Update #5: Silver Linings

“When life gives you lemons, you don't make lemonade. You use the seeds to plant a whole orchard - an entire franchise! Or you could just...drink lemonade someone else has made, from a can.” - Anton St. Maarten

Hi Kids!

Here's the latest "what's happening with grad school" update for those who are interested...

Yale =  Not happening (old news)

Juilliard = Not happening (old news)

USD Old Globe = Not happening (rejection letter received in the mail yesterday)

NYU = Still Pending (on the waiting list, but not feeling optimistic)

Sooooo....My Old Globe rejection letter was received yesterday.

When I got home, there was a pile of mail sitting on the table and a package from a friend.

I saw the envelope from USD and my heart jumped up into my throat. I knew exactly what it was before opening it.

"F*^k." I said. Actually, it was more like..."F*^kity, f@#kin'-A. Really? F%^k."

Sigh.

Double sigh.

Rip open letter to confirm suspicions.

Sigh.

Scanning...."Thank you for your interest and participation in the application process for fall 2013...blah, blah, blah....We wish we had more positions to offer...wish you well wherever your future plans may take you."

Bleh.

Sitting.

Staring at my shoes.

Holding breath.

Oh, wait for it...here it comes...

Tears.... Welling. And dripping down my cheeks.

Like a baby.

Confirmed. No Old Globe.

Dammit.

Sigh.

Moment of silent, tearful sadness and then I notice the package from my dear old friend sitting on the table. We've known each other since 1st grade and she lives across the country. What could she possibly be sending me? It's not my birthday.

The box is wrapped up like Fort Knox, but when I finally get it open...this is what is enclosed...

A card of encouragement along with a small blank journal.

How did she know???

She gave me permission to post what she wrote inside. I hope that it will be an encouragement to all of you too...that the Universe sends us just what we need at the right time. This definitely helped to soften the blow of disappointment.

How 'bout this? Just think of this as a letter from your old friend to you! Here's what she wrote...


Dear (YOU),

What's that saying? "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?" All of your inner and outer work you have done and continue to do has a purpose, and I truly believe that hard work (which is just what you have been doing) never goes without success.

When I teach art, I often say that "sometimes the picture we intend to draw doesn't come out the way we want, see or have planned. That can be exponentially frustrating and disappointing, but it doesn't mean we should throw the picture away, or that it isn't good. It may even be possible to turn the picture into something new we hadn't imagined that we really love."

Now is your chance to embrace your amazing, smart, talented, unique, MORE-than-worthy-of-grad-school-or-Broadway-or-any-other-successful-path self and see what new ideas you have may unfold.

I am so proud of you. You are an inspiration and I hope you are proud of yourself.

Believe in yourself...Some of the best artists/performers don't have degrees, they have a strong will and dedication to the fulfillment of their ideas. You already possess these rare qualities, so allow yourself the space to shine.

I am always thinking of you and love you very much old friend.

XOXO.

And then I got an awesome supportive text from another friend with a slightly different kind of perspective...

Imagine you're receiving this one from a respected colleague who has been through it all and has the war-wounds to prove it!

First of all. F*^k them. It's their loss. F&#k 'em in the ear. If they don't like that f^%k 'em in the other ear. Secondly, you're past that bulls#*t. Thirdly, I am happy to talk about it. But I don't think you need mentorship. You need to trust your aesthetic. And go for it. Figure out what you want to say and scream it! Fourthly...F$$k 'em! P.S. Sounds like you are poised at the edge of discovery. Yay for you! Keep up the gallant fight sister!!!

No matter which approach appeals to you the most...Isn't it awesome to have amazing, supportive friends!?

Be grateful for your mentors, heros, champions, companions, partners, friends!!!

Hug them! Love them! Tell them how much you appreciate them right now! Without them...How could we possibly attempt to step outside of our comfort zones and dare greatly!?

There are more silver linings to come. But that's all I have time to write about for now. Thanks for reading.

