close at The Film Society of Lincoln Center. (Though Glenn Close is not a graduate of NYU, Yale or Juilliard...I am happy to feature her on this blog...because...as we all know...one does NOT need to have an MFA from one of these schools to be a great actor.)

Albert Nobbs is an incredibly beautiful film filled with subtle and emotionally resonant performances. I would like to call your attention to one particular scene where Albert Nobbs (a woman who has been passing as a man for 30 years in order to work and survive in 19th century Ireland) is asked a simple question..."What's your real name?"... Watch the clip...Then let's discuss...

Awesome. Isn't Glenn Close brilliant!? Sooooo much going on in that reaction, yet so simple. LOVE it.

This scene got me thinking about the realities we all create for ourselves. She's been living as a man for 30 YEARS!!! That is a looooooong time to be playing a role...so much so that she's BECOME Albert. That's her IDENTITY now. She identifies herself only as Albert, but she is in fact a WOMAN. I love the complexity of that!

And aren't we all complex in that way? Okay, maybe not so much with the gender-bending thing...but in other ways...We identify ourselves with certain labels that we fully believe...because we've created a reality for ourselves where that has become our truth...(ex. I am an actor. I like earl grey tea. I live in Astoria.)

So...what if...in order to survive in 21st century America...I had to completely change my reality, my identity and make myself into somebody else in order to live the life I want to live? Could I give up earl grey tea? Could I give up my identity? Could I move to a different city? Change my name? What kind of trauma would cause me to need to make such changes?

I find all of that fascinating...Mostly because...I feel like I AM doing that...creating my new reality...Only, I'll keep my name and I am not giving up earl grey tea. But I have completely changed the circumstances of where I live and where I work and redefining my identity as an artist...all in the name of survival...creative survival.

The creative direction of my life was NOOOOT leading me in the direction that I wanted to go. So I'm creating a new reality, where I am able to be who I am...who I see myself as...who I am becoming.

I mean, if you felt like who you had become was not working out so well or not making you happy...who's to say you can't change? Become the person you want to become. The person you know you want to be, deep inside. Live as this person...act as this person would act...until you believe it in your core...and love yourself as much as possible...Albert could probably stand to throw in a little more self-loving, I think. But, man, she's super brave for transforming herself and recreating her life on her own terms.

She knows who she is... because she's created herself. She is Albert.

I think that's courageous. Courage is what I see when I watch the clip above. But like with any great performance...you may see something completely different reflected back at you.

Thoughts? Care to share? Disagree with me? Would love to hear other perspectives. Comments are always welcome below.

Loves,
V

P.S. Merry Christmas!

P.P.S. Submitted my NYU application and scheduled my audition for 9am on Sunday, January 22nd. Yay!!!

P.P.P.S. Only one more application left to complete...Yale. That's next on the agenda...Last, but not least. :-)

92. For Your Consideration

When evaluating a thought or action, ask yourself this question:

Does this come from a place of LOVE or a place of FEAR?

Love = Keep going with that

Fear = Let that go and get back to LOVE

Hugs,
V

65. Powerful Questions

"The questions you have to answer pertain to what, where, when and WHY. Mine pertain to how and with whom. When you know the end result, I always know the fastest way." - The Universe

Working on my personal statement today... In my comfy writing-space at home with a cup of tea and the sunshine coming through the windows and all my papers and notes scattered about me on the futon.

I am enjoying some of the questions that have come up as I've been brain-storming and journaling and exploring what I really want to say with this personal statement for my Juilliard application.

I seriously love a good, hard-core, no-nonsense, well-stated question.

I'm so grateful to have the opportunity and motivation to reflect on these life-direction types of questions. I think they are important to ask ourselves from time to time... just to check-in and make sure that our daily actions are in-tune with what our own unique hearts REALLY value.

Below are my questions... and "my answers"... Which are in no way "your answers"... As you know, you've got your own answers inside of you. So please keep in mind while reading below... that I am simply exploring these ideas and none of these answers are meant to be etched in stone (not even for myself). Ask me these same questions tomorrow and you'll get a whole new set of "answers"... none of which are wrong... none of which are right.

