180. Last Post Of The Project

"You may want something, work hard to achieve it, and in your process achieve something even greater than your original goal. So don't get married to what you imagine is the result of your pursuit, just be involved in the pursuit. Besides, you already have a job. Your job is to be a joyful artist. No one can take that away from you." - Jack Plotnick, New Thoughts For Actors

Let's start by revisiting the mission statement of this blog as I envisioned it back in September 2011:

"This is my 3rd year applying to the MFA Acting Programs at NYU and Yale and my 1st year applying at Juilliard. I am blogging to record my process of preparation. From Sept 5th, 2011 to Apr 1st, 2012, I will post 6 days a week on all subjects related to my creative process and my application and audition preparation... Though my short-term goal is to be accepted to the grad school of my dreams, this is but a step toward the long-term goal of building a life/career that will be joyful, sustainable, creatively fulfilling, profitable, challenging, of service and FUN!"

Did I complete the project according to the guidelines specified above?

Yes.

Do I consider this a success?

Yes.

Did I get accepted to grad school?

The jury is still out, actually...Well, I do know this...It's not Yale and not Juilliard, not this year anyway.

But I am currently an alternate (one of two) for the 2012 entering class for NYU Grad Acting. Soooo I could possibly get a call if someone drops out...even up-to the day before classes begin. OR...I could never hear from them again.

Either way...I got waaaaaaaay further than I have in the past two years that I've auditioned for grad schools...and, more importantly, because of the blog the EXPERIENCE of the entire process was sooooooo much more fun and challenging and rewarding than it ever was before.

Do I consider this a success?

Yes...I'm going for progress. And progress has been made.

One of the other reasons I started this blog, was because I WISHED SO MUCH that someone else had started a blog like this to share their process when I was first auditioning for grad school.

My first year, the process was sooooo lonely and I had NO CLUE what I was doing and I reeeeeeeally wanted to know what the process had REALLY been like for other people that were eventually accepted. I mean, what were they really thinking at the time when they were preparing to audition? Were they really as unsure as I was about whether or not they would succeed at this endeavor?

But I didn't know a lot of people that had been through it, and those that I did know...I was too scared to ask them to reveal all the inner-workings of it all.

And, besides, it's easy to look back in retrospect once you've already succeeded and go "Oh, I did this or that." But what were you ACTUALLY THINKING at the time before you KNEW you'd succeed???...That's what interested me the most.

Were these successful people having the same thoughts and struggles as I was? The same kind of experience? Or did they know some secret that I didn't know? Were those people that had gotten into these programs just as scared as I was that they weren't good enough to "make-it?"...Yet...they made it happen anyway. So if they could do it...why not me?

The nice thing about auditioning for graduate school is...you can keep trying again.

2010 = 1st year of auditioning at NYU &  Yale  = calledback at NYU, but not accepted

2011 = 2nd year of auditioning at NYU & Yale = waitlisted at NYU, but not accepted

Soooooo when I came upon my third year of auditioning at NYU, Yale and now Juilliard (since they now offer an MFA)...and I realized that I had learned a lot about what it takes to make solid showing at grad school auditions...I thought, "Dude! I could write a blog about this! Ha!" And though I am no expert...I am certainly more knowledgeable than I was my first year.

So I decided to write this blog myself since there might be someone like ME out there...auditioning for the first time...wondering what to expect...needing a little inspiration and encouragement to stay focused and keep their head in the game throughout the process. So if that's YOU...then I wrote this blog for YOU...fyi.

On that note, here is a TIME-SAVING TIP FOR USING THIS BLOG and really makes it easier to use (I hope!)...I've included a "TOPICS" section on the right sidebar. See if there are any words that pop out at you that might be reflective of where you are at in YOUR PROCESS or a topic relevant to YOUR LIFE. Click there. Read. The "TOPICS" are a huge time-saver to point you toward cool subject-matter that might be of interest to YOU.

Happy reading!

Next item on the agenda for today...

Just want to take the time to say THANK YOU to some very important people that have supported me along the way to making this blog exist and to help me in having the best possible experience applying to grad school in 2012.

These folks have racked up some seeeeerious positive credit in their good-Karma-accounts...

First and foremost thank you to my 100 EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS!!! You have been the most active participants in this journey. It is for YOU that I have posted every day. Your attention has kept me accountable to staying-with-it through this process and giving it my ALL.

I have always tried to honor your commitment by sending you inspiring quotes, words of encouragement and my own honest personal experience...in hopes that we can all help each other to pursue our creative dreams in our own unique, authentic way.