Loves,
Virginia

"Mentoring can play an extraordinary role in cultivating the mind-set needed to take creative risks and keep operating in that anxious place where the best stuff tends to be birthed -- especially when your mentor is someone who's been where you are, lived, breathed, and danced with the same or similar-enough demons and elations, and found a way to harness them to create genius." 

- Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance

Update #1: Dear Virginia (A Letter To Myself)

"Reality" is not that you are weak, and dream of becoming strong. Poor, and dream of becoming rich. Alone, and dream of having friends. But that you're already strong, rich, and among friends. Yet, at times, dream that you're not." - Mike Dooley

Hello, folks!

Remember me?

I thought it was about time I sent out an update to inform you of the following:

A. I am still alive.

B. Hurricane Sandy is bitch-slapping NYC right now. (So far, so good at my home in Astoria. We've got power and I can blog.)

C. And....No. An alternate slot never did open up for me at NYU Grad Acting for Fall of 2012.

:(

Whah-whah.

Soooooo, naturally the next question is...

"Well, Virginia, are you going to audition again for grad school for the 4th year in a row?"

Am I?

Hmmmm?

Well, I am acting like I am. I am in motion. I have already chosen a few monologues. I have partially filled out the online application (at NYU at least). I have gotten together with a new monologue coach a few times. So I am taking ACTION and moving FORWARD.

But there is something not quite right. You see...

It's my heart.

My heart is not IN it...Certainly not like it was this time last year.

Now it's at this point where I have to ask myself...WHY is that?

Is it just resistance? Am I tired? Is it a passing feeling? Or am I simply ready to move on to something else?

The truth: I don't know the answer.

What do I really want at this point in my life? Is grad school really my next best step or no?

I got so close last year! Am I really ready to give up the idea of grad school altogether?

Yikes. So many ????s. And answers? Zero.

Allllll this questioning has been taking up a lot of my mental energy lately. (Exhausting.)

And I've been keeping myself busy, busy, busy... trying to AVOID reflecting on it...really. (Exhausting.)

And then... BAM! (Random out-of-the-blue occurance.)

Tonight I came across this letter that I wrote to myself back in 2009. (It was part of an exercise I wrote while working through the book Walking In This World by Julia Cameron.)

This self-addressed letter is very heartfelt and encouraging and honest.

I think I had some really important things to say to me. I feel like I am still learning all the same lessons (as always) and needing the same things reinforced for me (again and again). Maybe some day I'll be able to really change my ways of thinking, maybe not.

But since this blog is all about self-disclosing my creative process, I thought I'd share the letter with you. It's very much an accurate reflection of my thought process and how I try to chose more self-nuturing thoughts, if possible.

Always gotta remind myself that my goal of attending grad school is just ONE pathway toward my ultimate goal: living a good life. (And not somebody else's definition of a good life. MY idea of a good life. Which I'm still discovering what that is for me exactly.)

I guess, what I'm realizing is...

I'm already living a good life. Right. Now.

I have a lot of awesome things to be grateful for in my life.

And if I can slow down long enough to reflect on that, then I get this amazing feeling...unfamiliar and strange as it is... The feeling is called: contentment.

Ahhhhhh! Contentment is scary though.

I mean, what if I get so happy that I never want to DO anything again? And I just get totally unmotivated and LAZY? Aren't I fueled by my discontentment? (Yes, that is my crazy/irrational fear and subconscious resistance to happiness.)

(Yes. I am cray-cray-crayzi.)

So, anyways, this letter that I wrote to myself in 2009 is just exactly what I needed to read tonight.

I wish I could really learn to take my own advice. My 2009 self is so much smarter than my now-self. Ha!

I typed out the letter below...

Maybe there's some stuff in there you might find helpful to reflect on too. Especially on those days when the rainclouds seem to block out all the sunlight. ('Cause you know the sun is still there, you just can't see it behind all those pesky clouds!)



~

"Oh, Virginia...Don't you know yourself by now?"

"Nope. I remain a mystery to me."

~



Dear Virginia,

Slow your pace down to whatever feels most comfortable for you. There is no rush. You are on your own timetable. 

Trust your instincts. You know what feel right and what is going to be best for you. Trust that and don't be afraid.