:-p

Just asking the question and being open to listening for the universe to bring you an answer is a step in the right direction.

"And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you." - Luke 11:9, The Bible: New Living Translation

Enjoy living in the questions...

Q: What job would your pay someone to let you do?
A: Do that.... If you aren't doing that now, do one small thing today to move yourself in the direction of doing that. You will be happy with yourself when you do.

Q: What is stopping you from becoming your "dream come true" right now?
A: Don't use FEAR of anything as an excuse... Run as fast as you can toward conquering that fear. Ask for help from experts when you need it.

Q: If you become like those you are with, who are you with that you want to become like?
A: Seek out people who inspire you and spend time with them. Learn from them. Don't waste your time on people that you don't enjoy.

Q: What is your measure of success?
A: Define it. Make it quantifiable in some way. That's the only way you'll know when you've reached it.

Q: What stories inspire you?
A: I like "rags to riches" stories. I like "overcoming the odds" stories. I like stories of successful entrepreneurs who experienced years of failure to finally rise from the ashes and do great things. I like stories of ordinary people accomplishing extraordinary things. I like stories of people who don't wait around to be saved, but choose to save themselves and help others save themselves in the process. I like funny stories that make you cry. I like stories about change... changed hearts, changed minds, changed bodies and souls.

Q: How do you see your art connecting to the world?
A: I will answer this question with another question... "What is the universal truth in this?"... I am CONSTANTLY asking myself that question, unconsciously and consciously... Especially in writing, but in acting as well... What do I mean, exactly? Well... For example, you could be doing a scene about eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich... but what's REALLY going on in that scene?... What is it that's humanly universal about the experience of eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Which universal truth are we trying to communicate?....  Is is about satisfying a craving? Is is about nostalgically reliving a familiar childhood experience? Is it a suicidal death-wish because you are allergic to peanut butter?

THAT is what I love about art. It can be interpreted a million different ways, by both the artist and the audience. So that's how I'd like my art to connect to the world... I would like to be a skillful enough artist to make specific circumstances and unique personal experiences feel universal through sharing my creative point-of-view. That's my idea of fun. That's how I'd like to create more empathy and connection between humans. I truly believe that's the kind of art that changes the world. Because empathy leads to new ways of thinking, which leads to new ways of reacting and eventually motivates pro-action... for the betterment and benefit of ALL people... if I have anything to do with it... and I will... and I do. And so do you!

We are all participating in artfully creating this world. So the best question is... What do you have to contribute to this art project called life? Our society, our world needs you... so GIVE what you most love to give. It will be appreciated by someone.

"One's destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things." - Henry Miller

Always in process,
Virginia

64. Don't Know Mind

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on things you have long taken for granted." - Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician, author, Nobel laureate (1872-1970)

The more I know, the more I know that I don't know.

And even things that I've learned before... I'm constantly re-learning over and over and over again.

I like to think of learning as an upward spiral rather than a straight line. Every time I learn a lesson and move up the spiral it still comes back around to the same questions, just at a slightly higher level.

Or sometimes not.

Re-learning things all the time can get frustrating, but I've begun to accept it as a part of my process and try not to beat myself up about it when I realize it's happened... again.

I like to try to cultivate something called "don't know mind," to take some of the pressure off of myself for not knowing things.

"A true "don't know mind" leaves a lot of room for your intentions to manifest in interesting and wonderful ways. When you commit to something 100%, without the need to know how you will get there, the universe will begin to weave it creatively into the physical world." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I find that when I release my attachment to knowing... that I am happier... I am more open. I learn faster and ultimately... questions are answered on their own time and in ways that I couldn't have foreseen anyway.

Some people use phrases like... "Let it go" or "It's all good" to help themselves release their attachments to things that they cannot control.

I like to say "Don't know."  ~ with a smile and a shrug~

And the more I practice not knowing... the easier it is for me not to know things. And HOPEFULLY, some day, I will get sooooo good at it that I won't know anything anymore.

That'd RULE!

I mean, who really KNOWS anything anyway? Ya know?

