83. The Flinch

"Change is easy in principle and hard in practice" - Julien Smith, The Flinch 

In order to implement real change in your life you have to learn how to deal with "The Flinch."

flinch: /flinCH/ - verb (used without object)
1. to draw back or shrink, as from what is dangerous, difficult, or unpleasant.
2. to shrink under pain; wince.

This ingrained flinch mechanism is often keeping us from living our dreams. We are unconsciously resisting the very changes we profess that we want in our lives.

First: You've got to become aware of the flinch. (It shows up in different ways for everyone.)

Second: You can take steps to train yourself to feel the flinch and still take action to overcome your fear. (One moment at a time.)

Third: You can get so practiced at dealing with your flinch, that you hardly notice it anymore. (FEARLESS!)

If any of the above intrigues you and you want to learn MORE, I highly recommend to you the following FREE resource:

The Flinch by Julien Smith (Available for free download with the Kindle and the Kindle app. Published by Seth Godin's The Domino Project.)

I don't have a Kindle. I just downloaded the Kindle app to my iPhone and now I've got The Flinch on my phone. It's my subway reading right now... and I am in LOVE with it! Had to share.

Download it! Read! Did I mention it's FREE? Don't put it off. You know you'll forget to do it later and it'll never happen and you'll have passed up an amazing book that could actually change your life. So do it NOW!

<CLICK HERE>

Let me know what you think.

If this whole MFA-in-Acting thing doesn't work out... I think I'll just get an MFA-in-Overcoming-Fear.

LOL! Actually... for me... that's pretty much the same degree.

;-p

What are you afraid of?

Get over it,
Virginia

P.S. A big THANK YOU shout-out to Jonathan Fields for his posting about The Flinch. Wouldn't have known about it without Jonathan! Check out his blog and his book Uncertainty. He's a gem.

"The truth is that judgment and fear will never stop, but they don't actually do anything. There are no negative consequences for breaking the habit of flinching. Nothing will actually happen if you stop being afraid. You're free." - Julien Smith

 

40. Thoughts Become Things

"Most people have been brainwashed into believing that their job is to copyedit the world, not to design it." - Seth Godin

Will Smith is my MAN!!! What an inspiration! Take 10 minutes of you life to watch this video. He has some brilliant things to say...

"You want something. Go get it. Period." ... I LOVE THAT!!!

"He who says he can and he who says he can't are both usually right." - Confucius

Protect your dream, people. Don't be "realistic." That's boring. Go for it!!!! Keep to your vision and build it thought by thought, day by day, brick by brick and you will feel the satisfaction of seeing your vision becoming a reality because YOU CREATED IT.

"Don't wait for opportunities. Prepare for them; create them." - Khalid Al-Falih

Don't wait around for life to "happen" to you. Make it happen for yourself! 

If something about your life sucks... CHANGE IT. You can. You are POWERFUL. 

Create your own reality. Become your own dream come true.

Loves,

V

P.S. A big THANK YOU shout-out to our newest email subscriber... the talented Ms. Anna Alaimo... for sending me the link to this video. You RULE!!!

"Isn't it cool how when your thoughts become things and your dreams start coming true, they invariably bring along with them totally unexpected, life-changing manifestations that just blow your mind?" - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

  

37. Uncertainty

"Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it's all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn't happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative. When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Knowing things = so overrated... Moving forward anyway?... Priceless.

Chew on that with your Monday morning coffee.

Loves,
V

“To know that you do not know is the best.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

19. Test Your Passion

“First, choose from the options that thrill you. Then, choose the ones that also teach you. And from those, choose the scariest. Butterflies in your tummy are good.”  – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

So yesterday was a crazy-whirlwind day of meeting new people, being present in the moment (as often as possible) and swallowing my fear when I felt called to share with folks about the Acceptance Project.  I think it was a bit much for me, actually… it was a lot… I am exhausted. 

Too much, too fast, perhaps? I found myself getting a little overwhelmed with it all and ended up letting some self-doubting and self-sabotaging thoughts hang-out in my head for longer than I’d like. (Their echos are still kinda boppin’ around in there.)

“You knew there’d be things that would rattle your cage, push your buttons, and rock your boat. These would remind you that there’s still more to know.”  – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

Even if I’m not necessarily doing things “right” when it comes to this blog or in life in general… I KNOW that my pursuit of an MFA in Acting is “right” for me and THAT’s what matters.  I can feel good about WHY I am pursuing this dream, but HOW it’s all unfolding… well, that’s what I am letting go of daily… I want to allow it all to happen naturally.

This was one thing that helped to kick-start my recovery back into feeling-good-about-what-I-am-doing-mode…

Click Here: No Regrets Career Academy

Jennifer Gresham is a PhD biochemist, a blogger, a teacher and an award-winning poet. She has created an online-course to help people find their passion. She’s a scientist, so everything is very clearly laid out and quantifiable… which I LOVE!  If you are exploring that part of your journey right now, I highly recommend taking some time to check out her site. I signed up on her email list and was thrilled to receive at free 30 minute web-video where she explains the foundations of her method of self-discovery and asks a lot of GREAT questions.