Don't make decisions when you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired either. You're not in any spot to be making decisions during those times.

Forgive your body for it's fallibility and imperfections. Your body can heal itself from within. 

You are a human being, not a robot. Humans need rest and care. Take time to take care of yourself. (You always feel good when you do!)

Positive change is happening. (Even when you can't see it.)

You are putting good energy out into the universe. You will be provided for.

Your right path will become clear. 

Have confidence in yourself and in the potential of your talent. You have gifts and you take joy in using them.

You have so much to give. People will recognize you for your contributions. Do what you love and the money will come.

Trust in the right order of things. Be patient.

You will be ready when the time comes. Don't be afraid.

Be brave. Be confident. Be courageous.

You can create your own reality of joy and hope in your own mind. Fill your mind with positive and inspiring words.

Meditate.

Practice yoga and exercise when you are feeling low. It helps you.

Dance. 

Sing.

Music brings you joy.

Ask for help when you are afraid. You are not alone. People love you and are happy to help you when you are in need.

Know that EVERYTHING changes...The best of circumstances and the worst of circumstances are just temporary.

Live in appreciation for the gifts that you have been given.

Don't be blind. Open your eyes to the beauty and joy that is all around you.

Be open and loving. People resonate with you when you are being authentically yourself.

Vulnerability is courageuos.

Trust that you are in the right place right now and that you are moving toward the next good thing.

In the mean time, don't feel guilty about taking it slow and not working so hard to make things happen. They WILL happen, in the good and right time.

I love you. You should love you, too! You are unique and beautiful.

Continue to dream big. But take comfort in the little things.

Don't apologize for taking time for yourself on a daily basis. That's the most important gift you can give yourself...time alone...to just...BE.

Believe in yourself and other people with believe in you too.

You are an inspiring and loving person with a solid moral compass. You don't have to prove it. Just be it.

Be happy.

Rest.

Play.

Open your mind.

Know that you are doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing. Your future is bright and hopeful.

You are lovable and worthy of being loved.

You are talented and you have creativity bubbling inside you. The outlets for that creativity will find you.

Keep going.

Listen to your heart. You'll know when it feels right.

Don't waste your energy doubting.

Don't give up on yourself.

Enjoy the ride. You cannot anticipate all the wonders you'll see along the way...

Love,
Virginia 
Shanghai, China (2009)


My reply:

Dear me,

Thanks for writing this letter and hiding it in that pile of old journals where I might stumble upon it. You're always looking out for me. I appreciate that...as you well know.

Gratefully yours,
Virginia
Astoria, NY (2012)

~

Anyone else out there debating about auditioning for grad school again next year? Share your thought process in the comments. Would love to hear about your journey.

176. NYU: Alternate Universe

"If it is just financial security you crave, that can be achieved at any level. If it is recognition you desire, learn to give that to yourself. If it is for the joy of doing your profession...then keep working at it, being confident that you will have plenty of opportunities to practice your trade as you rise through the ranks." - Peter Pamela Rose

"Riches come, if they come at all, in response to definite demands, based upon the application of definite principles, and not by chance or luck." - Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

Yesterday was a very...um....overwhelming day. It's a lot to wrap my brain around and I'm still processing it all...And in the interest of transparency...I'll share some of it with you.

At work yesterday, the HR department had a financial planning advisor come in and meet with each employee individually to talk about the company savings plan and investing for retirement.

(Yes, I know it's Madison Avenue...And it's an office job...And it's not what I've DREAMED of doing...It's not ACTING. But I consider myself EXTREMELY fortunate because I do work for one of the greatest companies in the world. They take care of their employees like NO OTHER. They're constantly surpassing my expectations in that respect. I am blessed. Without the financial support of this day-job, I never would have been able to have the time/energy/wherewithall to invest in this blog.)

So, anyway...I've got my appointment with this financial advisor. And we're sitting in front of his laptop and he's got my personal retirement savings plan account up on his screen. And he says, "So if you keep doing exactly what you're doing now...and if you were to stay with this company until you were 65...and you kept investing 9% of your pay...with the company's matching program...plus pension...plus ya da, ya da and this and that...Would you like to see how much money you'll have in the bank come retirement?"