Life's gonna happen...whether I KNOW it or not,
Virginia

"The way of illumination seems dark,
going forward seems like retreat,
the easy way seems hard,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest art seems unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish."
- Lao Tsu, 41st Verse of the Tao Te Ching, Taken from Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer

59. Juilliard Personal Statement Draft

"The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or a new thing in an old way." - Richard Harding Davis, journalist and author (1864 - 1916)

Soooo I'm in West Palm Beach, FL right now... on a business trip for my "day-job."  Tough life, right?

It's beeeeeautiful here. And between doing all my job-related duties, I've been resting and taking some time to do a few things that I lovvve... like staring out at the unending horizon of the Atlantic Ocean and breathing in the smell of the sea salt or taking a luxurious bubble-bath in the ginormous hotel bath tub.

I love water. Baths seriously rule. There is nothing like the soothing feeling of warm water and the smell of super yummy fragrant suds. Very healing after a couple of very stressful/busy weeks.

Relaxing a bit is good.

Annnnd... I set myself a "grad-school-application-prep-goal" for the weekend too... I want to write-up the first draft of my Juilliard Personal Statement, which is due (along with the rest of the online application) on Dec 1st.

Hopefully, with the inspiration of being surrounded by so much beauty, comfort and H20... I will be able to come up with two pages, double-spaced in a 12-point font.

It's funny... I write about my creative process and reasons I want to go to grad school six days a week on this blog... so you'd think that I'd be like... "Personal statement? No problem!"

But I'm actually rather intimidated by the prospect of narrowing all of my millions of thoughts/feelings/ideas/reasons/motivations/inspirations for this whole grad school endeavor down into two simple pages.

I want to tell my story in a compelling and concise way. So I've got to be selective about what I chose to include. I can't tell them EVERYTHING about me. So what are the most important thing(s) that they should know about me and my story?

There are sooooo many different angles I could take. I could write 20 different personal statements and they all would be 100% TRUE, but still only a small snapshot of WHY I am making this choice of applying to grad school for the third time.

So what's the best picture to paint?

Here's what I do know for SURE... I definitely want to write about the blog and how overcoming my fear of being publicly transparent about my creative process has helped me grow as a person.

So that's that... but there are million different WAYS for me to tell that story and many different personal examples I could include... ya da, ya da.

So this is where yooooou come in...

What do you think is the best way to spin my story? You guys have been reading the blog and following my process and being believing mirrors, supporting me since I started this project back in September... and before. So I feel like you are all incredibly qualified to weighing-in on this particular subject of what best to include in my personal statement.

Need some structure to hang your thoughts on? How 'bout this...

Juilliard spells out their "Criteria for Acceptance" on the website. In auditioning and interviewing potential students, the Drama faculty looks especially for the following qualities:

• A serious commitment to an acting career in the professional theater 
• A potential for meeting the technical standards of Juilliard’s professional training program 
• A potential for vital, individualistic, trainable growth—regarded as more important than the applicant’s present state of technical accomplishment 
• Energy, openness of mind, enthusiasm, and a readiness to take risks 
• A body, voice, and imaginative/emotional powers promising significant dramatic development 
• A potential for identification with the thought process of a text 
• A generosity of spirit essential to ensemble playing 
• A sense of humor, a sense of language, a sense of rhythm, and a capacity for sustained concentration 
• A readiness for hard, rigorous work 
• All applicants must be completely fluent in written and spoken English.

That's who I want to BE!!!!

And...here are Juilliard's guidelines for writing the Personal Statement Essay:

Juilliard’s Admissions Committee uses your essay to learn more about you as an individual, and gain a sense of who you are beyond your application, transcript and audition. Please write about why you have chosen to become an actor and your personal artistic goals. We encourage you to write frankly and openly about your life, your connection to your art, and how you see your art connecting to the world. Share your passion about people or politics or other art forms or about anything that speaks to you.

So what comes to mind about Virginia Wilcox when you read all that? Any ideas sparking from anything you've read in a previous post or a conversation that we've had?

