127. The Odds

"Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves." - E. Joseph Cossman

If you only consider "the odds," why would you ever attempt anything difficult or "competitive"? You wouldn't...you'd just give up before you'd even given yourself a chance to try. And maybe you'd pat yourself on the back for being "smart" and "logical" (a.k.a. safe and boring).

But has being SAFE ever helped you to better yourself or your life or your sense of self-worth or your financial outlook or...anything other than just being safe? 

I mean, "safe" is fine if you just want to continue to confirm for yourself that you have no other option than to do what you're doing now and venturing out would lead to almost certain failure.

"So many things now are completely up to us, more than ever before. Where and how and when we work and invest and interact and instruct and learn...If you think you have no choice but to do what you do now, you've already made a serious error. It seems to me that passing the buck on this merely because it's easier than choosing is precisely the wrong strategy. It enables an abdication of power that will be very hard to reverse. It's up to you, and that's part of the power that you've got." -Seth Godin

Fear surrounding the "slim odds of success" is a big obstacle to overcome and stops a lot of people trying things. And...yeah, sure...It's scary. It's daunting. It's overwhelming. It's discouraging. True. True. True. True.

But you know what's just SAD...Not trying at all. That's the saddest story I've ever heard.

So...What does this have to do with auditioning for graduate acting programs? Wellllll, these are some odds that have made my knees a little wobbly at times...

Perhaps it'll give you a little context, as to how many people audition for programs like Juilliard, here are some numbers (provided by Kathy Hood, Administrative Director of the Drama Division at Juilliard...Thanks, Kathy!):

Total # of applicants for Fall 2012: 1387 (964 BFA and 423 MFA)  

200 will audition in Chicago and 200 in San Francisco - the rest are auditioning in NYC.

On the day of my audition in New York (1/28/2012), 161 people were scheduled to audition and 155 actually auditioned (6 people cancelled due to illness, etc.) 

18 people were called back from that group. (We actually had 19 because one other applicant, called back from the previous day, joined our group) 

9 people were interviewed.

On Friday, February 17th, emails will be sent out inviting 40 applicants (of that 1387 that auditioned) to come to New York for two days of "final callbacks." These two days will provide an opportunity for applicants to experience two days of classes where they will work intensely with faculty and have the opportunity to speak with current students. 

From the "Final 40" there will be 18 students selected for admission.

I wish I was a fantastically skilled statistician, so that I could crunch numbers and make a logical analysis and all sorts of fancy conclusions based on the above information.

However, that is not the way my brain works. My brain looks at it this way...


1387 = auditioning
18 = accepted 

1369 = rejected  

my logical brain = "What the hell am I doing here?"
my artist brain = "Maybe one of those 18 could be...me?"
my heart = "How many times am I allowed to audition before they'll stop me from trying again?"


So...Brain...Who is ruling the roost here? Who's really got the power? You or the numbers? You give your power away when you think of yourself as statistic. Failure is NOT inevitable...unless you don't even try...then it's CERTAIN.

You are a powerful human being and you have the ability to stack the odds in your favor...by learning as much as you can about how others have achieved success (no matter how statistically unlikely...somebody's getting accepted to grad school this year and it might as well be YOU), adapting the knowledge you've gathered to your own situation and taking action, continuing to make pursuing your goal a part of your DAILY life (not something that you'll "get around to someday" or you'll start as soon as you "insert your personal excuse here"...mine usually has something to do with "not enough money" or "not enough time" or "too embarrassing"), then surround yourself with supportive and inspiring people who will cheer you on and help you achieve your goal...oh, and DON'T GIVE UP! 

Then you're GOLDEN! Success is almost a SURE thing...of course, it may not always show-up in the "terms" you set in the beginning... or the way you had imagined...but you WILL be successful... eventually. Be patient. Be dedicated. SOMETHING awesome will happen. 

True story. 

I hope that will be YOUR story.

I hope that will be MY story.

F*#k the numbers.