And he clicks this "CALCULATE" button on the screen. And the little chart starts to populate and a number pops up at the bottom of the screen.

$2,000,000

I don't remember exactly what the number was...But that was the ballpark.

That would be TWO MILLION DOLLARS, folks.

NO JOKE.

Here's some context: In the house I grew up in...I'd be lucky to have TWO DOLLARS in my pocket...TWENTY DOLLARS felt like RICHES. So...to me...the idea...that I, Virginia, could EVER actually have TWO MILLION DOLLARS in the bank is TOTALLY INSANE.

My brain can hardly accept this as real. It's gotta be fake right? That's a fake number. LOL!

Nope. Real. I could actually (someday) have a two million dollar retirement fund. Easy.

One catch though...

All I'd have to do to be assured a comfy retirement nest-egg of two million dollars...is stay right where I am for the next 35 years. 

"Perhaps the hardest linear process to let go of is the accounting part of the mind that links the amount of money you have in the bank to what is possible. Get rid of this limiting process, be practical but don't base your goals and commitments on something as powerless as money. Practice seeing money as an energy and play with increasing that energy instead of counting dollars." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I like my job okay....but it's not what I want to do with my LIFE. And it's waaaaaay overwhelming to even consider staying in it for the next 35 years...because I really, really, really, really want to be an actor.

But here I am...looking at my number...my two million dollars number. And my commitment to my calling is being very blatantly tested.

I am asking myself...What do you REALLY value, Virginia? What is REALLY your priority?

How much do you actually want to be an actor for a living? Is there a dollar amount that you'd be willing to trade in for your dreams? If being a professional actor meant you had to give up two million dollars, would you still do it?

This is a real dilemma. It's real risk. It's personal. It's not fake. This is my actual life...not a hypothetical situation.

DO I REALLY WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR if I can retire with two million dollars by being an office monkey?

LOL!!!!

Ugggggh....I could be happy having acting be my hobby, right? I mean...two million dollars is a lot of money...(rationalization, rationalization)...Think of all the good I could do with two million dollars...(my brain is f r e a k i n g o u t)

Huh. Um. Errr...Cannot deal with this right now psychologically...

And well... I guess I don't really have to think about that right now anyway...(thank goodness!)...'cause it's not like I got accepted into grad school this year. So I can just put off having to consider choosing a two million dollar pay-off vs. having the life of an actor. Whew!!!

Cut to:
Later on that day...

I am sitting at my computer working on the blog (Jeremy Rishe Interview Part Three)...and my phone rings.

212 number that I don't recognize.

I answer.

"Hello? This is Virginia."

"Hi Virginia. This is Janet Zarish from NYU. How are you?"

(My brain....WTF? What is happening right now?)

V: "Hi Janet. I'm great. How are you?"

J: "Oh, I'm good... You must be wondering why I'm calling. Just wanted to let you know that we've already selected everyone for our MFA class for this year..."

Whah-whah.... :-(

J: "But every year we also select up to four alternates.... These are actors that we LOVE and that we'd like to be able to fit into the class, if...in the case anyone in the currently accepted class decides that they cannot attend the program after all....This year we've selected two alternates. We'd like you to be one of them. Would that be something you'd be interested in?"

Me = SHOCKED

V: "Me? Interested? Sure!!! So...wait a minute...Let me get this straight...If someone drops out before classes begin, then...potentially...you'd call me and I'd be accepted into the program as an alternate? And this isn't the 200-people-alternate-list, right?...There's only two of us?"

J: "Yes."

V: (Gulp)..."Does that ever actually happen? Do people actually drop out after being accepted to NYU Grad Acting?"

J: "It certainly doesn't happen every year, but it does occasionally. So there's a chance, but there's really no guarantee...because all the students have already accepted their offers and have committed themselves to the program.... But you never know... Life happens, plans change, people sometimes decide to move in a different direction. We've even had people drop out the day before class begins."

(Oh dear lord...I'd hope to have at least two weeks notice.)