Ultimately, I know that it's going to be ME who's going to write the thing... But I am very interested in your perspective, because I feel like we're not always the best judge of our own best stories.

If you want to go the extra mile and be really super OVER-ACHIEVING... You can click on the "Personal Statement(s)" tab on the AcceptanceProject home page and gather some context from reading my two past personal statements for NYU. Then you can flaunt your knowledge by posting a incredibly insightful suggestion for possible inclusion in this year's statement in the comments at the bottom of this post.

Yes, you can help shape this girl's future success, by your participation with this blog! How cool is that?

I mean... if you were on the audition panel at Juilliard, choosing which students would be accepted to your program, and you read an essay by this blog-writing-failed-twice-but-won't-give-up-Virginia-Wilcox-actor-person... What about her would make you sit-up and take notice and motivate you to want to help her succeed as an actor soooooo much that you'd be overjoyed to take her on and work closely with her for the next four years to help mentor her into the best possible artistic collaborator she can be?

THAT's the essay I want to write.

Send me your thoughts, peeps! Let's get this draft goin'!!!

Loves,

Virginia

"The storylines we create around a particular circumstance are far more determinative of success than the circumstance itself. They affect not only our willingness to act, but the quality of our ideas and solutions." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

  

52. Annnnnnd... ACTION!

"Wishing doesn't make it so; making it so makes it so." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Gooood morning, people!

Had a monologue coaching appointment with Kathryn Bild yesterday. She and I hadn't met in a while. After we chatted it up a bit about what I had been up to recently and about the blog... then she asked me... point blank... "So what have you actually been DOING for your ACTING lately?"

Called OUT! Yikes!

Thankfully, I had been DOING some acting lately (my on-camera class and some voiceover training), so I had a couple things to talk about... Whew!

But it got me to thinking... What good is all this talking and blogging about the creative process of an actor if I am not actually DOING any acting?

Don't get me wrong! I am not going to stop with the AcceptanceProject. I am committed to finishing my 180 blog posts. Trust and believe.

But it was an important reminder for me to note that THINKING about acting is not acting. TALKING about acting is not acting. And WRITING about acting is not acting. Though I have found value in all of those things.

ACTING is acting.

And I think it's important to find a balance. I want to make sure that my thoughts and motives are in alignment with my values as an artist/human... which become clearer to me by thinking, talking and writing... but when it comes to getting into the thick of really learning about how to be a better actor... well, the only way to learn it is to take action and ACT.

Sooooooo, I thought I'd share with you all one of my favorite blog posts written on the subject of ACTION. (Anyone sensing the irony here?)

;-)

Anyway, why reinvent the wheel and try to write something brilliant about action... when it's already been done?

Below is a guest post by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits (naturally).

Enjoy!... But don't just READaboudit... take ACTION!

Love,
V

The Little Rules of Action

“The shortest answer is doing.” - Lord Herbert

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Too often we get stuck in inaction — the quagmire of doubt and perfectionism and distractions and planning that stops us from moving forward.

And while I’m no proponent of a whirling buzz of activity, I also believe people get lost in the distractions of the world and lose sight of what’s important, and how to actually accomplish their Something Amazing.

And so today I’d like to humbly present a few little rules of action — just some small reminders, things I’ve found useful but by no means invented, common-sense stuff that is often not common enough.

