128. Juilliard Drama Audition 2012: Part One

(I wrote most of this post from the waiting room at Juilliard on the day of my audition. Yes, I brought my computer to the audition. I wanted to have it available to me…in case I got the opportunity to write…which I did! Hoooray!)

Here I am...writing. Writing is much more calming than sitting and sweating and looking around at everyone else...who are also sitting and sweating.

Although, I must confess I sweat alll the time anyway...I have this medical condition (no joke) called Hyperhydrosis. So basically, my armpits are producing moisture all the time…and especially when I get excited...then I’m majorly sweaty. It has nothing to do with regulating my body temperature. I am just allllllways sweating. Hot, right? So anyway, today is no different. I am just wearing a shirt that doesn’t show the sweat marks so much.

I woke up this morning at 6am. I took my time getting ready. I don’t like to rush. In fact, I LOATHE rushing. I ate breakfast at home (scrambled eggs and black beans...the breakfast of champions) and then stopped by Brooklyn Bagel on 30th Ave for a small Hazelnut coffee with cream and sugar. What a treat!

I took the N from 30th Ave to 42nd Street…Transferred to the Uptown 1 to 66th Street. When I stepped into the Uptown 1 subway car, I started to scan the car to see if I might be able to spot fellow Juilliard auditioners in the group. There were two suspiciously “actory” looking persons in the car. A gorgeous young lady with her hair pinned back in a 1940’s style and big clear blue eyes as well as a lanky elvish looking young man in a puffy green jacket. And, sure enough, I saw both them in the warm-up room later! Score!!!

After arriving at the beautiful glass palace that is The Juilliard School and checking-in, I was escorted into the waiting room marked “M thru Z.” I am “Wilcox,” so that makes sense.

The room has huge vaulted ceilings and bright white walls. The sun was shining through the windows and you could see the balconies of the adjacent high-rise apartment buildings with plants in planter boxes and the occasional lawn chair.

I ran into a lovely gentleman (I will call him Simon), who I seem to run into every time I visit Juilliard (and Yale too, for that matter). He reminds me a bit of a young Morgan Freeman. He’s auditioning for grad schools this year also (obviously)…and it’s been fun to keep running into him. I gave him a hug and we wished each other broken legs this morning. Maybe we’ll get to be in class together some day…or do a show together some time in the future. At any rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t the last time we ran into each other.

The morning warm-up with Richard Feldman and Kate Wilson was sooooooo helpful and awesome. We all sat on the floor...all 155 of us... in this ginormous orchestra room and listened intently as Richard reminded us to have a broader perspective about this day…That today is just a step along our journeys as actors. I wish I could have recorded his speech. It was really inspiring. And as I looked around the room and into all of these faces…so amazingly talented and dedicated and YOUNG, so full of hope and promise and energy... I thought, “Wow! What a gift to be standing in the midst of the future of the American Theatre! How freakin’ awesome is that!!!!???” Richard made us all laugh, made us feel welcomed, appreciated and understood as he shared with us his personal insights and perspective. After he was finished speaking you could feel the room pulsing with joy and excitement.

Then it was Kate’s turn with us. She told us all to stand up as she walked to the center of the room. We did a vocal and light physical warm-up. Nothing fancy or fantastic...all the nice familiar things that we’ve all done in many a voice and speech class before. It was a wonderful feeling. We were all breathing together, with a sense of camaraderie.

The warm-up dispelled both the physical and psychological tension. When we had completed the warm-up we all applauded Kate and thanked her as we began to file out of the room... As our applause died down...funniest thing happened...we heard cheering and applauding coming from the hallway behind the double-doors. I thought to myself, “What the heck is going on in the hallway? Did Kevin Spacey just show-up for a visit or something?” As I passed through the doorway, I sawall of the current Juilliard students lining the hallways and I realized that they were all applauding and cheering for US as we made our way back to the waiting room. I could not help cracking-up! I was grinning ear to ear. What a surreal experience! It was incredibly kind of them to show that kind of support and generosity to all of us “Juilliard hopefuls.”