V: "I see...Well, I guess it's really up to the Universe now, isn't it? I mean, if I'm meant to be in the program then a spot will open up for me, I suppose...And if not...Well, I just want to go on the record saying that I love the program and I think what you guys do changes actors lives and I support it whole-heartedly...And I will continue to support the program whether it works out for me this year or not."

J: "Awwww...And that shows what a sweet person you are, Virginia."

V: "Thanks, Janet...I really mean it."

J: "I know you do. That's why we love you."

V: "Well, thanks for calling. You've got my number. If you need me, you know where to find me. Please feel free to call any time!"

J: "Thank you. And if I don't get to talk with you soon...I want to personally wish you a wonderful year full of creative growth."

V: "Thank you, Janet!!! That's so kind of you. Thank you so much for calling . I'm really honored to be an alternate. Thank you so much. Bye."

J: "Bye, Virginia."

Ahhhhhhhhh!

OMG. WTF. What is my life right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????

"Acknowledge that there is much more going on at a greater level than what you can track in your mind. Be at peace, don't worry, trust your committed intentions, and don't believe everything you see or hear, especially when it has been determined by another's calculations of the rational mind. Everyone will be trying to make sense of what they can't make sense of." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Crap.

Remember earlier...My unanswered question...."How much do you actually want to be an actor for a living? If being a professional actor meant you had to give up two million dollars, would you still do it?"...

Oh my.

Guess I am going to have to think about that one after all.

"Beware of the mind trying to convince you that you have it as good as it gets, or that it is too hard at this point to make changes, or that you cannot afford it, or that you do not have the power or energy or wisdom to accomplish it on your own. Thank your mind for sharing, don't give in, and follow your intuition." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Happy to have a dilemma though.

I know it'll all work out the way it's supposed to...I am sooooooo not in control of any of this...CLEARLY.

All I can do now...is wait for my story to unfold.

Loves,
V

"Whenever something doesn't work out the way you thought it would, instead of thinking that something went wrong, see it as something that went unexpectedly well, but for reasons that are not yet apparent. Everything plays in your favor." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

151. The Future

Ahhhh...Where we've been...and where we're going...it's all soooooo unpredictable...

...but truly...the future turns out even better than we used to imagine.

(Future by Canon in 2D)

"Where will I be five years from now? I delight in not knowing. That's one of the greatest things about life-its wonderful surprises."

- Mario Thomas

Sodontworryaboudit.

Loves,
Virginia

99. Failure Club

OMG!!!! This is the coooooolest show! Click on the link below...

FAILURE CLUB
(Every Friday on Yahoo! Screen...Watch out NBC...You've got some competition.)

Dude...We should all be in Failure Club.

Start your own!!!!!

Why Failure Club is awesome...
1. Provides accountability
2. Provides moral support
3. You can help motivate others as you, yourself, are motivated
4. You can talk through your psychological issues and fears with others who can empathize and encourage you
5. Somebody is there to notice your progress...and call you out when your are procrastinating
6. The group can give suggestions for resources and next steps
7. The group can help you work through your own resistance
8. You are putting yourself in a SAFE environment of supportive and knowledgeable people where you will be able to take RISKS and FAIL BIG...and realize that you can get through it and you'll be a more courageous human being as a result!

"But, I'm afraid!"... Set yourself up to succeed by giving yourself some SUPPORT.

Q: How do I build-up confidence?
A: Push through the fear and do something that TERRIFIES you!

It doesn't even matter what happens as a RESULT of that fearful action...success...failure...whatever...You will feel like a ROCK STAR...from just having DONE that thing that you've been sooooo afraid of doing.

Awesome.

The issues addressed on this show are allllll the things that successful people MUST work through in order to  be okay with failure and ... BE SUCCESSFUL!

My question to YOU:
If you knew that allllll you had to do to make your dreams come true was overcome your fear of failing... could you do it?

Thinkaboutdit.

Loves,
V

93. So Much Good Stuff

"Decide to be happy and the world will beat a path to your door." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

Okay, so I'm going a little bit crazy with all the awesomeness that's been coming my way lately. I feel like the Universe is listening to me and bringing me EXACTLY who I need into my life right and left. It's uncanny!