Exploring her methodology was super encouraging for me in the pursuit of my passion, because it reinforced for me that I am on the right path! These are some of the questions she brings up… What kinds of actions cause me to feel pride in myself? What are my core values? What are the intrinsic and extrinsic motivations in my potential career? What is my definition of success?

Will a life as a professional actor be in alignment with my answers to the questions above? YES is the answer! Yes. Yes. Yes. Annnnd it gives me that fire-in-me-belly feeling! I am doing the right thing. I am moving in the right direction. And yes, sometimes it’s uncomfortable and scary, but … according to Jennifer Gresham’s tools, my passion has passed the test!

Eureka! 

Passion FOUND. Whew!

Check that one off of the to-do list.

Now, if I could only get rid of this instinctive need to apologize about it all the time. It’s weird. Why do I feel the need to be like… “Oh, sorry I’m doing this selfish thing of pursuing my dream. Hope you don’t mind.” 

So illogical. So unnecessary.

“Do you really need someone else’s permission, acceptance, wink or nod, or are you ready to give these to yourself, now?” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

It's my life, after all. Feel the fear and do it anyway, Wilcox! 

Thank you for reading, beautiful people. Go after your dreams!

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

Sending you all big Monday love… in hopes that Monday (or whatever day is the start of your “work-week”) is your FAVORITE day of the week.

Loves,

Virginia

“Create your own dream job.” – Leo Baubauta, Zen Habits

P.S. For other posts about "finding your passion" go to... #9 & #10.

18. Failure: A Gift In Disguise

“If you’re an entrepreneur, you have a kind of delusion. You’re willing to do something that’s kind of ridiculous, which is probably gonna fail 99% of the time, because the adventure of doing the thing itself – the journey – is so enjoyable that you don’t give a crap about the end.” – Feross Aboukhadijeh, creator of YouTube Instant

I was thinking yesterday about how glad I am now that I didn’t get into grad school on my first two tries. I have been so incredibly blessed by the results of NOT being accepted that I know that, though disappointing in the moment, my “failure” was actually a gift in disguise. I have learned so much about myself through this process and over the past two years. What was “supposed” to happen, definitely happened.

 “When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

The New York Times recently published an incredibly insightful article by Paul Tough entitled “What if the Secret to Success Is Failure?”  I posted it on my FB page yesterday. But for anyone that didn’t happen to see it, here are some of the highlights that I LOVED…

Click HERE for the full article.

“People who accomplished great things… often combined a passion for a single mission with an unswerving dedication to achieve that mission, whatever the obstacles and however long it might take. She decided she needed to name this quality, and she chose the word “grit.””

“...He identified a set of strengths that were, according to his research, especially likely to predict life satisfaction and high achievement. After a few small adjustments (Levin and Randolph opted to drop love in favor of curiosity), they settled on a final list: zest, grit, self-control, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism and curiosity.”

“...We all know — on some level, at least — that what kids need more than anything is a little hardship: some challenge, some deprivation that they can overcome, even if just to prove to themselves that they can.”

“Randolph wants his students to succeed, of course — it’s just that he believes that in order to do so, they first need to learn how to fail.”

So, next time you suffer what feels like a crushing defeat… find the hidden gift. It may simply be the strength of character and learned confidence derived from surviving failure. 

Mmmm... Failure. Feeeeeels sooooo goooood! LOL!

FAIL BIG, PEOPLE!!!

Wishing you all zest, grit, self-control, social intelligence, gratitude, optimism and curiosity!

Hugs,

V

“Nothin’ happens to anyone… that isn’t a gift in disguise.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

2. You, Too, Can Become Great

Morning, party people!

I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support with my Acceptance Project. Wowzers!!! Thank you so, so very much to each and every one of you who have subscribed by email or have decided to follow via RSS or Facebook or bookmarking-the-page-on-your-phone or whatever. It's so fun too know that you're all out there!

"Really great people make you feel 

that you, too, can become great." 

~ Mark Twain

I'm not going to write a mammoth post today.... (Ha ha. Careful making promises you can't keep, Wilcox.)... But I have to say something about great people (which you are one, clearly, since you are reading this post!)  When I moved to NY, there was one thing that struck me about most people I met  (and I'm sure this is probably true of other cities too), here I was, surrounded by all these super incredible, amazingly talented, down-to-earth people and also, they were seemingly unaware of their greatness. It just seemed effortless. No biggie. Awesomeness = Business-as-usual. Hanging out with people like that on a regular basis, I began to feel like maybe there was a possibility that I could be great too someday... Or maybe I was already great... and just didn't know it either.

Surrounding myself with passionate people is the best way I have found to motivate myself to want to dream bigger and grow. Especially in acting... experiencing the great work of others inspires me to want to aspire to do great work. Which is one of the main reasons that I'm super jazzed/obsessed/hopeful about attending grad school as an actor. I want to surround myself with great people... actors, teachers, designers, playwrights, etc... and then we can all jump in the creative sandbox, play together and see what happens. Who knows what will come out of it? But it's sure to be GREAT.

Happy Tuesday, folks.

~V

P.S. Shout out to 'Alexis' and 'Unknown' for leaving me two beautifully insightful comments on yesterday's post. They're singing my soul!!! And maybe they're singin' for you too, so check out the comments button at the bottom of yesterday's post and be inspired. Like I said... Surround yourself with great people and.... magic. Love me some comments!!!