And it was just so silly...Anything to distract us from being nervous...So brilliant! I loved it.

Sat in the waiting room for a few minutes. Met an elegant young woman who was sitting near me. (I will call her Rebecca.) We chatted a bit and then I headed up to the 4th floor warm-up rooms.

Having space to warm-up is suuuuuuuuch a gift. I did some yoga stretches, spoke some of the lines from my Shakespeare monologue really, really, really fast, as a sort-of tongue-twister...took some time just to breathe. But I was waaaaay too excited to really spend too much more time on any of these things. I did NOT practice any of my monologues. I wanted them to be nice and fresh...like I’d never spoken them before...and if I forgot one of my lines...so be it...better that, than to sound like I was doing a recitation.

Spontaneous. Surprising. THAT’s the goal.

So I headed out of the warm-up room and back down to the “M thru Z” waiting room on the third floor. I was there for several minutes and then my name was called and I was escorted to the hallway outside of the studio where I would be auditioning.

“Who is in the room?” I asked the monitor, a first-year grad student.

Her answer made me raise my hands up to the sky and praise the Heavens! Dude!!! I don’t know how I could have possibly been so lucky, but I was assigned the BEST audition room possible. I cannot even BELIEVE my good fortune. Seriously. Thank you, Universe. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

In the room was...Richard Feldman (swoon), Darryl Quinton (swoon), and Rene Houtrides (double-swoon).

The hallway was dim, but as I walked into the room and it was like walking through the gates of heaven…The light was streaming through the windows filling the entire studio with this glowing light. It warmed my heart and made me soooooo happy.

I chose to do my scariest piece first…THE SHAKESPEARE!!! Ahhhhhhhh! If I could get through that one…then…I could get through anything.

I figured…if I’m going to go down…I’d like to go down in FLAMES…so, best to tackle the scariest piece first.

Then I did my contemporary piece.

Richard didn’t quite know that I was done with my contemporary piece…so he started talking to me before I was actually finished, but I just stayed with it, until I was finished…then happily gave him my attention.

He asked me to do the piece again…only this time he gave me a character adjustment.

As I was contemplating how I was going to incorporate his note, I realized that I could not for the life of me remember the first line of the monologue (I was not focusing well...and my brain was not connecting), but Rene REMEMBERED MY FIRST LINE and fed it to me! How AWESOME is that!? Ha!

Teamwork! Amazing.

She was really listening!...Or maybe she was familiar with the piece, either way…I was VERY IMPRESSED and grateful for her generous kindness in my time of need.

Soooo … I started the monologue again…incorporating the adjustment…then Richard stopped me about three lines in and clarified his instruction…He wanted me to MOVE around the space and pretend that I was cleaning up after a long day of work…and say the monologue too.

Ohhhhhhhh! I seeeee.

So that’s what I did. It was tough to concentrate on the secondary activity. I kept feeling like I was about to forget my lines, but I just kept moving and trying to picture the layout of this imaginary restaurant I was in and the words kept coming out and I was doing weird things with it that I didn’t expect and saying it differently than I’ve ever said it before. But it felt good…freeing in a way…to be able to let go of any preconceptions I had about the piece and just play in these new given circumstances he had given me. Actually, it reminded me a lot of my on-camera class at The Barrow Group. I KNEW I took that class for a reason!

And I realize now that all that monologue practice commitment device that I gave myself earlier this month (to do at least one of my monologues every day for a different person)...no matter where I was…or who I was with…that practicing my monologue in these different/strange/unconventional situations really helped to prepare me to be flexible enough to just “go with it” and just pantomime away…focusing on cleaning my imaginary restaurant and basically just throwing the words away. It was really fun!!!

I got about half-way through the monologue before Richard stopped me.