The only thing I can think to explain it...is that when you're super clear about what you want and you keep putting it out there...that that's what you want...well, eventually it comes to you... it walks through the door and says hello...and more than that...hugs you and makes you feel like you're reuniting with an old friend...when you've only just met.

...So that's THAT awesomeness.

Annnnd there's THIS awesomeness that Juilliard just uploaded to their YouTube channel...

I love modern technology. When I was graduating high school, I didn't have access to stuff like this video. I feel like it demystifies the whole "Juilliard" fortress and makes the school seem HUMAN and accessible...which it IS! Soooo coool! And very well-done as well. Love the music and the editing. They really did an awesome job with it. They definitely succeed in making me want to apply...which, HOORAY...I am.

(My audition for Julliard will be January 28, 2012, by the way...So you can mark your calendars to PRAY for me that day or send me GOOD-VIBES or send me your love, luck, support, whatever...I will take it all! It's alllllll much appreciated!)

Another awesome thing...

Anyone remember Jack Plotnick from waaaaaaay back when in post number 42? Wellllll, he was in New York this week doing some acting workshops. I was LUCKY enough to get a spot and had a freakin' amazing experience. I was AGAIN reminded that I am a terrible judge of my own work. It seems that when I am at my most UNCOMFORTABLE and UNCERTAIN...that's when I am doing my best work.

So my question is...How can I get more comfortable with being uncomfortable and more certain that uncertainty leads to brilliance?

Ha ha ha! That's how my brain works...MUST BE COMFORTABLE...MUST BE CERTAIN...But for acting that also means...MUST BE BORING. So... gotta let go of the need to be comfortable.

Jack's got some amazing tools for doing just that and sooooo much more in his book New Thoughts For Actors. Check it out. It's FREE. And he's on YouTube toooooo!!!

Exciting!!!!

Let's see... What else?

Had a motivating lunch with MyBodyTutor, Adam Gilbert and two other MBT clients...the talented and wonderful Nick Dothee and Abby Burke. In November, I practically fell completely off the MBT radar...Got sooooo overwhelmed with work. But now I'm back...and ready to increase my fitness for 2012 and beyond! Yay! It helps to hear how many great things Nick and Abby have to say about the way they feel from eating healthy and exercising. It seriously changes your brain chemistry and makes the world seem like a better place. True story.

OHHHHH! And... memorization...remember how freaked-out I was about getting those monologues in my brain...all FOUR of them. Well, this is my new favorite memorization secret...I currently learn lines best on the elliptical machine. I did three consecutive days of 30 minutes on the elliptical...reading a monologue out loud...over...and over...and over...and...by the third day...I was completely off book! I mean, WOW!!!! I learned that monologue in an-hour-and-a-half over three days. I think that's pretty freakin' fast.

Yes... I did look like a crazy person talking to myself. Did I care? NOOOO! If it'll help get me into grad school...I'm happy to look like a crazy person at the gym any day.

I was AMAZED at how fast the memorization happened with this concentrated method...no music...no tv...just my script, my breath and my heart beat. Yes! It's incredible how the body and the mind are connected. I don't know why I'm so surprised by that...but it's just crazy to think that the best way to remember words (which I think of as an intellectual thing) is to move the body (a physical thing). So I will continue with this mind/body technique until all four monologues are second-nature to me.

Still gotta submit my online applications for NYU and Yale...hoping to get to that this weekend.

But everything's in the works and movin' and I am excited by all the support the Universe brings when you initiate some forward motion.

So keep on keepin' on, people!

Loves,
Virginia

"The fat lady hasn't started singing yet, but she's holding the mike and the band is about to play." - Craig Moffett, Investment Analyst

90. Half-Way Give-Away

"Whenever you set out to do what's never been done before, or never been done in the way you want to do it, you risk losing all sorts of things -- time that could have been spent doing something else, money that could have been saved, prestige, status, income, or the perception of security. But the possibility of loss is also a signpost that what you're doing really matters, that you're vested in both the process and the outcome. Knowing that fuels a deeper commitment to action and to striving not just to create something, but to create something amazing." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty

Guess what day it is???? It's Half-Way Day!!! Acceptance Project is half-way done TODAY. 90 blog posts posted and 90 more to go! Hoooooraaaayyyyyy!