Thank you for alllll of your comments and emails over the span of the project. (I read every single one. Bloggers are c r a z y about receiving comments from readers. It is our greatest joy.) I know you've had the option to "unsubscribe" every day. So thank you for sticking with me and continuing your subscription throughout the process. You have made a difference in this girl's life. :-)

And thank you to...

Kathryn Bild (my monologue coach and author of my favorite acting book Acting From A Spiritual Perspective)

Adam Gilbert (MyBodyTutor and blogging inspiration)

Dylan Patrick (NYC headshot photographer, who does ammmmmazing work at a totally affordable price and is one of the nicest people you've ever met)

My four friends that agreed to let me interview them and post their words-of-wisdom on the blog:

• Daniel Talbott (Alumni of Juilliard...Actor, director, playwright, producer, literary manager, and artistic director of Rising Phoenix Rep in NYC)
• Bryce Pinkham (Alumni of Yale...Now starring in Ghost: The Musical on Broadway)
• Jeremy Rishe (Alumni of NYU...Actor, producer, director, and co-creator of the web series First World Problem)
• Julie Alexandria (Self-made girl...Actress, host and television personality who specializes in Sports, Pop Culture, Fashion, and all things Geek-tastic.)

And a big THANK YOU to Dorothy Wilcox (my mom) for donating her court-reporting skills and transcribing the interview recordings into text, so that I could post them on the blog for your reading pleasure.

Thanks to the faculty and staff of the acting programs at NYU, Yale and Juilliard. Your job is to create an environment where young actors, like me, can learn and grow and train for a successful career in the performing arts. And all three of your programs strive to do that in the very BEST way for your students. Very admirable. In my humble opinion, it's actor-utopia!

And though I've never been accepted for admission. I still appreciate what you do. You facilitate positive change and artistic growth in young people's creative lives, giving them the tools to succeed and thrive as artists in the "real world." That's AMAZING! Thank you for all the support and guidance that you are giving to the next generation of emerging artists. Our entire world will benefit from this investment.

A special thank you to Robert Parsons for being my teacher, mentor and friend through-out all my years applying grad school and well before then too. Thank you for reminding me that I've "got what it takes" even when I've forgotten what that is exactly. Your enthusiastic support has made me feel like I'm not crazy for choosing this life...and that I WILL be able to support myself financially with my acting-paychecks some day! Thank you for believing in my abilities as an artist and encouraging me to continue to follow my heart.

Thanks to all of the wonderful people that wrote me recommendation letters for Yale, NYU and Juilliard this year. And to those that wrote me letters for my applications in 2011 and 2010, as well. You know who you are! Your support has been essential in this process. Thank you.

Shout-out to Matt Steiner for being an exceptional friend and writing me a very well-timed letter of encouragement that came into my inbox at a very loooooow point in the process for me. He wrote...

"...This project may have felt, at times, like a vehicle to take you to a place where you would then make some great artistic contribution. But, to me, this is the greatest artistic contribution that you could have given to anyone at this point in your life. You've given the rest of us the permission to fail. And in that, you've encouraged us to risk enough to succeed. I'm very proud of you, Virginia. Congratulations." 

I meeeeean, could anyone possibly say anything more encouraging than that? Seriously. And thank you, Matt, for collaborating with me in getting my monologues recorded on video and uploaded to YouTube. The whole process was a JOY because of you. Thanks for helping to make that happen!

Thank you to Ms. Brittany V. Green for writing the guest posts about your NYU Callback Weekend. And congratulations on your acceptance!...With a scholarship to boot! You are going to grow sooooo much from the experience! Cannot wait to see what's next for you! So happy that we connected at Juilliard callbacks. Congrats on NYU.

Thanks to all those folks that attended the MIXER and the VISION BOARD PARTY! Soooo much fun. And if anyone else out there has completed a vision board for 2012...email me a photo and I'll post it on the blog!

HUGE THANK YOU to Adam Baker of ManVsDebt for interviewing me for his documentary. I'm Fine,Thanks. It's scheduled for release in Summer 2012. Best of luck with the rest of the filming and editing process. I think it's an incredibly timely and moving project that's taking a time to reflect on the issue of complacency in our modern society. I cannot wait to see it!!!

And thanks to alll of the other bloggers that have inspired me with their incredible words of wisdom...I don't think I've ever commented on a single one of your blogs...but you've changed my life anyway...by sharing your experiences online. You're in my inbox daily. I am grateful to: Zen Habits, Everyday Bright, Happiness Project, Seth Godin, Ramit Sethi, Jonathan Fields, Stephen Pressfield and Ken Davenport.