Then…he asked me if I’d like to sing. I said I’d LOVE to sing. So I sang “Make Someone Happy” again, just like I did at my NYU audition and I tried to breathe…sometimes succeeding and sometimes not.

Then Rene asked me to sing again…only this time with an adjustment…this time I was all alone, singing to myself, totally sloppy drunk, sitting in a chair that was facing sideways and drinking bourbon. I asked if it was okay, if it was gin instead. She said that’d be fine.

So I started to sing to myself and Rene was sort-of side coaching me through it and telling me to take a drink as I continued to sing… and it was sooooo fun...I was improvising. I slouched in my chair and sang to the ceiling and then went to find my glass of gin (imaginary of course) which was underneath my chair…then when I got to the line about “someone to love is the answer”…it was toooo emotionally overwhelming…I took a sip of my “gin” and tried to continue to sing, but it was more like croaking and out-of-breath speaking, as I realized that I was all alone and drinking and singing about having someone to love…which I DON’T have…and it was terribly, terribly sad all of the sudden and the tears started to form in my eyes and I completely lost my voice. And then Rene stopped me.

I gathered my composure quickly and stood up from the chair. Richard, Darryl and Rene all said “Thank you.” And placed the chair back on the side of the acting space and thanked them and made my exit.

It was an exhilarating audition experience!

They treat actors with the utmost respect here and honor us for the courage that it takes to even BE HERE auditioning at JUILLIARD. I’m getting a little choked up just writing this…That may sound silly…but there is sooooooooooo much disrespect toward actors in the “business” and it’s incredibly refreshing to be here, in a place where people really, honestly honor the contribution that actors give and how much courage it takes to be vulnerable in front of others and show your honest, true heart…even in the face of possible rejection.

Then I stood in the hallway for a moment...trying to get my heart to stop pounding out of my chest...and concentrating on not throwing up from excitement...and then the monitor caught my eye and said that I was free to relax in the waiting room until “the call-back list” gets posted.

I had about 3 hours to wait...while everyone else was auditioning in the many audition rooms...So I went back to the waiting room to collect my breath and record my thoughts for you.

Tomorrow I will tell you all about....THE LIST....

Stay tuned.

Loves,

V

123. Remember: THEY are auditioning FOR YOU

Sometimes it helps to hear  from a "pro" to really get a proper perspective on a situation...Ms. Laura Linney's thoughts on auditioning...

"I...want to audition the director. I...want the opportunity to be in the room with the producers and the director and get a sense of...Do I want to spend an enormous amount of time with these people?" - Laura Linney, American Theatre Wing interview

True dat.

We often get so caught up in wanting to make a good impression at auditions that we forget to pay attention to our own experience. Same for grad school auditions. I mean, I don't really care how many fabulous alumni there are or how schmancy the school's reputation...Is this the right program for ME? So we must really ask ourselves as we go through the audition process..."Do I really want to spend 3 or 4 YEARS with these people? Are they reeeeeeeallly worthy of my trust or just blowing a lot of hot air? And do I feel good about PAYING THEM A LOT OF MONEY to help shape me as an artist?"

So, as you’re going in for your next audition or your next job interview or whatever, don’t forget to pay attention to these kinds of questions…

“Am I impressed with THEM?”
“Are these the kinds of people I am inspired by and excited to work with?”
“Am I being treated with respect in this process?”

You have a valuable contribution that you bring with you...your talent. They need YOU!

Don’t ignore the signs and signals that your senses are telling you about the total experience at the audition/interview. It is nooooot worth the time for you, if the entire process is going to feel like TORTURE. 

Life is too short to spend it doing stuff you hate...or with people you don't really enjoy working with. Right?

There is always another job out there...lots of them…fun ones…lucrative ones...with fun people…with creative, talented, like-minded folks that will appreciate your contribution to the project and treat you with respect. And if you can't FIND a job like that...then MAKE it yourself...with friends.

