62. Water Break

"I'm shifting gears professionally.... I'm beginning to focus intensely on where I've succeed and failed in 2011 and what I want to build in 2012 and beyond. While I've accomplished some great things this year, I know I've also dropped a lot of balls and not come close to what I'm capable of creating in the world." - Jonathan Fields 

I'm still germinating on the whole "personal statement" idea before actually setting pen to paper... or fingers to keys (as the case may be). Maybe I'll get to an actual "draft" on the plane this afternoon. 

Planes always make me sentimental and self-reflective. Something about flying and looking down at the ground beneath the clouds. Thinking about all the lives that are being lived as we pass over in the air... There's something profound about that experience.

Anyway... I've gotten some great feedback and suggestions regarding my personal statement from several wonderful readers/friends/supportive souls. So thank you to all of you that took the time to write me a response to post #59.

I am packing-up everything from this business trip in Florida now and will soon be getting back to the "real world" in New York. Florida has been a welcome change of pace and there have been several moments for reflection on this trip... which I am very grateful for.

November has been an unusually unfocused month for me... Tons of stuff going on... Difficult to clear my mind of extraneous thought to focus on one thing: writing this personal statement for Juilliard. 

But that's where I am at. And that's okay. It's real. It's honest.

And I am hoping that today, I will be able to clear a space in my head for these thoughts and ideas to coalesce into form. But, these things will happen on their own time and forcing it neeeeeeever works out well for me.

So, for now, I will take my cues from the ocean: I will go with the flow. I will let the tide of creative inspiration pull me when it will. And hopefully, the result will be a personal statement that is deep and clear, just like the blue ocean water that continuously, persistently and beautifully writes in seafoam on the shore.

Love to you all,

Virginia

"Look, and it can't be seen.
Listen, and it can't be heard.
Reach, and it can't be grasped... 

You can't know it, but you can be it,
at ease in your own life.
Just realize where you come from:
this is the essence of wisdom."- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching - Chapter 14 (translated by Stephen Mitchell)

 

30. Become Your Dream

“I want to go on talking to you as freely and intimately about what we live and die for as if I knew you better than anyone else whom you know.” – Tennessee Williams

Sooo last week on Sunday I gave you a homework assignment that I told you NOT TO THINK ABOUT all week long. I know that was a tough assignment, but I believe in you and your ability to follow through with this one. LOL!

(If you are just joining us this week, CLICK HERE to see post #24 from last Sunday.) 

Okay, so… back to the question in question…

On a fine summer’s day in Central Park, while sitting on an ancient rock, surrounded by supportive friends almost three years ago, with my Artist’s Way group, … I asked myself this question... and the answer slowly began to transform the trajectory of my life.

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

A: (My answer to myself) What would I do??? 

I would earn an MFA in acting from one of the top drama programs in the country.

This may not be “new news” to you now. You probably could have guessed my answer after reading all this process/grad-school-obsessed blogging that shows up in your inbox every day (except Friday). But for me, three years ago, this was profoundly “new news.” … And being that I had NEVER auditioned for ANY schmancy drama schools before (my undergrad degree is in History), I was thoroughly overwhelmed and terrified by the prospect.

So the first person that had to stop telling me that I couldn’t do it… was ME. 

I think I was the most difficult person to convince… for sure. And it wasn’t an ACTIVE process. It was just like this week’s homework assignment… me NOT thinking about it for years, just letting it sit on the back-burner and simmer… until I finally sat down on that rock in Central Park one day and admitted to myself that this scary-thing-that-I-had-never-done-and-would-probably-fail-at was the one thing that I really wanted to do. 

I had to find a way to get over my fear and go for it… but HOW?

Rewind..

So, I knew what I wanted... Great.

And, after a while, I had built up enough confidence that I could actually tell myself (fairly believably) that it could be possible for me to have it... Great.

But HOW to make it happen? Ugh. So far to gooooo! So many things to DO. Bleh! Overwhelming!!!... Maybe I should go watch TV and eat microwave popcorn? NO!!!!

This is my "HOW"...That I slowly learned over-time works best for me... I focus on one thing… TODAY. 

Today is my focus. Right now. Today.

What is one TINY, EASY, NOT-OVERWHELMING thing that I can do TODAY to move a millimeter closer to becoming my dream? I don’t want to freak myself out by doing anything too BIG… So by doing something SMALL, I am ensuring that I am actually doing SOMETHING.