If you want inspiring new perspectives coming into your inbox every day...I'd highly recommend subscribing to any of these blogs.

Four authors that have inspired me beyond what my limited vocabulary can express: Dr. Wayne Dyer, Anna Deavere Smith, Jack Plotnick and Julia Cameron. You've given me support, guidance and mentorship through your written words. You've helped me relocate my core whenever I've lost my focus, forgotten who I am or what is truly important to me. Thank you for taking the time to write.

Some special mentions...Anna Alaimo, Jessica Raaum, Josh Heath, Haley Pulli, Alexis Jeanene, Dione Rábago, Marisa Abdoo, Claire Kennedy-Vega, Keola Simpson, Peter Evans, Chris Fore, Erin Shaw, Vanessa Nelson, Mary Schneider, Jake DeGroot, Alysha Umphress, Christine Kapp, Clint Alexander, Stephen Kling, Joey Costello, Nick Dothée, Laura Ware...and many, many more...You have alllll allowed me to talk-my-face-off about creative process and acting and blogging and dreams and hopes and ya-da-ya-da-ya-da...and you've all listened and nodded and responded in kind and made me feel like you all care. So thanks for being my friends!

Thank you also...to everyone that has NOT been supportive of this project...to everyone that has unsubscribed...to everyone that has made snarky/judgemental comments...to everyone that has looked at me like I'm totally INSANE when I've told them about what I'm doing. You have made me stronger by reminding me that I am not looking to others for outside approval in order to motivate me to do this project, but that it is my own inner creative aspiration to grow as a human being that ultimately keeps me going.

I have learned that by doing the best job that I can with this project, my commitment to daily practice will result in an improvement of my skills and that by having FUN with the process I am able to release my attachment to the outcome.

The PROCESS is the point.

It is ME I have to inspire and impress. THAT'S HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE. So thank you to all the nay-sayers. You've been truly motivating force.

Annnnnnd....Thanks to alllll the folks that have stumbled upon my blog from Sept 5, 2011 to Apr 1, 2012...and to all of you that will read the blog in the future!


Many of you have found the blog through Google or FB or Twitter or a recommendation from a friend...Thanks for stopping by! Feel free to leave comments or email me. I'll do my best to respond.

(You know what totally blows my mind?...Up to this point I've had over 28,000 hits. Wowzers! Who knew so many people would be interested in reading about this subject?! Crazy, right?)

Oh! And thank you to all the folks at my day-job. You don't know how much you all mean to me. And though I haven't told any of you about this project...yet...I love you all and look forward to seeing you at the office every day. My time with you is limited and therefore I appreciate it all the more.

And last, but not least, thank you to the higher power...God...the Universe...whatever you'd like to be called. I know that you are working your magic in my life and I am grateful for your silent protection and the loving gift you've given me...this life. I will continue to try and do my best with all that I've been given every day.

Those are my "thank yous."


So what's next for me?

Who knows?

But if you want me to keep you posted...you'll have to subscribe by email. That way, any updates I post will be sent straight to your inbox.

I will NOT be posting six days a week anymore. (LOL! I need to have TIME to do other things again.) But I will let you know what happens with NYU...for sure. And if I decide to apply to grad school again next year... And...if there's anything else that I feel INSPIRED to post about...that I think might be relevant and interesting to you guys...I promise I'll post about that stuff, as it comes up.

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes to all for 2012 and beyond.

Loves,
Virginia Wilcox

"There's nothing anyone can do to prevent you from reaching your potential; the challenge is for you to identify your dream, develop the skills to get there, and exhibit character and leadership. Then, you need to have the courage to periodically reassess, make adjustments, and pursue a course that reflects who you truly are." - Robert S. Kaplan, "Reaching Your Potential," Harvard Business Review

P.S. I'll leave you with this...

(Thanks, NKD.)

150. You Are Not Alone

I've been getting some incredibly inspiring emails from readers and friends over the past couple of weeks. I want to share one with you today (with permission of the author, naturally). I will name her Ms. Anonymous for privacy purposes.

A little background... Ms. Anonymous is an incredibly talented friend of mine. She decided to apply to just one grad school this year (American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco) and has been following the AcceptanceProject blog over the past several months.

Ms. Anonymous and I both share the perspective that the process of applying for grad school is a valuable one, in and of itself, because it forces you to get really focused and specific about who you are and what you really want for your future. It's an incredibly personal and introspective application process. And therefore, even if you're not "accepted," you're walking away with some valuable self-knowledge about what you really want for your life. And because you've gained this new self-awareness you will naturally be drawn to make changes and explore avenues to improve your situation and get you moving in the direction of your dreams.