Loves,

Virginia

"Success is not measured by what a man accomplishes, but by the opposition he has encountered and the courage with which he has maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." – Charles Lindbergh

  

 

50. My Ideal Body

“Shift your focus from what works in a controlled, “test tube” environment to what works in the real world. If you’re one of the small percentage of people who are genuinely drawn to lifting weights and using machines based on repetition and distraction, by all means have at it. You’re one of the lucky few. If not, cast a wider net to explore not only what, on paper, burns the most calories or builds the most muscle, but what makes exercise so enjoyable, engaging, and fulfilling that you will do whatever it takes to add more to your life every day. You need to find a way to feel good about exercising and to feel good while exercising.” – Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear And Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Everybody knows they should exercise and that the benefits are a healthier body and a longer life-span.  Duh! But I have found those to be not-so-motivating motivations when it comes to actually taking ACTION and exercising consistently. And I suspect I'm not the only one. 

Getting back into my ideal body, a.k.a… how I looked/felt when I was 19… has been a huge part of my creative process this year. Yes… CREATIVE… because with all my daily choices, I realize that I am slowly creating the body that I am living in! 

So I might as well make some good choices to feel good in the body that I've got, right? 

Simple. Logical. 

But how to motivate myself to not just talk about doing it, but to actually DO IT?  

Since May 2011, I have been committed myself to re-learning how I think about my relationship with food and my relationship with various kinds of physical activities… and all of this with the assistance, guidance, care and sometimes annoying enthusiasm of My Body Tutor, Adam Gilbert.

Actually, I feel like I haven’t been completely transparent with you guys by not writing about him more on the blog… because he’s such a HUGE part of my life every single day and a major champion of mine in ALL things. And, seriously, I have lost 20 lbs since May and I feel wonderful… and during that time I had two surgeries and still lost weight and he’s helped me to overcome my fear of getting back into dance class again and incorporating pilates and yoga and even some weight-lifting into my weekly routine… which I NEVER thought I would feel comfortable doing. I am in the best shape of my life as I sit and write these words. True story.

I will never regret my investment of time and money and energy working with Adam. I am a much more fearless and waaaay happier individual because of the personal growth I have experienced as a result of my daily commitment to my body and my time with MBT.

I found Adam, by chance, reading a blog post that he had written about consistency being the key to success in fitness. His philosophy about sustainable lifestyle change that works for YOU and gets you the results that YOU want… made me so excited to work with him! I had been hoping to find something like his program for a while and it came across my computer screen at just the right time for me. 

I was sick of feeling crappy in my body. I was ready to make a change. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! What was I so afraid of? Failing? I was already failing every single day to support my body in being the healthiest it could be. Now is the time for ACTION!

I knew what I needed to do (exercise & eat more nutritious foods) and I knew how I wanted to feel (SEXY/ENERGETIC/YOUNG) and how I wanted to look (HOT), I just didn’t know HOW I would motivate myself to be consistent enough to make those things happen or if the things I thought might work would actually yield the results that I was hoping for.

And I was scared. I'm no fitness expert! I needed SUPPORT!!! 

I knew I would need someone to tell me to stick with it when I didn't feel like sticking with it anymore and someone would be there to applaud me when I chose to have frozen yogurt instead of donuts!!! And from reading Adam's blog and alll about his fitness philosophy, he seemed like the right guy for the job!

I knew that if I committed to working with MBT, that he would be my resource for all fitness/nutrition related knowledge and that if I had a question he didn’t already know the answer to… that he’d find out for me. AND he'd totally be my champion, my cheerleader through the tough parts of the journey. Because, let me tell you, this guy is MOTIVATED. He LOOOOOVES his job… helping people change their own lives and find long-term, happy, sustainable ways to eat healthy and exercise in ways that his clients will be able to ENJOY and therefore CONTINUE and feel AMAZING in their bodies and EMPOWERED to take control of the one thing that many people feel like they can’t control… their own body.

I can honestly say that I would not be writing this blog, if it wasn’t for Adam. (He has his own awesome blog too at Guru Gilbert.) And was generous enough to be my blog mentor also! Waaaaay above and beyond his duties as my body tutor.

I could seriously write a novel about all of the ways that MyBodyTutor has helped me to grow as a human being, both physically and psychologically. But most importantly, it has shown me what awesome outcomes can happen by committing to doing something consistently, a little bit at a time, every single day.

Baby steps get big things done… It's not overwhelming if you just take it from moment to moment... One meal, one workout at a time…

All these same transformational skills I’ve learned from doing MBT can lead to success in any goal or whatever kind of life you might want to create for yourself.