Annnnd don't forget that you won't even be AVAILABLE for the awesome jobs…If you’re always taking jobs that you don’t really like. I know it can sometimes seem "smart" to do it for the money or the resume credit or the glory or whatever...and those kinds of jobs can all be stepping-stones to other destinations...I get it...But don't let your soul get sucked out in the process or let yourself lose sight of the prize...the ultimate goal: Getting to do what you love with people you love (and getting paid to do it is nice too)!

And with school…YOU will be paying THEM to attend...Soooooo...

If you want to make sure that you are really going to be happy in that program and feel like you’re spending your time/money/life-energy well…you’d better pay attention to your instincts and listen to your heart. Make sure that school’s got the right philosophy and all the criteria YOU need to give you a good, positive experience…and not just a fancy name and super-famous alumni. 

Imagine how awful it would be to end up paying them a lot of money for a three-year-torturous-experience? No thanks! That's why I like to say "Rejection is God's protection." 

I mean, say you do get accepted...and you go to a school or take a job that you have certain "reservations" about...once you get over the excitement of getting accepted and feeling like “Ooooo! They like me, they really like me”…then you actually have to GO to class EVERY DAY or to rehearsal EVERY DAY…Is that a place that you’re going to look forward to BEING every day, filled with people that you’re going to look forward to being WITH every day?

'Cause this is your LIFE...and you only get to live this one once. And, last time I checked, schmancyness does not equal happiness.

So as you're auditioning...don't forget that HOW they do anything is (most likely) how they’ll do EVERYTHING. In other words...

“Is the audition monitor/greeter friendly?”

“Is the audition well organized?" 

"Are people being respectful of the time and efforts of those auditioning?”

If you are seeing red flags of unkindness, disrespect or disorganization...R.U.N.  

If they’re treating you rudely from the moment you walk through the door at an audition or a job interview…you can BET you’re going to get more of the same throughout the process. We’ve allllll had the experience where we’ve KNOWN that there was something OFF about an audition from moment #1...so DO NOT IGNORE your instincts. YOU ARE RIGHT! It's not worth your time/love/blood/sweat/tears/energy to spend three to four years confirming your suspicions.

Everybody's got their own values that are important to them. I've definitely got my own.

But rather than spending more time on my soap-box, I will pass the torch and use some of my favorite inspirational quotes to illustrate the qualities and attitudes I look for in an ideal creative working environment:

"One’s ability to succeed is always proportional to one’s willingness to fail." – Mike Dooley

"Giving positive reviews requires humility…A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence." – Gretchen Rubin

"To cultivate kindness is a valuable part of the business of life." – Samuel Johnson

"Turns out, many people in supervisory/leadership roles have become so afraid of having to act on edgy ideas and dance with uncertainty, they’ve unintentionally blinded themselves to the existence of the very thing they clamor for." – Jonathan Fields

"My hope was to create a space where we all feel comfortable being open about what we’ve been through and what we’re going through, what we’ve learned and what we’re learning, so we can help ourselves and each other." – Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha

"When people know that they do not know, then people can find their own way." – Tao Te Ching

"Fulfillment doesn’t come from clearing hurdles others set for you; it comes from clearing those you set for yourself.” – Robert S. Kaplan, Reaching Your Potential, Harvard Business Review

"The freedom to make mistakes provides the best environment for creativity.” – Jack Plotnick

"You may want something, work hard to achieve it, and in your process achieve something even greater than your original goal. So don’t get married to what you imagine is the result of your pursuit, just be involved in the pursuit. Besides, you already have a job. Your job is to be a joyful artist. No one can take that away from you…Remember, you don’t know that this job is what’s best for you. Getting this job could actually keep you from getting the wonderful job you were truly meant to get.” – 
Jack Plotnick

"Do you want to know why I have an issue with compromising, economizing and settling for less? I have to work just as hard whether the bar has been lowered or raised…Dream even bigger." – Mike Dooley

"Self-reflect on what your true desires in life are. Keep asking yourself if this is truly your desire or just something you think you out to do. Ask yourself if the desire reflects you in the present or if it is part of an outdated dream…You need to be inspired by your intentions and excited about cooperating. Those attitudes will draw support and help manifest those intentions." – Lena Stevens

"When you are on your death bed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness." – Inspiration and Chai Blog

"Trusting our values is more important to taking action than desiring and striving for certain outcomes." – Leo Babauta, Zen Habits

"Really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great." – Mark Twain

Pay attention. Listen. Observe. Ask questions. Follow your heart. You are right.