I believe that, almost universally, the desire to apply to grad school comes from a place of dissatisfaction in our current situation...We see a need for improvement in certain areas...career, training, mentorship, community, location ...whatever... SOMETHING is not working...and we know it...and we're hoping that perhaps grad school will help bridge that gap between where we are now and who we seek to become.

I wanted to share Ms. Anonymous' email with you...because stories like hers are the PRIMARY reason that I wanted to start this blog....To remind her that she is not alone. That I am not alone. You are not alone.

We are not competing with each other. We are in this together. Not just in the pursuit of grad school acceptance, but in the pursuit of creative growth. We are all searching for our right path and the place where we can find guidance to reach our greatest artistic potential.

I hope you will feel the camaraderie expressed in Ms. Anonymous' email and know that (though you may not know them personally) there are thousands of others out there sharing your journey this year and thinking the same thoughts you've been thinking and sharing the same fears you've been feeling and still pushing through and going for it anyway!

Here is Ms. Anonymous' email of February 18, 2012...

Hey there beautiful lady!!!

I just read your blog about Julliard. BIG bummer. They truly don't know what they are missing, despite the fact that they are choosing precisely what they want!!

I am SO grateful that you are sharing your experience with this whole process, including your first two years of auditions [NYU & Yale]. It's interesting... I was so hoping that with all of this energy you are putting into the universe that you would TOTALLY get in to ALL THREE schools! You are so focused, and diligent, and selflessly sharing it all with the world... to me that means you should get what you want and deserve =). Alas, that is clearly not how the universe works. Not exactly, anyway.

So, I did not get past the first cut at ACT. It was seriously one of the best auditions of my life. I sort of blew myself away with the depths I was able to reach, the effortlessness of creating both characters back to back, and just how much fun the whole process was. And NOTHING!!!!! I seriously stood there looking at the list making sure I hadn't missed my name, wondering if it had somehow fallen off the piece of paper. I wondered if they were going to call me later and be like "oops! We totally meant to call you back!! Turn around and get here quick!!" I mean, I didn't assume I was going to get in, but called back for the first round? REALLY??? One of my concerns about my viability for the program was my age. The average age of the ACT MFA student is 24. I am 33. The other is my ethnicity. ACT is very PC and most of the people chosen will be of some ethnicity other than white. I would have been totally happy assuming that I was just too old or white in their eyes, and that it had nothing to do with my work. Except that there was a white woman who certainly looked older than 24 called back!!! So I can't blame it on that either. I just simply didn't get selected.

So what does that mean? Am I not as talented as the people chosen? Am I not supposed to be an actor? No, no, no, and no. I'm just not supposed to get my MFA right now. And one of the reasons I know that is because you have shared your journey. It's hard to take an accurate appraisal of myself because I can't actually SEE my work. But I KNOW you. I KNOW your work. I KNOW your resume!!! You are brilliant, talented, stunningly beautiful, and a nice person to boot! And you do the work.  You do the work on yourself, and you do the work for your characters. You are a professional actor, and a conscious human being. And who the heck knows why you or I weren't chosen, other than we just weren't!! With 1500 aplicants (most of whom are probably pretty darn talented if they're even applying!), it's got to feel like they are throwing darts at a dartboard in their selection process. Which for me brings it down to the "Je ne sais quoi" of the universe. The unknown guidance system that moves us like chess pieces through this crazy game of life. I AM talented. I AM a professional actor. And I AM ambitious. I WILL work... I just don't know where or how or why. I just have to keep putting myself out there and see where I end up!! It may not look like I think I want it to look. But I have a gift to give, and I believe gifts are meant to be given.

Personally, I took this immediate rejection as a sign that I need to continue doing what I'm doing- film work, especially commercials (DEEP acting required there), musical theatre, and keep going with my song writing. I was given a voice... I should be using it =). I don't need a masters degree to do those things. I'm good enough all ready, and I'm ready to work. I AM working!!! I just want more work =). (I am also grateful that I don't have have to needlessly fill out the financial aid forms ;). ) 

Love,
Ms. Anonymous

Thank you, Ms. Anonymous, for sharing your story with us! You are RIGHT, you are incredibly talented and have some major gifts to give the world. You touch the lives of all those who know you and inspire them to greater creative heights! (I know..because I am one of them.)

I am grateful for your taking the time to write, expressing yourself with such openness...and letting me post your words on the blog. You are very courageous. Your insight is valuable and inspiring. Best wishes for you with your next creative steps.