Your readership and your sticktoitiveness is sooooo valuable to me in this process. Thanks for subscribing! You are all a gift to me.

Thank YOU!!!!!

And so in honor of you and in honor of this day, I would like you give you a gift!

I have three copies of Jonathan Fields' book Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance sitting on my desk and I would like to send one to YOU!

As you may remember, I've posted about the wonderfulness of this book in blog posts 48. Your Creative Calling and 37. Uncertainty. So if you need a refresher as to WHY this book is so freakin' awesome...then check out those posts.

Now, back to me sending you a FREE book...

If you would like to be the recipient of one of these three FREE copies of Uncertainty, here's how:

1. Send me an email (viavirginiawilcox at gmail dot com) with "Half-Way Give-Away" in the subject line.

2. Share a little about a goal you are working toward right now... your dreams, hopes, fears, resistance, aspirations surrounding this goal... And tell me why you think you would benefit from receiving a copy of the book. How do you think it will help you?

3. Send me this email by 11:55pm EST, Monday, December 19, 2011

4. I will reply to every email I receive for this give-away. I will select three of the most passionate emails, send you a free copy of Uncertainty to the mailing address of your choice, and (with your permission) share a little bit about your story with the other Acceptance Project blog readers in a future post. So we can all cheer you on and be supporters of you in pursuing your dreams!!!

Hopefully, you'll receive the book by Christmas...and can snuggle-up on the couch with a nice cup of tea and a blanket and soak-in all the inspiring wisdom and practical tools in Uncertainty. Who knows? 2012 may be be your break-through year!...And it could all start with one tiny little email...So if there's any part of you that resonates with the themes of this book...DON'T PROCRASTINATE...Write me that email right now. What do you have to lose?

Thanks for sticking with me and making it to post 90.

I mean, isn't that crazy? 90 blog posts. Wow...Can't believe it! Time flies.

Send me your email! Can't wait to hear your story.

Loves,
V

"Not everyone is shut down by uncertainty, risk of loss, and fear of judgment. All around us, we hear stories of writers, painters, dancers, coders, entrepreneurs, and innovative corporate teams who appear to  have near-superhuman ability to dance with the elements of creation that terrify most people. In doing so, they create stunning art, businesses, solutions, and experiences. Are these people just freaks of nature? Are they somehow wired differently? What gives them the ability to lean into the emotions and experiences that shut most other people down?...What are these things that would allow us to become fear alchemists, to transform the circumstances that would normally terrify us into fuel for creative brilliance?" - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty

83. The Flinch

"Change is easy in principle and hard in practice" - Julien Smith, The Flinch 

In order to implement real change in your life you have to learn how to deal with "The Flinch."

flinch: /flinCH/ - verb (used without object)
1. to draw back or shrink, as from what is dangerous, difficult, or unpleasant.
2. to shrink under pain; wince.

This ingrained flinch mechanism is often keeping us from living our dreams. We are unconsciously resisting the very changes we profess that we want in our lives.

First: You've got to become aware of the flinch. (It shows up in different ways for everyone.)

Second: You can take steps to train yourself to feel the flinch and still take action to overcome your fear. (One moment at a time.)

Third: You can get so practiced at dealing with your flinch, that you hardly notice it anymore. (FEARLESS!)

If any of the above intrigues you and you want to learn MORE, I highly recommend to you the following FREE resource:

The Flinch by Julien Smith (Available for free download with the Kindle and the Kindle app. Published by Seth Godin's The Domino Project.)

I don't have a Kindle. I just downloaded the Kindle app to my iPhone and now I've got The Flinch on my phone. It's my subway reading right now... and I am in LOVE with it! Had to share.