One blog post… one monologue… one audition at a time… Adam and I joke that when I get accepted to grad school I can write a testimonial for him called “How MBT got me into Graduate School.” Ha!!! Wouldn’t that be awesome!?! Hope I actually get to write that.

Get the support you need in order to help yourself succeed, I say! And though Adam has HELPED me to make things happen… I know that it was actually ME that did the work… myself. And that makes me feel sooooo great. I CAN CHANGE and it doesn’t have to be HARD and I don’t have to do it someone else’s way. It can be FUN and EASY and SLOW and SUSTAINABLE and I can do it MY way and be successful at reaching my goals. That’s what works for me and the kind of life experience I want to have. And I FEEEEL wonderful… mind and body… for giving myself the gift of a commitment to a healthier me!

Anyhoo, I love MBT. Had to share.

If you have any questions about My Body Tutor, please feel free to email me at viavirginiawilcox at gmail dot com or you can email Adam Gilbert directly at adam at my body tutor dot com. It’s an online program. So he can help you get into your ideal body from ANYWHERE!

You can do it. No joke.

And when you do get into your ideal body and you feel F#*ING AMAZING... I do also accept "thank you" notes at the above email address as well. 

:-)

Be well,

Virginia

Photo by Dylan Patrick Photography

“My idea of hell would be seeing what you could have accomplished if only you had tried your hardest.” – Adam Gilbert, My Body Tutor

  

37. Uncertainty

"Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it's all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn't happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative. When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Knowing things = so overrated... Moving forward anyway?... Priceless.

Chew on that with your Monday morning coffee.

Loves,
V

“To know that you do not know is the best.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

30. Become Your Dream

“I want to go on talking to you as freely and intimately about what we live and die for as if I knew you better than anyone else whom you know.” – Tennessee Williams

Sooo last week on Sunday I gave you a homework assignment that I told you NOT TO THINK ABOUT all week long. I know that was a tough assignment, but I believe in you and your ability to follow through with this one. LOL!

(If you are just joining us this week, CLICK HERE to see post #24 from last Sunday.) 

Okay, so… back to the question in question…

On a fine summer’s day in Central Park, while sitting on an ancient rock, surrounded by supportive friends almost three years ago, with my Artist’s Way group, … I asked myself this question... and the answer slowly began to transform the trajectory of my life.

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

A: (My answer to myself) What would I do??? 

I would earn an MFA in acting from one of the top drama programs in the country.

This may not be “new news” to you now. You probably could have guessed my answer after reading all this process/grad-school-obsessed blogging that shows up in your inbox every day (except Friday). But for me, three years ago, this was profoundly “new news.” … And being that I had NEVER auditioned for ANY schmancy drama schools before (my undergrad degree is in History), I was thoroughly overwhelmed and terrified by the prospect.

So the first person that had to stop telling me that I couldn’t do it… was ME. 

I think I was the most difficult person to convince… for sure. And it wasn’t an ACTIVE process. It was just like this week’s homework assignment… me NOT thinking about it for years, just letting it sit on the back-burner and simmer… until I finally sat down on that rock in Central Park one day and admitted to myself that this scary-thing-that-I-had-never-done-and-would-probably-fail-at was the one thing that I really wanted to do. 

I had to find a way to get over my fear and go for it… but HOW?

Rewind..

So, I knew what I wanted... Great.

And, after a while, I had built up enough confidence that I could actually tell myself (fairly believably) that it could be possible for me to have it... Great.

But HOW to make it happen? Ugh. So far to gooooo! So many things to DO. Bleh! Overwhelming!!!... Maybe I should go watch TV and eat microwave popcorn? NO!!!!

This is my "HOW"...That I slowly learned over-time works best for me... I focus on one thing… TODAY. 

Today is my focus. Right now. Today.

What is one TINY, EASY, NOT-OVERWHELMING thing that I can do TODAY to move a millimeter closer to becoming my dream? I don’t want to freak myself out by doing anything too BIG… So by doing something SMALL, I am ensuring that I am actually doing SOMETHING.

And many, many small somethings, done consistently every day, lead to large, awesome, successful outcomes that don’t feel like they’ve been so HARD to achieve after all. Easy. I can do easy.