I hope we can all take a lesson from Ms. Anonymous and move forward with confidence...knowing that we're on the right path.

Loves,
Virginia

141. The Learning Spiral

Learning is not a linear process in my world. I wish it looked like the chart below. But, for me, this is not exactly right.

(Photo Credit: synapse9.com)

The above is allll logical and makes sense and everything. And maybe it works for some people this way...but for me...My learning curve is a spiral staircase.

(Photo Credit: Andrew Hazelden)

As I take action in my life to learn a new skill...like blogging...or...eating healthy...or...working on a new monologue...or lessons I'm learning in life...like being more patient or... listening more...or being more focused on being present with people in the now...(These are all things I'd like to be better skilled at)...I've realized that I set myself up for a lot of self-loathing if I expect myself to be able to follow the learning curve rather than the learning spiral.

Thinking of it as a spiral makes me feel good about learning!

What's the difference? You ask?

Well, I see it this way...As I climb up the spiral staircase...I can feel GOOD because I am...

A. Moving forward toward my goal

B. Moving upward (improving) toward my goal

and 

C. I am constantly coming back around to the same lessons that I have learned before...only THIS TIME...I am learning them at a higher level (because I've been doing A & B all along)

If I use the learning curve as the model in my mind...I get frustrated because I feel like once I've learned a lesson or accomplished a part of my process...that I SHOULD then be able to "check it off the list" and be "done with it" and I'll never ever revert back to needing to learn that lesson again. So when I (inevitably) have to remind myself of lessons I've "already learned" in the past...I end up feeling bad about myself...like..."Oh, I should have known better"...or..."DUH...That was stupid. What's wrong with me?")

I have realized over the years that there's no reason to try to change the way I learn. That's just the WAY I LEARN and that's OKAY. Beating myself up about it does not help me learn any better. It just makes me feel bad. And I like to feel good about learning. So I will allow myself to love my learning spiral!

I am constantly learning and re-learning the same lessons in life over and over again...and just when I think I've "MASTERED" something...I discover how I can improve it. This is both wonderful (because it means learning is a life-long process and I'll never get bored) and it's also frustrating (because I sometimes think..."Why-can't-I-f*%<ing-LEARN-this-thing-already-and-get-it-over-with"...in my mind).

So to be more SELF-LOVING in my learning process. I have officially adopted the spiral staircase as my learning model.

For example, I was re-learning a lesson this morning...I woke up and I was thinking about imagination...and how important it is to have a strong vision for what I want my life to be...but imagination is equally as important as action...because without action, then all of my imaginings will only just be dreams...but there's another component that's suuuuuper important for me...and that is motivation...because when I'm really motivated to do something for a really strong/true/right/powerful/fun reason...then you best believe I'm going to find ways to make it happen...because I will throw all of my time, smarts, and love into it.

Imagination + Motivation + Action = Moving Up The Learning Spiral in the Direction of My Dreams

For me...the step that I MISS most often (in the above equation)...is the action step. I feel like I've got a strong imaginative vision of what I'd like to become...and I've got a TON of motivation to want to do it...but then...I get distracted by things...or I over-exert myself and get tired...and I realize that I'm not taking the ACTION necessary to really make my dreams a reality.

“Your story (that you tell yourself in your head) is the person you really want to be. That’s how you’d like to view yourself. Your actions, of course, are you! You can’t define anyone but by their actions. You can BE great. But unless you DO great, no one will know that. Think about that today…Let’s make our actions follow our story.” – Adam Gilbert, MyBodyTutor

And back to the LEARNING SPIRAL and how that relates to my issues with taking action...this is not a new concept to me...I blogged about it last November. CLICK HERE TO READ THAT POST.

So I'm still deepening that learning...Reminding myself to take action is going to be a constant life-long learning spiral for me. True story...So I might as well love it...and love myself through the process.

I'm not a linear learner...I'm a SPIRAL LEARNER. And somehow...knowing that and being able to label it...makes me feel good about it. Because I know I'm learning in the right way...the right way for me, that is.

So I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself constantly on this blog...That's just because I'm walking up my spiral...blog post by blog post...Learning and re-learning the lessons that the universe has to teach me. 

I'm no expert. But I'm learning...and getting better!

Thanks for walking with me. It's fun sharing the journey with you!

Loves,

V

"Expertise requires routine consistency, if only to elevate the level of growth in a short period of time. Schedule practice consistently...freeing you up from worrying over other things." - Marc Johansen, BeHyped

135. 1040 Aversion

"Do it now!" - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I am working on my taxes today. I know...SUPER EXCITING, right?  