And many, many small somethings, done consistently every day, lead to large, awesome, successful outcomes that don’t feel like they’ve been so HARD to achieve after all. Easy. I can do easy.

"In baseball, my theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted, if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end." - Tom Seaver

So in a nutshell… that’s my way, my process, my practice...

Do it small. Do it daily... That’s how I roll.

“You can relax about your acting career. You are giving it attention and focus every day. You cannot fail to progress.” – Unknown…  (Maybe Kathryn Bild said it? Sounds like something she’d say.)

And it all started with a question, a powerful question…

So, back to the homework... I am posing this question for YOU again. And this time I want you to think about it and DO the following:

1. Ask yourself the question and listen for the answer without judgment. The first thing that comes into your mind is often the most honest answer. So go with your gut. (This may be the hard part… Example: “Ugh, my gut… We are estranged. We hardly speak… How can I know the mind of my gut?” …. Shhhhhh. Breathe. Listen. Be patient. It may not answer today, but it WILL answer.)
2. Tell what your gut says. Admit it. (This may also be the hard part… Example: “Ok, I clearly hear what my gut has been trying to say… But I really don’t want to repeat my gut’s message because… [insert your own fear-based excuse/justification here].” …. Breathe. Feel the fear. It’s great! That’s how you know you’re on the right track.) 
3. DO something about it TODAY. (Don’t let fear keep you paralyzed. Fear-Schmere!!! Excuses-Schmecsuses!!! Do the smallest thing you can handle in this moment to move towards becoming your dream, even if that thing is NOT THINKING ABOUT IT for another week/month/2-years. What is the one tiny thing that you will do TODAY to move one step closer to becoming your dream? Think EASY... Right... Good.... No...wait... even EASIER than that.... The thing that's so easy that you cannot possibly come up with an excuse for not doing it... That's forward motion.) 

Get ready... Here it is... Your question...

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

Think... Think... Think...

Let me know you’re out there. It can’t be a conversation unless you participate. Your perspective is valuable and your words are more powerful than you know. Take your soap box and stand on it. Here… (She brushes off the soap box with a smile.) You can borrow mine! Let your voice be heard for posterity by commenting on the blog page. If you're reading this by email or FB you can comment on the blog page by CLICKING HERE. 

Don't want to freak you out tooo much... but people do read these comments, ya know. Show yourself how freakin’ courageous and ballsy you are… and hit me with your thoughts RIGHT NOW. To comment or not to comment... Up to you. 

My guts = spilled... Your turn!!! :-)

Yours,

Virginia

"The thing about making it big, and doing it fast, is that invariably the first steps will be small and slow. Which oddly, for many, is the same reason they don't take them." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

 P.S. If you’ve read this far… You definitely deserve a gold-star for commitment. Gold-star for YOU!!!!

24. Questions I Like to Ask Myself…

“A true “don’t know mind” leaves a lot of room for your intentions to manifest in interesting and wonderful ways. When you commit to something 100%, without the need to know how you will get there, the universe will begin to weave it creatively into the physical world.” – Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I’m a big believer in the power of asking good questions.  There is soooo much information to be gained in the asking of a really great question. Coming up with a good question can take courage, insight, awareness and sometimes research.

But the BEST questions are really the simplest ones… and, oftentimes, have the most complex answers… because they can lead to more beautiful, revealing, scary, awesome questions. These are the questions that really need to be asked.

When I ask myself a question, I try not to have an attachment to the answer. I like to leave it open for a while… To relish in the asking and let the universe do the talking. I let it simmer on the back-burner of my mind.

In other words, I won’t ACTIVELY be thinking about it, but just let the question sit in my subconscious for a while. I trust that if I don’t muscle or force it, if I just patiently allow it to come…something will eventually pop into my head as a result of my asking. And… inevitably something always does… and sometimes this something bears a strong resemblance to a… ~gasp~ … “answer.” Shocking!

Warning: Homework Assignment Below…

So here’s a question that I loooooove, it’s one that definitely influenced the creation of this blog and my decision to apply for schmancy drama schools like Juilliard, NYU and Yale.

Now… adjust your brain to simmer. And ask yourself…

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

Don't think about it... seriously. Just simmer. Get back to me in a week. I’ll check-in with ya’ll about it next Sunday and we can share about what comes up.

Become your own dream come true.

Answers-schmancers,

Virginia

“Thoughts become things.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe