Tuesday, January 10, 2012

110. Confidence vs. Determination

"Kid, you got more TRY than anybody I ever seen." 
Current self-assessment regarding monologues: I suck at them.....And when I don't happen to suck at them. I have no idea how to repeat that "magic" experience on a consistent basis. Hence: the desire to go to grad school and LEARN HOW TO DO THAT BETTER.

Now this lady makes monologues look easy. Watch this video of Ms. Anna Deavere Smith...

(If you want to listen to an AMAZING audiobook. Checkout her Letters to a Young Artist. It's POWERFUL.)

Me = Not CONFIDENT at monologues

That's why I love this word: DETERMINATION....That's something I KNOW I can do! I'm just gonna hold on to this bull for dear life...even if it kills me.

But it won't...'cause I'm only auditioning for grad school.

Riding upside-down,

P.S. Went into Edge Studio and recorded all four of my monologues in the booth. It is sooooo distracting hearing myself through the headphones. I am completely freaked-out by the sound of my own voice. And every single disingenuous moment is completely obvious in an audio recording. Ugh, it was a tough exercise...recording myself. I sound veeeeery stilted and self-conscious. Which is accurate. Am I glad I did it? Don't know. I DO know that I am a terrible judge of my own work. And I can almost guarantee, that if it feeeels safe and comfy...it's probably terrible. And when it feels like I want to jump out of my skin...that's probably better. Ugh. Over-acting is waaaay easier than acting. Hopefully being a good actor isn't one of the requirements for acceptance to grad school. :-p

1 comment:

  1. There's this book called Effortless Mastery. You should check it out. It is aimed at musicians, but the principles apply to any art form. It's all about how to stop being self conscious and stay in the zone.