"The moment we lose sight of our vision, we're bound by the box we've been in up till now and the future doesn't exist in this box. Keep looking up and keep focused. This is a learned art - not a natural talent." - Marc Johansen, BeHypedOr, in other words...
Don't stop. Don't give up. Keep tryyyyyyyinnnnnnng...
P.S. Did monologues for TWO people this time!!! Yay!
First...did a classical monologue walking down the street in the Village with my friend D. He was super nice to let me do it. And we were just walking down the street and I said it to him as if we were having a conversation. I got distracted and forgot the words at one point...sort-of went back and repeated what I said before and got back on track...really started having fun with it and feeling less self-conscious toward the end.
He seemed to enjoy it...and said some encouraging things. Though the next subject that came up was...How are you going to keep it fresh? I said..."By doing it for different people in different situations and letting that inform the way I experience the monologue." He nodded and then the neeeext question he asked was...
"What are you planning to do if you DON'T get accepted?"...YIKES! I HATE THIS QUESTION. Um...here's my answer: live my life...work on building my voice over career...continue to work toward paying off all my debt...seek out creative people that I am interested in working with...or...I DON'T FUCKING KNOW...I'm focused on making THIS THING HAPPEN right now...I don't have a game-plan for every possible outcome...nor do I feel the need to do so. I will cross that bridge when I come to it!!! I will allow myself the time to reassess and reevaluate...THEN...but for now...I will spend my energy thinking about this moment and getting these monologues in my body...Thank you. Tirade done.
Second...Was at a noisy restaurant for lunch with my friend J...and I did THREE of my monologues for him. One contemporary piece, he had seen already...Felt great to do that one. He said it had improved. Score!
Then I did my Shakespeare piece...TOTALLY BOMBED. Could not possibly have gone worse. I completely forgot the words and had to paraphrase like three times...UGH! Awful!...Which was AWESOME! Soooooo glad to get that failure out of the way and now I know that I can survive it and also...I know better what I need to work on, especially with memorization...to make that piece stronger. He and I had a good laugh about it too... I love J.
Then I did a third piece...my other classical. I got reeeeally passionate and up-on-my-soap-box-y with it. He said that I should go do that piece into the People's Mic at the Women's Council meeting at Occupy Wall Street. :-) Now that would REALLLLLY take some balls. I think I'll remain a scaredy-cat on that one.