1. Don’t overthink. Too much thinking often results in getting stuck, in going in circles. Some thinking is good — it’s good to have a clear picture of where you’re going or why you’re doing this — but don’t get stuck thinking. Just do.
2. Just start. All the planning in the world will get you nowhere. You need to take that first step, no matter how small or how shaky. My rule for motivating myself to run is: Just lace up your shoes and get out the door. The rest takes care of itself.
3. Forget perfection. Perfectionism is the enemy of action. Kill it, immediately. You can’t let perfect stop you from doing. You can turn a bad draft into a good one, but you can’t turn no draft into a good draft. So get going.
4. Don’t mistake motion for action. A common mistake. A fury of activity doesn’t mean you’re doing anything. When you find yourself moving too quickly, doing too many things at once, this is a good reminder to stop. Slow down. Focus.
5. Focus on the important actions. Clear the distractions. Pick the one most important thing you must do today, and focus on that. Exclusively. When you’re done with that, repeat the process.
6. Move slowly, consciously. Be deliberate. Action doesn’t need to be done fast. In fact, that often leads to mistakes, and while perfection isn’t at all necessary, neither is making a ridiculous amount of mistakes that could be avoided with a bit of consciousness.
7. Take small steps. Biting off more than you can chew will kill the action. Maybe because of choking, I dunno. But small steps always works. Little tiny blows that will eventually break down that mountain. And each step is a victory, that will compel you to further victories.
8. Negative thinking gets you nowhere. Seriously, stop doing that. Self doubt? The urge to quit? Telling yourself that it’s OK to be distracted and that you can always get to it later? Squash those thoughts. Well, OK, you can be distracted for a little bit, but you get the idea. Positive thinking, as corny as it sounds, really works. It’s self-talk, and what we tell ourselves has a funny habit of turning into reality.
9. Meetings aren’t action. This is a common mistake in management. They hold meetings to get things done. Meetings, unfortunately, almost always get in the way of actual doing. Stop holding those meetings!
10. Talking (usually) isn’t action. Well, unless the action you need to take is a presentation or speech or something. Or you’re a television broadcaster. But usually, talking is just talking. Communication is necessary, but don’t mistake it for actual action.
11. Planning isn’t action. Sure, you need to plan. Do it, so you’re clear about what you’re doing. Just do it quickly, and get to the actual action as quickly as you can.
12. Reading about it isn’t action. You’re reading an article about action. Ironic, I know. But let this be the last one. Now get to work!
13. Sometimes, inaction is better. This might be the most ironic thing on the list, but really, if you find yourself spinning your wheels, or you find you’re doing more harm than good, rethink whether the action is even necessary. Or better yet, do this from the beginning — is it necessary? Only do the action if it is.

“Talk doesn’t cook rice.” - Chinese Proverb

(Thanks, Leo! ... Don't you just LOVE him!?)

 

37. Uncertainty

"Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it's all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn't happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative. When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Knowing things = so overrated... Moving forward anyway?... Priceless.

Chew on that with your Monday morning coffee.

Loves,
V

“To know that you do not know is the best.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

30. Become Your Dream

“I want to go on talking to you as freely and intimately about what we live and die for as if I knew you better than anyone else whom you know.” – Tennessee Williams

Sooo last week on Sunday I gave you a homework assignment that I told you NOT TO THINK ABOUT all week long. I know that was a tough assignment, but I believe in you and your ability to follow through with this one. LOL!

(If you are just joining us this week, CLICK HERE to see post #24 from last Sunday.) 

Okay, so… back to the question in question…

On a fine summer’s day in Central Park, while sitting on an ancient rock, surrounded by supportive friends almost three years ago, with my Artist’s Way group, … I asked myself this question... and the answer slowly began to transform the trajectory of my life.

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

A: (My answer to myself) What would I do??? 

I would earn an MFA in acting from one of the top drama programs in the country.

This may not be “new news” to you now. You probably could have guessed my answer after reading all this process/grad-school-obsessed blogging that shows up in your inbox every day (except Friday). But for me, three years ago, this was profoundly “new news.” … And being that I had NEVER auditioned for ANY schmancy drama schools before (my undergrad degree is in History), I was thoroughly overwhelmed and terrified by the prospect.

So the first person that had to stop telling me that I couldn’t do it… was ME. 

I think I was the most difficult person to convince… for sure. And it wasn’t an ACTIVE process. It was just like this week’s homework assignment… me NOT thinking about it for years, just letting it sit on the back-burner and simmer… until I finally sat down on that rock in Central Park one day and admitted to myself that this scary-thing-that-I-had-never-done-and-would-probably-fail-at was the one thing that I really wanted to do. 

I had to find a way to get over my fear and go for it… but HOW?

Rewind..

So, I knew what I wanted... Great.

And, after a while, I had built up enough confidence that I could actually tell myself (fairly believably) that it could be possible for me to have it... Great.