Grad school is a BIG commitment. Make sure you are evaluating if they are the right fit for YOU.

Loves,

V

73. Juilliard On The Web

Okay... This is soooooo freakin' cool!...

Juilliard posted an on-the-web Q&A session about the MFA program (though much of it applies to the BFA too).... It is soooo great. Informative. Inspiring. And no need to travel to NY... It's available to EVERYONE through the miracle of modern technology. How's that for equal opportunity!?

If anyone out there is applying to Juilliard this year... PLEASE SEE THE LINK BELOW.

CLICK ON ME.

And even if you're not applying to Juilliard this year, check it out.

Benefits to you for watching:

A. Inspiring educational philosophy... Some schools have a take-the-student's-money-give-em-a-diploma-and-kick-em-out-the-door mentality. Not naming any names, but I haven't had a lot of "hand-holding" in any of my past collegiate experiences. Now... I ask you... What would our national student body be like if educational institutions all over the country shared the same kind of philosophy in nurturing the qualities of innovation and creativity in their students as Juilliard does? We might have some better educated and happier citizens... And a society that creatively collaborates in coming up with SOLUTIONS to problems rather than wallowing in conformity and egoism. Not sayin' the Juilliard-philosophy is the answer for EVERYONE. Just askin' the question...

B. You will get an idea of WHY I'm soooooo excited to apply to this school. Sure the name "Juilliard" is impressive... but WHY is it impressive? Because they have GREAT TRAINING. They don't turn out cookie-cutter actors. They guide individuals to find their own unique voice and give them the opportunity to practice their craft in an environment that's safe to take RISKS. Because pushing yourself past the point of succeeding and beyond into BIG-FAIL territory is the fastest way to learn and grow. Success will come along as a result extracting the fear of failing. (I digress.) Juilliard is setting you up for a career as a COLLABORATOR, a contributor to the process of building a piece of theatre/film/whatever... They don't want you to be a tell-me-where-to-stand-and-I-will-say-my-line-and-look-pretty kind of actor. HEAVEN! I've attended TWO of the live Q&A sessions in NY and watched this Web thingy... and every time I learn something new and I LoVE to hear how the faculty react to the same questions in different ways. They are so respectful of each other and of the students. It. Is. Awesome. But don't take my word for it... experience it for yourself.

C. You may start watching and think... "Gee, you know who would LOVE this? [INSERT ASPIRING YOUNG ACTOR'S NAME HERE]. I think I shall forward it to them, because THEY might be inspired by this and want to apply to Juilliard. Perhaps, by forwarding this on I could help change the trajectory of someone's life and that would make me feel really GOOD." Share the LOVE. Support each other's dreams!

Anyhoo, still working on the Juilliard Personal Statement. Why is it soooo much easier for me to write this freakin' blog than it is to write this two page essay?

Riddle me that?

Get back to work, Wilcox.

:-p

Hugs,
V

"A great way to give thanks for the privileges we've got is to do important work. Your job, your internet access, your education, your role in a civilized society... all of them are a platform, a chance to do art, a way for you to give back and to honor those that enabled you to get to this point. For every person reading this there are a thousand people (literally a thousand) in underprivileged nations and situations that would love to have your slot. Don't waste it." - Seth Godin, Seth Godin's Blog

61. They've Messed With The Wrong One Now

"The capacity to do great things is mightily dependent upon one's ability to do little, baby, trite, mortal, dull and sometimes silly things." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

I'm reading Gail Collins' bestseller The Amazing Journey of American Women From 1960 To The Present: When Everything Changed (for funsies).

