An (almost) daily conversation about my process of preparation to apply for acceptance to the MFA Acting programs at Juilliard, NYU-Tisch and the Yale School of Drama in 2012.
"Should you want to contain something, you must deliberately let it expand.
Should you want to weaken something, you must deliberately let it grow strong.
Should you want to eliminate something, you must deliberately allow it to flourish.
Should you want to take something away, you must deliberately grant it access.
The lesson here is called the wisdom of obscurity.
The gentle outlasts the strong.
The obscure outlasts the obvious."
-Tao Te Ching, Verse 36
Here's my personal addition to the above verse...
"Should you want to get stuff done, you must deliberately do nothing." - Virginia Wilcox
That's my current theory of accomplishment.
So far... I've given myself no goals for the evening... and I feel like I'm not really doing anything... no deadlines ... no pressure... no stress... no nothing... and YET... somehow I have managed to organically accomplish a ton of stuff I've been intending to do for a while... mostly having to do with cleaning and organizing my room and work-space (which have been a total disaster since the dawn of November a.k.a. the busiest month in living memory).
I loooove giving myself plenty of time to do things in an organic/not pre-planned way.
It's soooo much more fun to do something in the very moment that you actually FEEL like you are excited to accomplish that task... rather than FORCING yourself to do it because it HAS to get done or because you SHOULD do it.
It's like a brain trick!... By telling myself I don't have to do ANYTHING... I actually motivate myself to WANT to do things... but only the things I really wanted to do to begin with.
And... Since 2011 has been alllll about doing more of what I really WANT to do and skipping the stuff I don't really like, I can feel good about doing what I want to do because I know that's exactly what I SHOULD be doing. Doing more of what I love has made me a much happier human being... and I'm still gettin' stuff DONE.
So, anyway, I recommend being lazy and doing nothing... Try it! And see what fun stuff you can accomplish.
;-p
Loves,
Virginia
“Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” - Lao Tzu
"It’s very simple: your MIT (Most Important Task) is the task you most want or need to get done today. In my case, I’ve tweaked it a bit so that I have three MITs — the three things I must accomplish today. Do I get a lot more done than three things? Of course. But the idea is that no matter what else I do today, these are the things I want to be sure of doing.... And here’s the key to the MITs for me: at least one of the MITs should be related to one of my goals. While the other two can be work stuff (and usually are), one must be a goal next-action. This ensures that I am doing something to move my goals forward that day.
And that makes all the difference in the world. Each day, I’ve done something to make my dreams come true. It’s built into my morning routine: set a next-action to accomplish for one of my goals. And so it happens each day, automatically.
Another key: do your MITs first thing in the morning, either at home or when you first get to work. If you put them off to later, you will get busy and run out of time to do them. Get them out of the way, and the rest of the day is gravy!
It’s such a small thing to implement, and yet I’m raving about it like it’s a huge revelation. But it is. Sometimes small things can make big differences. I highly recommend you give it a go." - Leo Babauta, ZenHabits.net
This idea has been key, key, KEY for me in helping to keep my sanity this past month... (Though the jury's still out on that one.)
There's way too much going on for me to be able to accomplish EVERYTHING I want to do in a day. Just forgetaboutdit!
But if I do that one important thing, I feel MUUUUUCH better about life... especially if that one thing is something related to building my DREAMS.
Because, in the long run... a year from now... even 3 months from now... 5 minutes from now... which will I regret more: not keeping my room tidy or not getting my grad school applications submitted on-time?
Um, that's a no-brainer. Clearly my priority is the application!!! Having a clean room is okay, but that's not my tippy, top, top priority right now. So... laundry... you will stay on the floor for now.
"Put all your energy on what you love to do in your career and very little on what you don't." - Peter Pamela Rose
And if I have to let some things slide for a while in order to make sure I am accomplishing my MOST IMPORTANT TASK... then so be it.
(On that note... if I'm not returning your phone call or replying to your email... this is probably why.)
I gotta prioritize and can't keep all the balls in the air all at the same time. And that's OKAY. As long as I am keeping my focus on taking action on the things that are REALLY important to me, that I will be proud that I took the time to do YEARS from now...
And, for now... all the busy-work and day-to-day whatchamacalits that come up... I'll get to you when I get to you...or... NOT.
Use your precious energy wisely, folks. Today... do the thing that matters FIRST.
Love,
V
"There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all." - Peter Drucker, management consultant, professor and writer (1909 - 2005)
"The feeling of being hurried is not usually the result of living a full life and having no time. It is, on the contrary, born of a vague fear that we are wasting our life. When we do not do the one thing we ought to do, we have no time for anything else - we are the busiest people in the world." - Eric Hoffer, philosopher & author (1902-1983)
Hey, Peeps!
I know you all have busy, busy lives. That’s the way of the world these days, right?
I often forget that I need to give myself space to actually ENJOY my life. Every time I check something off the to-do list, it just seems to get longer.
In the interest of regaining some of my sanity, I am going to be mindful to single-task today. I will do one thing at a time and enjoy focusing on doing that one thing really, really well.
What will you do today to be more mindful and experience a deeper sense of joy? Don’t know? Need inspiration?
Here’s a gift for you! … A guest post from my FAVORITE blog: ZenHabits. See below…
“Smile, breathe and go slowly.”- Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Buddhist monk
The idea of being mindful — being present, being more conscious of life as it happens — seems a bit impossible to many of the super busy.
But not only is it possible, I’d submit that it’s desirable, and that it’ll help the busy (and non-busy) achieve their goals and enjoy life more fully…
“Do you have patience to wait till your mud settles and the water is clear? Can you remain unmoving till the right action arises by itself?”- Lao Tzu
How to Be Mindful
1. Do one thing at a time. Single-task, don’t multi-task. When you’re pouring water, just pour water. When you’re eating, just eat. When you’re bathing, just bathe. Don’t try to knock off a few tasks while eating or bathing or driving. Zen proverb: “When walking, walk. When eating, eat.”
2. Do it slowly and deliberately. You can do one task at a time, but also rush that task. Instead, take your time, and move slowly. Make your actions deliberate, not rushed and random. It takes practice, but it helps you focus on the task.
3. Do less. If you do less, you can do those things more slowly, more completely and with more concentration. If you fill your day with tasks, you will be rushing from one thing to the next without stopping to think about what you do. But you’re busy and you can’t possibly do less, right? You can. I’ve done it, and so have many busy people. It’s a matter of figuring out what’s important, and letting go of what’s not. Read more:The Lazy Manifesto: Do Less.
4. Put space between things. Related to the “Do less” rule, but it’s a way of managing your schedule so that you always have time to complete each task. Don’t schedule things close together — instead, leave room between things on your schedule. That gives you a more relaxed schedule, and leaves space in case one task takes longer than you planned.
5. Spend at least 5 minutes each day doing nothing. Just sit in silence. Become aware of your thoughts. Focus on your breathing. Notice the world around you. Become comfortable with the silence and stillness. It’ll do you a world of good — and just takes 5 minutes!
6. Stop worrying about the future – focus on the present. Become more aware of your thinking — are you constantly worrying about the future? Learn to recognize when you’re doing this, and then practice bringing yourself back to the present. Just focus on what you’re doing, right now. Enjoy the present moment.
7. When you’re talking to someone, be present. How many of us have spent time with someone but have been thinking about what we need to do in the future? Or thinking about what we want to say next, instead of really listening to that person? Instead, focus on being present, on really listening, on really enjoying your time with that person.
8. Eat slowly and savor your food. Food can be crammed down our throats in a rush, but where’s the joy in that? Savor each bite, slowly, and really get the most out of your food. Interestingly, you’ll eat less this way, and digest your food better as well.
9. Live slowly and savor your life. Just as you would savor your food by eating it more slowly, do everything this way — slow down and savor each and every moment. As I type this, for example, I have my 3-year-old daughter, Noelle, on my lap. She’s just sitting here quietly, as the rain pours down in a hush outside. What a lovely moment. In fact, I’m going to take a few minutes off just to be with her now. Be right back. :)
10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation. Cooking and cleaning are often seen as drudgery, but actually they are both great ways to practice mindfulness, and can be great rituals performed each day. If cooking and cleaning seem like boring chores to you, try doing them as a form of meditation. Put your entire mind into those tasks, concentrate, and do them slowly and completely. It could change your entire day (as well as leave you with a cleaner house).
11. Keep practicing. When you get frustrated, just take a deep breath. When you ask yourself, “What should I do now, Self?”, the answer is “keep practicing”.
“When you drive around the city and come to a red light or a stop sign, you can just sit back and make use of these twenty or thirty seconds to relax — to breathe in, breathe out, and enjoy arriving in the present moment. There are many things like that we can do.”- Thich Nhat Hanh
"Just as a musician must fine tune his instrument before a performance, to tap into their creativity, actors must learn to fine tune themselves through the process of self-awareness and self-understanding."
- Bonnie Katz
I think I function best in a state of organized disorder. I like things to be organized enough that I know where to find things, but messy enough that I don’t worry about everything being tidy and perfect all the time.
It’s a delicate balance. When I swing too far in either direction… then steps need to be taken to clean-up and categorize… or to mess things up a bit and add some color or images or scrawled notes on a napkin or throw everything up in the air and swim around in it for a bit.
For my Acceptance Project, I made myself a folder, a yellow folder, to be exact.
Inside the folder is where I cram all my little notes and ideas and reminders and influences and inspirations throughout the day. I carry it with me most of the time. (Sometimes cumbersome, but I never regret having it with me when I need it.)
In life, I am primarily an auditory learner. I learn and/or memorize by listening.
But in goal-setting I LOVE visuals… like my vision board collage, which I made last year and is the background art for the blog.
Calendar’s are also awesomely motivational for me...
I made this one and glued it to the inside of my folder, so that every day that I post a blog I can feel the joy of writing the blog title in the little empty box.
Soon there won’t be so many blank spaces and I will have a fun visual representation to look back at when the project is all over.
In a way, I feel like a child in Kindergarten. But hey! It was fun back then, why not now?
Little things, like that, help to add joy to the process and serve to keep me motivated all at once.
RE: Ideas
Linear approach? For me? Not so much. This is how I think…
I use this technique called “Mind-mapping.” I learned it at a business writing seminar that I took for the day-job. (Thanks, Skillpath!)
It’s soooooo fun. You put your central idea in the center... and then any related ideas that come to mind become a little bubbles attached to the central idea. And then... you can add bubbles that branch off of your already existing bubbles as sub-ideas or whatever.
It’s a non-linear outline.
Best part about it is that there’s really no wrong way to do it. It helps get all the ideas out on the page without so much judgement inhibiting the flow.
And at the end you have a pretty picture… or a hot mess… depending on your POV. Ha!
But who cares! At least all your ideas are out there. Now you can see them all and organize them or throw them away or whatever.
At the moment, I am feeling a little disorganized. There are way too many random Post-It notes in my folder. I have no idea what's in there anymore.
I need to go through everything and edit my to-do list and my calendar and see where I am at… will happen... soon.
Got to purge some of my notes that I probably won’t use… figure out what items on my to-do list are “top-priority” and what are “I-will-get-around-to-that-later-or-maybe-never”… and check the calendar to see what’s coming up in the next couple of weeks that I might need to schedule/ prep for.
Some recent items that have been checked-off of the to-do list…
Joined the mailing list at Juilliard (It's in the running. Haven't fully committed to it yet, but it looks promising. Moving forward "as-if" I'm going to add it to the list.)
Scheduled campus tours at both Yale and Juilliard (Re: NYU... They don't really have a tour that’s specific to the graduate drama department. And the I have done the general tour already.... Re: Juilliard... Still gathering information, but their tour will really clinch it for me. If I walk through the halls and feel at home there... then I'll know I'm supposed to apply.)
Entered in all scheduled deadlines to the Google Calendar attached to the blog (This will automatically email me reminders as the deadlines approach. Such an awesome feature!!! Never have to worry about forgetting an important deadline.)
Checked out the performance schedules of upcoming shows this semester at NYU, Yale & Juilliard
Made an appointment for my 5th monologue coaching session with the wonderful and talented Kathryn Bild
Pending items, requiring action...
Choose my Shakespeare monologue ( I am 99.9% sure that I’ve got my two contemporary monologues and one classical already chosen.)
Schedule appointment to get updated headshots in October (I’ve already decided that I’d like to get my shots taken with Dirty Sugar Photography. I love their stuff.)
Save up money to pay for October headshots
Send notes to NYU and Yale (maybe Juilliard?) contacts and invite them to follow the blog
Go online to NYU & Yale’s websites to look at the details of their programs posted online to see if there have been any changes from last year
Reserve tickets to see Clybourne Park at NYU in late Sept/early Oct
I’m sure there’s more, but that’s all I can think of for now.
Gotta go get ready for work. Now I get to go and administrative assist other people’s lives too! ... Talk about a role I was born to play… Ha!