But HOW to make it happen? Ugh. So far to gooooo! So many things to DO. Bleh! Overwhelming!!!... Maybe I should go watch TV and eat microwave popcorn? NO!!!!

This is my "HOW"...That I slowly learned over-time works best for me... I focus on one thing… TODAY. 

Today is my focus. Right now. Today.

What is one TINY, EASY, NOT-OVERWHELMING thing that I can do TODAY to move a millimeter closer to becoming my dream? I don’t want to freak myself out by doing anything too BIG… So by doing something SMALL, I am ensuring that I am actually doing SOMETHING.

And many, many small somethings, done consistently every day, lead to large, awesome, successful outcomes that don’t feel like they’ve been so HARD to achieve after all. Easy. I can do easy.

"In baseball, my theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted, if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end." - Tom Seaver

So in a nutshell… that’s my way, my process, my practice...

Do it small. Do it daily... That’s how I roll.

“You can relax about your acting career. You are giving it attention and focus every day. You cannot fail to progress.” – Unknown…  (Maybe Kathryn Bild said it? Sounds like something she’d say.)

And it all started with a question, a powerful question…

So, back to the homework... I am posing this question for YOU again. And this time I want you to think about it and DO the following:

1. Ask yourself the question and listen for the answer without judgment. The first thing that comes into your mind is often the most honest answer. So go with your gut. (This may be the hard part… Example: “Ugh, my gut… We are estranged. We hardly speak… How can I know the mind of my gut?” …. Shhhhhh. Breathe. Listen. Be patient. It may not answer today, but it WILL answer.)
2. Tell what your gut says. Admit it. (This may also be the hard part… Example: “Ok, I clearly hear what my gut has been trying to say… But I really don’t want to repeat my gut’s message because… [insert your own fear-based excuse/justification here].” …. Breathe. Feel the fear. It’s great! That’s how you know you’re on the right track.) 
3. DO something about it TODAY. (Don’t let fear keep you paralyzed. Fear-Schmere!!! Excuses-Schmecsuses!!! Do the smallest thing you can handle in this moment to move towards becoming your dream, even if that thing is NOT THINKING ABOUT IT for another week/month/2-years. What is the one tiny thing that you will do TODAY to move one step closer to becoming your dream? Think EASY... Right... Good.... No...wait... even EASIER than that.... The thing that's so easy that you cannot possibly come up with an excuse for not doing it... That's forward motion.) 

Get ready... Here it is... Your question...

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

Think... Think... Think...

Let me know you’re out there. It can’t be a conversation unless you participate. Your perspective is valuable and your words are more powerful than you know. Take your soap box and stand on it. Here… (She brushes off the soap box with a smile.) You can borrow mine! Let your voice be heard for posterity by commenting on the blog page. If you're reading this by email or FB you can comment on the blog page by CLICKING HERE. 

Don't want to freak you out tooo much... but people do read these comments, ya know. Show yourself how freakin’ courageous and ballsy you are… and hit me with your thoughts RIGHT NOW. To comment or not to comment... Up to you. 

My guts = spilled... Your turn!!! :-)

Yours,

Virginia

"The thing about making it big, and doing it fast, is that invariably the first steps will be small and slow. Which oddly, for many, is the same reason they don't take them." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

 P.S. If you’ve read this far… You definitely deserve a gold-star for commitment. Gold-star for YOU!!!!

24. Questions I Like to Ask Myself…

“A true “don’t know mind” leaves a lot of room for your intentions to manifest in interesting and wonderful ways. When you commit to something 100%, without the need to know how you will get there, the universe will begin to weave it creatively into the physical world.” – Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I’m a big believer in the power of asking good questions.  There is soooo much information to be gained in the asking of a really great question. Coming up with a good question can take courage, insight, awareness and sometimes research.

But the BEST questions are really the simplest ones… and, oftentimes, have the most complex answers… because they can lead to more beautiful, revealing, scary, awesome questions. These are the questions that really need to be asked.

When I ask myself a question, I try not to have an attachment to the answer. I like to leave it open for a while… To relish in the asking and let the universe do the talking. I let it simmer on the back-burner of my mind.

In other words, I won’t ACTIVELY be thinking about it, but just let the question sit in my subconscious for a while. I trust that if I don’t muscle or force it, if I just patiently allow it to come…something will eventually pop into my head as a result of my asking. And… inevitably something always does… and sometimes this something bears a strong resemblance to a… ~gasp~ … “answer.” Shocking!

Warning: Homework Assignment Below…

So here’s a question that I loooooove, it’s one that definitely influenced the creation of this blog and my decision to apply for schmancy drama schools like Juilliard, NYU and Yale.

Now… adjust your brain to simmer. And ask yourself…

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

Don't think about it... seriously. Just simmer. Get back to me in a week. I’ll check-in with ya’ll about it next Sunday and we can share about what comes up.

Become your own dream come true.

Answers-schmancers,

Virginia

“Thoughts become things.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

19. Test Your Passion

“First, choose from the options that thrill you. Then, choose the ones that also teach you. And from those, choose the scariest. Butterflies in your tummy are good.”  – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

So yesterday was a crazy-whirlwind day of meeting new people, being present in the moment (as often as possible) and swallowing my fear when I felt called to share with folks about the Acceptance Project.  I think it was a bit much for me, actually… it was a lot… I am exhausted. 

Too much, too fast, perhaps? I found myself getting a little overwhelmed with it all and ended up letting some self-doubting and self-sabotaging thoughts hang-out in my head for longer than I’d like. (Their echos are still kinda boppin’ around in there.)

“You knew there’d be things that would rattle your cage, push your buttons, and rock your boat. These would remind you that there’s still more to know.”  – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

Even if I’m not necessarily doing things “right” when it comes to this blog or in life in general… I KNOW that my pursuit of an MFA in Acting is “right” for me and THAT’s what matters.  I can feel good about WHY I am pursuing this dream, but HOW it’s all unfolding… well, that’s what I am letting go of daily… I want to allow it all to happen naturally.

This was one thing that helped to kick-start my recovery back into feeling-good-about-what-I-am-doing-mode…

Click Here: No Regrets Career Academy

Jennifer Gresham is a PhD biochemist, a blogger, a teacher and an award-winning poet. She has created an online-course to help people find their passion. She’s a scientist, so everything is very clearly laid out and quantifiable… which I LOVE!  If you are exploring that part of your journey right now, I highly recommend taking some time to check out her site. I signed up on her email list and was thrilled to receive at free 30 minute web-video where she explains the foundations of her method of self-discovery and asks a lot of GREAT questions.

Exploring her methodology was super encouraging for me in the pursuit of my passion, because it reinforced for me that I am on the right path! These are some of the questions she brings up… What kinds of actions cause me to feel pride in myself? What are my core values? What are the intrinsic and extrinsic motivations in my potential career? What is my definition of success?

Will a life as a professional actor be in alignment with my answers to the questions above? YES is the answer! Yes. Yes. Yes. Annnnd it gives me that fire-in-me-belly feeling! I am doing the right thing. I am moving in the right direction. And yes, sometimes it’s uncomfortable and scary, but … according to Jennifer Gresham’s tools, my passion has passed the test!

Eureka! 

Passion FOUND. Whew!

Check that one off of the to-do list.

Now, if I could only get rid of this instinctive need to apologize about it all the time. It’s weird. Why do I feel the need to be like… “Oh, sorry I’m doing this selfish thing of pursuing my dream. Hope you don’t mind.” 

So illogical. So unnecessary.

“Do you really need someone else’s permission, acceptance, wink or nod, or are you ready to give these to yourself, now?” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

It's my life, after all. Feel the fear and do it anyway, Wilcox! 

Thank you for reading, beautiful people. Go after your dreams!

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

Sending you all big Monday love… in hopes that Monday (or whatever day is the start of your “work-week”) is your FAVORITE day of the week.

Loves,

Virginia

“Create your own dream job.” – Leo Baubauta, Zen Habits

P.S. For other posts about "finding your passion" go to... #9 & #10.