And you know who is truly an AMAZING, COURAGEOUS, SHARP-AS-A-TAC and TOTALLY INSPIRING woman?

Rosa Parks

I would love to be half as smart and courageous as she has been in serving her community. She has been a huge force for CHANGE in her own small way. Her simple act of sitting down and staying put on that bus in 1955 has impacted America in a huge way!

DO NOT MESS WITH THIS WOMAN. She is a gentle lady, but she will not be your doormat. She will stand-up for herself... by sitting down and politely refusing to accept disrespectful, unjust and discriminatory treatment.

Check out this quote from Gail's kick-ass history book...

"Parks, an old schoolmate remembered, was "self-sufficient, competent, and dignified" even as a child, a student who always wore a clean uniform, planned ahead, and never sneaked over to the boys' side of the school like some of the other girls did. Even in defiance, she was a perfect lady. When the Montgomery bus driver told her to give up her seat to a white man or be arrested, the petite, middle-aged seamstress calmly replied, "You may do that." Later, when her husband begged her not to allow herself to be turned into a test case, she coolly went ahead. ("He had a perfect terror of white people," recalled a friend. "The night we went to get Mrs. Parks from the jail, we went back to her apartment and he was drunk and he kept saying, 'Oh, Rosa, Rosa, don't do it, don't do it.... The white folks will kill you.'") When she appeared for her court date, she wore a long-sleeved black dress with white cuffs and a small velvet hat with pearls across the top. "They've messed with the wrong one now," cried out a black teenager, who turned out to be absolutely correct.... Rosa Parks's simple act of defiance in 1955 marked the beginning of the modern civil rights movement."

Rosa would no longer accept the status quo. She would no longer accept discrimination. She would no longer accept being treated with disrespect. She would not accept unequal treatment. She would not be undervalued. She knew she deserved better... and she knew her fellow black Americans deserved better too. So she sat and refused to get up. All. By. Herself.

Ballsy!

But she wasn't going to start a riot or scream and shout about it or stick a gun in somebody's face. She just sat down and would not move. She knew that was within her power to do and she did it. Simple.

I want to be like Rosa and find ways to "sit down for myself" and not accept disrespectful, unequal or discriminatory treatment from others. Thankfully I've never experienced discrimination to the extremes that Mrs. Parks and many others have had to endure, but I have certainly experienced some major disrespect and sometimes abusive treatment from others... verbal abuse, sexual harassment, gender discrimination, age discrimination, class discrimination, discrimination based on appearance or job-level or race... We've all had it at some point, in some way... and it feels TERRIBLE.

Disrespect that hits me close-to-home and breaks my heart to hear about... is disrespect toward actors. Ugh! It's so awful to hear stories like this one... CLICK HERE.

I wish that I was surprised by this incident when I first read about it, but unfortunately I wasn't shocked in the least. This kind of attitude and disrespectful treatment of actors is not uncommon and it really breaks my heart to acknowledge that reality.

Rudeness and disrespect are soooo unnecessary.

EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT.

Let's be kind to each other and treat each other with care, as equals on this journey of humanity. It takes a bit of extra effort sometimes, but it's soooooo worth it.

If you give respect, you are much more likely to get it back too. Nice, right?

Compassion and empathy are signs of strength. Cruelty is weak. And karma is REAL.

Rest assured... I would be very unlikely to attend a casting call for a casting director that has a reputation for rude or disrespectful behavior toward actors... whether they "tweet it" or not. Life's too short to put up with that kind of behavior.

Unprofessionalism?... No thanks!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Yes, please!

Accept nothing less.

Kindness is worth the effort. I'll sit down for that.

Love,
V

"Being fair and reasonable will earn you respect and admiration, but being genuinely kind will make you a total love magnet." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe