"I take it that what all men are really after is some form or perhaps only some formula of peace." - Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924)
I am seriously terrible at chilling out.
My idea of fun...is WORKING...Working on creative projects is the best...with awesome people. I love making up stories and stuff.
But I get so focused on my work that, most of the time, I waaaaay over-extend myself and make myself insane by trying to fit in too many things in one day.
It's like I think that I can just keep going and going and going from morning til night...forever...and I'm always so SHOCKED when I get hungry...or tired...or need to stop altogether. I get so disappointed in my inability to keep going. Isn't that CRAzY?
It's hard for me to justify taking a break in my own head. I always feel like I'm missing out on something. And then when my body is practically falling apart with exhaustion...I'm like..."oops...forgot to take care of my human needs today."...No wonder I get cranky.
"What??? I'm NOT a MACHINE? I need food and sleep and REST?!!" Weird.
Uggggggh! So ANNOYING! Doesn't my body know there's stuff that I want to DO today/tonight/every minute/always.
Clearly my thought-process surrounding restfulness is really messed up.
How do other people's brains work surrounding this idea of rest? I mean....what do you actually THINK in your head that helps you to allow yourself to relax? Do you really look forward to rest? Is it like..."I've worked all day...I deserve this bubble bath?" Or is it like..."I cannot go any further without food. Must refuel?"... Or maybe..."Momma told me to take a bathroom break every time I've got the urge to go."
Really, though....What are the beliefs you have/thoughts that you think/stories you tell yourself that help you to be able to let go of the stresses of your day and really relax?
There's got to be a healthier way of thinking about rest than the way I think about it.
Oh...please, don't tell me just to go meditate or drink tea or something...In fact, I'm not interested in WHAT to do...I want to know WHY you allow yourself to relax. What THOUGHTS do you think that motivate you to relax? If you tell me WHY YOU meditate...then I'm interested. (Also, I have nothing against tea. Tea is very nice.)
I am sooooo not being articulate right now.
It's not the WHAT you do that I want to know...But WHY you allow yourself to do that thing you do...to relax. Does that make sense? WHY do you feel okay about relaxing? Is that a totally weird question?...
I'm trying to figure out why my brain seems to have difficulty allowing me to enjoy relaxing. It's not that I don't know what to do...It's that I don't allow myself to do it, ya know?
I am completely envious of people who live with this calm and carefree air about them. Stress-free in the midst of this crazy s%!t-show that is life. Relaxed...cool...chill...such awesome qualities...Ones I'd love to master.
"Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop." - Ovid
I am definitely a "doer." My strength is...I DO things. But it's also my weakness...I DO too much...and exhaust myself.
It's all about balance. Tryin' to find it...
"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."- Chinese proverb