"In baseball, my theory is to strive for consistency, not to worry about the numbers. If you dwell on statistics you get shortsighted, if you aim for consistency, the numbers will be there at the end." - Tom Seaver

So in a nutshell… that’s my way, my process, my practice...

Do it small. Do it daily... That’s how I roll.

“You can relax about your acting career. You are giving it attention and focus every day. You cannot fail to progress.” – Unknown…  (Maybe Kathryn Bild said it? Sounds like something she’d say.)

And it all started with a question, a powerful question…

So, back to the homework... I am posing this question for YOU again. And this time I want you to think about it and DO the following:

1. Ask yourself the question and listen for the answer without judgment. The first thing that comes into your mind is often the most honest answer. So go with your gut. (This may be the hard part… Example: “Ugh, my gut… We are estranged. We hardly speak… How can I know the mind of my gut?” …. Shhhhhh. Breathe. Listen. Be patient. It may not answer today, but it WILL answer.)
2. Tell what your gut says. Admit it. (This may also be the hard part… Example: “Ok, I clearly hear what my gut has been trying to say… But I really don’t want to repeat my gut’s message because… [insert your own fear-based excuse/justification here].” …. Breathe. Feel the fear. It’s great! That’s how you know you’re on the right track.) 
3. DO something about it TODAY. (Don’t let fear keep you paralyzed. Fear-Schmere!!! Excuses-Schmecsuses!!! Do the smallest thing you can handle in this moment to move towards becoming your dream, even if that thing is NOT THINKING ABOUT IT for another week/month/2-years. What is the one tiny thing that you will do TODAY to move one step closer to becoming your dream? Think EASY... Right... Good.... No...wait... even EASIER than that.... The thing that's so easy that you cannot possibly come up with an excuse for not doing it... That's forward motion.) 

Get ready... Here it is... Your question...

Q: What would you do if nobody told you that you couldn’t (not even you)?

Think... Think... Think...

Let me know you’re out there. It can’t be a conversation unless you participate. Your perspective is valuable and your words are more powerful than you know. Take your soap box and stand on it. Here… (She brushes off the soap box with a smile.) You can borrow mine! Let your voice be heard for posterity by commenting on the blog page. If you're reading this by email or FB you can comment on the blog page by CLICKING HERE. 

Don't want to freak you out tooo much... but people do read these comments, ya know. Show yourself how freakin’ courageous and ballsy you are… and hit me with your thoughts RIGHT NOW. To comment or not to comment... Up to you. 

My guts = spilled... Your turn!!! :-)

Yours,

Virginia

"The thing about making it big, and doing it fast, is that invariably the first steps will be small and slow. Which oddly, for many, is the same reason they don't take them." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

 P.S. If you’ve read this far… You definitely deserve a gold-star for commitment. Gold-star for YOU!!!!

14. Take Care of #1

“In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments; there are consequences.” – Robert Green Ingersoll, lawyer & orator (1833-1899)

On Sunday, I shared with you all my Five Daily Practices That Lead to Happiness.  Number one on my list is “Sleep: Get 8 hours every night.”

Have I been doing this, you ask???? Noooope. Have I been happy about it? Noooope.

And yet, I am continuing to choose to prioritize other things over sleeping. Why? It seems silly to have to miss out on awake-things that I’d like to be doing in order to have some quality time with my pillow.

But in reality, when I don’t get enough rest, I am not really enjoying my life while awake anyway, not as much as I would if I was well-rested.

Also, “Take Care of Yourself First” is number one of my Personal Process Guidelines (see the side-bar of the blog page). And getting plenty of sleep is definitely in-line with proper self-care. (Wow! Is that me or my father speaking? LOL!)

Number One... On two separate lists... Clearly, I am trying to teach myself a lesson… Will I ever learn it? 

Maybe. Maybe not.

At least, I’m aware that my lack-of-sleep-choice leads to unhappiness for me. That awareness helps me to... 

A. Not stress-out about why I feel cranky

B. Not blame others for my own choice not to prioritize sleeping

If I don’t sleep enough, then I can’t really be fully present in my relationships or fully engaged in my work… and that’s just sad.

So, go to bed earlier, Wilcox!!!!

Ugh! I know. I know. I will.

Tonight… I will be in bed at 10:30pm… NO EXCUSES! (And no Facebook.)

;-)

ZZZZZZzzzzz,

Virginia

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed." - George Burns