Hold on...Wait!...Don't click away yet...keep reading...you know you LOVE hearing all about how much taxes suck...Misery loves company! 

So, I know that most people aren't even going to be THINKING about their taxes until April or so, but I have to get them done suuuuuper early this year because I need to file the FAFSA. And I've gotta get ready to submit all the financial aid paperwork for grad school (should I happen to receive an offer for admission).

I am sooooooo resistant to doing all this financial-number-crunching and paper-pushing. It's one of my top 5 least favorite things to do in the world. And I would avoid it at all costs...if it wasn't required by LAW to file taxes every year. 

Sigh. I don't mind contributing some of my income to the good of our society, but does the process of filing the paperwork have to be so freakin' complex? Just sayin'...

It's gotta get done though, so...

In motivating oneself to sit down and tackle a project that one would rather NOT do...What are the tricks that you use to help you get through it?

Here are some of mine:

1. Set aside a BIG chunk of time. (Rushing only stresses me out MORE.)

2. Taxes are always better with red wine. ;-)

3. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. (It's not going to be perfect, so do it well enough to get the job done. But don't stress if you can't find EVERY receipt and can't deduct EVERY expense. Besides, if you discover a mistake later...you can always fix it by filing an amendment to your taxes. No worries.)

4. Get the help you need. (I have an AWESOME tax professional that helps me with my taxes every year. She specializes in the unique financial situations of actors and performers. She's a great resource for all my questions. And she always does a fantastic job and is very reliable. Love her! But before she was recommended to me, I always used TurboTax...which was a great tool too.)

5. Focus on how great you're going to feel when it's all DONE. (Though I may be banging my head against the wall right now, muttering expletives under my breath and sighing in frustration every 10 minutes...I know that when this thing is alllll done and I've got it all signed and finished and can look forward to a nice refund from the government about to be direct-deposited into my account...THAT will feel AWESOME.)

6. Think of the future benefit. (If I DO get accepted to grad school this year...and am able to get a good, solid financial-aid package from the grad school of my dreams...Well, then I will look back on this day of tax-return-preparation-torture...and I will be VERY HAPPY with myself that I took this time to get it DONE. It will be a HUGE pay-off in the end...I hope.)

7. Be grateful you're an "adult" now. (Sorry, if this one doesn't apply to you yet. It will someday. You have something awesome to look forward to. Trust and believe...Since I'm 30, I no longer have to submit my parents' financial info for the FAFSA. In undergrad, that used to be the bane of my existence. Nagging people to get stuff done is NOT my fave. I am very happy that, at least now, I don't have to deal with motivating my PARENTS to complete their tax returns early too. I just have to motivate myself.)

8. Keep starting. (When I hit a roadblock or a tough moment where I just want to throw all my receipts into the air and shoot them with a flame-thrower...I take a deep breath and think. "Okay, I'll just start from here." And for some reason, that allows me to keep going. Can't really pin-point exactly WHY that works for me, but it does.)

It's so strange to be doing alllllll this work sooooo early and not knowing if I'm even going to need it. But, on the other hand, even if I don't get accepted to grad school this year...I will still need to file my taxes...so it's gotta get done at some point...might as well be now, right?

Getting into grad school will be AWESOME!!!!!...Paying for grad school?.... Hmmmmm...that's going to be...challenging.

Since there haven't been any millionaires sending anonymous contributions to my Paypal account offering to finance my future education and no corporate sponsorship agreements have been signed...I'll have to go through all the normal channels to try to secure some financial support and make my grad school aspirations a REALITY.

So I'll have to stop blogging and get back to it...Here I go...

"TAXES...YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL DEFEAT YOU! WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN MY CALCULATOR?! DON'T MAKE ME PULL OUT THE FLAME-THROWER! WHAH HA HA HA HA!"

;-P

Anyhoo,...HAPPY TAXES to all ya'll filing the FAFSA this year...and commiserating with my 1040 aversion.

Best wishes to all...

May your federal return be hefty and your estimated family contribution be minuscule.

Loves,

V

"Perhaps the hardest linear process to let go of is the accounting part of the mind that links the amount of money you have in the bank to what is possible. Get rid of this limiting process, be practical but don't base your goals and commitments on something as powerless as money. Practice seeing money as an energy and play with increasing that energy instead of counting dollars." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

97. Comfortably Uncomfortable

"An atmosphere of growth brings great happiness, but at the same time, happiness sometimes also comes when you're free from the pressure to see much growth." - Gretchin Rubin, The Happiness Project

I love the feeling of pushing myself to do something outside of my comfort-zone.

I also love the feeling of being comfortable and doing something I know I do well.

How does one strike a balance? As artists, we always want to be challenging ourselves in our work... but how much is too much?

Only YOU can know your own limits...and only YOU can motivate yourself to push beyond them...or not.

And how to do all of this in a self-loving way?...Allowing yourself to be where you're at, yet still maintaining the desire and momentum to grow?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes it is necessary to stop being lazy and get to work... Sometimes it is necessary to stop working and be lazy.

Do what cha gotta do. And be honest with yourself about it.

Can you challenge yourself to do a little bit more today? Or do you need to slow down and do a little bit less?

Both can lead to happiness. Only YOU know which one is right for you in this moment.

Love,
V

"I take no action and people are reformed. I enjoy peace and people become honest. I do nothing and people become rich. If I keep from imposing on people, they become themselves." - 57th Verse, Tao Te Ching

86. Fake It Til Ya Make It

"Action may not always be happiness...but there is no happiness without action." - Benjamin Disraeli in Lothair

I am sooooo not feeling it today.

It's one of those going-through-the-motions days. You know...when you're "here" but you're not really present.

Yup. Me-not-with-it = Today

However, I am taking comfort in the fact that I am still making it through the motions...I got out of bed, showed up to work on-time, accomplished things, spent time memorizing my classical monologue, ate well, got home from work at reasonable hour... and now I am going to the gym...to sweat and hopefully get out of this funk.

Nothing's "wrong"... in fact, everything is pretty damn awesome... comparatively. I just feel like all the joy was sucked out of my soul today. Maybe it's hormones? Maybe my body is fighting off that cold that everybody is getting? Maybe I don't have enough romance in my life? Maybe I need more sleep? Maybe I just need to step outside my bubble and get some freakin' perspective on the world? I do want to appreciate all my many blessings.

Maybe I'm just fine? Yup. Probably.

Soooo, I guess my strategy is to keep on faking-it like I'm feelin' good and continue taking action to do things that I know are good for me... like get my heart pumping at the gym... and hopefully my sense of inner joy will catch a hint and begin to feel more authentic.

Stickin' with it, though...whether I "feel" like it or no.

Stubbornly committed,
Virginia

P.S. Lighten-up, Wilcox...laugh a little. That'll do you some good. ;-)

79. Do Nothing

"Should you want to contain something, you must deliberately let it expand.

Should you want to weaken something, you must deliberately let it grow strong.

Should you want to eliminate something, you must deliberately allow it to flourish.

Should you want to take something away, you must deliberately grant it access.

The lesson here is called the wisdom of obscurity.

The gentle outlasts the strong.

The obscure outlasts the obvious."

-Tao Te Ching, Verse 36

Here's my personal addition to the above verse...

"Should you want to get stuff done, you must deliberately do nothing." - Virginia Wilcox

That's my current theory of accomplishment.

So far... I've given myself no goals for the evening... and I feel like I'm not really doing anything... no deadlines ... no pressure... no stress... no nothing... and YET... somehow I have managed to organically accomplish a ton of stuff I've been intending to do for a while... mostly having to do with cleaning and organizing my room and work-space (which have been a total disaster since the dawn of November a.k.a. the busiest month in living memory).

I loooove giving myself plenty of time to do things in an organic/not pre-planned way.

It's soooo much more fun to do something in the very moment that you actually FEEL like you are excited to accomplish that task... rather than FORCING yourself to do it because it HAS to get done or because you SHOULD do it.

It's like a brain trick!... By telling myself I don't have to do ANYTHING... I actually motivate myself to WANT to do things... but only the things I really wanted to do to begin with.

And... Since 2011 has been alllll about doing more of what I really WANT to do and skipping the stuff I don't really like, I can feel good about doing what I want to do because I know that's exactly what I SHOULD be doing. Doing more of what I love has made me a much happier human being... and I'm still gettin' stuff DONE.

So, anyway, I recommend being lazy and doing nothing... Try it! And see what fun stuff you can accomplish.

;-p

Loves,
Virginia

“Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” - Lao Tzu

 

52. Annnnnnd... ACTION!

"Wishing doesn't make it so; making it so makes it so." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Gooood morning, people!

Had a monologue coaching appointment with Kathryn Bild yesterday. She and I hadn't met in a while. After we chatted it up a bit about what I had been up to recently and about the blog... then she asked me... point blank... "So what have you actually been DOING for your ACTING lately?"

Called OUT! Yikes!

Thankfully, I had been DOING some acting lately (my on-camera class and some voiceover training), so I had a couple things to talk about... Whew!

But it got me to thinking... What good is all this talking and blogging about the creative process of an actor if I am not actually DOING any acting?

Don't get me wrong! I am not going to stop with the AcceptanceProject. I am committed to finishing my 180 blog posts. Trust and believe.

But it was an important reminder for me to note that THINKING about acting is not acting. TALKING about acting is not acting. And WRITING about acting is not acting. Though I have found value in all of those things.

ACTING is acting.

And I think it's important to find a balance. I want to make sure that my thoughts and motives are in alignment with my values as an artist/human... which become clearer to me by thinking, talking and writing... but when it comes to getting into the thick of really learning about how to be a better actor... well, the only way to learn it is to take action and ACT.

Sooooooo, I thought I'd share with you all one of my favorite blog posts written on the subject of ACTION. (Anyone sensing the irony here?)

;-)

Anyway, why reinvent the wheel and try to write something brilliant about action... when it's already been done?

Below is a guest post by Leo Babauta of ZenHabits (naturally).

Enjoy!... But don't just READaboudit... take ACTION!

Love,
V

The Little Rules of Action

“The shortest answer is doing.” - Lord Herbert

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

Too often we get stuck in inaction — the quagmire of doubt and perfectionism and distractions and planning that stops us from moving forward.

And while I’m no proponent of a whirling buzz of activity, I also believe people get lost in the distractions of the world and lose sight of what’s important, and how to actually accomplish their Something Amazing.

And so today I’d like to humbly present a few little rules of action — just some small reminders, things I’ve found useful but by no means invented, common-sense stuff that is often not common enough.

1. Don’t overthink. Too much thinking often results in getting stuck, in going in circles. Some thinking is good — it’s good to have a clear picture of where you’re going or why you’re doing this — but don’t get stuck thinking. Just do.
2. Just start. All the planning in the world will get you nowhere. You need to take that first step, no matter how small or how shaky. My rule for motivating myself to run is: Just lace up your shoes and get out the door. The rest takes care of itself.
3. Forget perfection. Perfectionism is the enemy of action. Kill it, immediately. You can’t let perfect stop you from doing. You can turn a bad draft into a good one, but you can’t turn no draft into a good draft. So get going.
4. Don’t mistake motion for action. A common mistake. A fury of activity doesn’t mean you’re doing anything. When you find yourself moving too quickly, doing too many things at once, this is a good reminder to stop. Slow down. Focus.
5. Focus on the important actions. Clear the distractions. Pick the one most important thing you must do today, and focus on that. Exclusively. When you’re done with that, repeat the process.
6. Move slowly, consciously. Be deliberate. Action doesn’t need to be done fast. In fact, that often leads to mistakes, and while perfection isn’t at all necessary, neither is making a ridiculous amount of mistakes that could be avoided with a bit of consciousness.
7. Take small steps. Biting off more than you can chew will kill the action. Maybe because of choking, I dunno. But small steps always works. Little tiny blows that will eventually break down that mountain. And each step is a victory, that will compel you to further victories.
8. Negative thinking gets you nowhere. Seriously, stop doing that. Self doubt? The urge to quit? Telling yourself that it’s OK to be distracted and that you can always get to it later? Squash those thoughts. Well, OK, you can be distracted for a little bit, but you get the idea. Positive thinking, as corny as it sounds, really works. It’s self-talk, and what we tell ourselves has a funny habit of turning into reality.
9. Meetings aren’t action. This is a common mistake in management. They hold meetings to get things done. Meetings, unfortunately, almost always get in the way of actual doing. Stop holding those meetings!
10. Talking (usually) isn’t action. Well, unless the action you need to take is a presentation or speech or something. Or you’re a television broadcaster. But usually, talking is just talking. Communication is necessary, but don’t mistake it for actual action.
11. Planning isn’t action. Sure, you need to plan. Do it, so you’re clear about what you’re doing. Just do it quickly, and get to the actual action as quickly as you can.
12. Reading about it isn’t action. You’re reading an article about action. Ironic, I know. But let this be the last one. Now get to work!
13. Sometimes, inaction is better. This might be the most ironic thing on the list, but really, if you find yourself spinning your wheels, or you find you’re doing more harm than good, rethink whether the action is even necessary. Or better yet, do this from the beginning — is it necessary? Only do the action if it is.

“Talk doesn’t cook rice.” - Chinese Proverb

(Thanks, Leo! ... Don't you just LOVE him!?)