Download it! Read! Did I mention it's FREE? Don't put it off. You know you'll forget to do it later and it'll never happen and you'll have passed up an amazing book that could actually change your life. So do it NOW!

<CLICK HERE>

Let me know what you think.

If this whole MFA-in-Acting thing doesn't work out... I think I'll just get an MFA-in-Overcoming-Fear.

LOL! Actually... for me... that's pretty much the same degree.

;-p

What are you afraid of?

Get over it,
Virginia

P.S. A big THANK YOU shout-out to Jonathan Fields for his posting about The Flinch. Wouldn't have known about it without Jonathan! Check out his blog and his book Uncertainty. He's a gem.

"The truth is that judgment and fear will never stop, but they don't actually do anything. There are no negative consequences for breaking the habit of flinching. Nothing will actually happen if you stop being afraid. You're free." - Julien Smith

 

64. Don't Know Mind

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on things you have long taken for granted." - Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician, author, Nobel laureate (1872-1970)

The more I know, the more I know that I don't know.

And even things that I've learned before... I'm constantly re-learning over and over and over again.

I like to think of learning as an upward spiral rather than a straight line. Every time I learn a lesson and move up the spiral it still comes back around to the same questions, just at a slightly higher level.

Or sometimes not.

Re-learning things all the time can get frustrating, but I've begun to accept it as a part of my process and try not to beat myself up about it when I realize it's happened... again.

I like to try to cultivate something called "don't know mind," to take some of the pressure off of myself for not knowing things.

"A true "don't know mind" leaves a lot of room for your intentions to manifest in interesting and wonderful ways. When you commit to something 100%, without the need to know how you will get there, the universe will begin to weave it creatively into the physical world." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I find that when I release my attachment to knowing... that I am happier... I am more open. I learn faster and ultimately... questions are answered on their own time and in ways that I couldn't have foreseen anyway.

Some people use phrases like... "Let it go" or "It's all good" to help themselves release their attachments to things that they cannot control.

I like to say "Don't know."  ~ with a smile and a shrug~

And the more I practice not knowing... the easier it is for me not to know things. And HOPEFULLY, some day, I will get sooooo good at it that I won't know anything anymore.

That'd RULE!

I mean, who really KNOWS anything anyway? Ya know?

Life's gonna happen...whether I KNOW it or not,
Virginia

"The way of illumination seems dark,
going forward seems like retreat,
the easy way seems hard,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest art seems unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish."
- Lao Tsu, 41st Verse of the Tao Te Ching, Taken from Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer

48. Your Creative Calling

“When you are called to create, the psychology of the endeavor… changes. Experiencing a calling creates a sense of deeper conviction, of purpose that often you, even as the creator or vision leader, don’t fully understand… 

This sense of deep commitment changes how you experience the emotions and challenges of the process. It helps steel you against the demons that dance around in your head, the resistance that taunts and teases you away from your work. It fortifies your uncertainty scaffolding, giving more ability to lean into risk and exposure, to act when you’re being judged from all sides. Judgment be damned, you’re doing what you’re here to do. 

When you are driven by a calling or a deeply personal quest and you allow that calling to inspire action, you live in the world differently. You do a thousand little things you’ve never done before. You act and interact with more confidence and vitality. Your personal energy changes. The way you speak, the way you carry yourself, your willingness to move heaven and earth and to share and evangelize your vision become palpable manifestations of your will to succeed. 

You begin to radiate the quest. You come alive. And people around you not only feel it, but become drawn to it. And to you… Purpose and passion enchant people. They want to be around you. They want to help you. They want to rally to your cause... 

You may have experienced the power of being called to create, either as the visionary or the one captivated by someone else's vision. It may well have been more compelling than any well-constructed argument for action. 

But in the end, such a calling is often based on a blend of unyielding faith and deep conviction that "this must be done." Nothing more, nothing less. And on the backs of that hard-to-defend faith and conviction lie some of the greatest creations and careers the world has seen." 

-- Jonathan Fields, author of Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

You were put on this plant to do something GREAT. To contribute to the world in that way that only YOU can. Commit to doing that thing that you cannot NOT do. Let your light SHINE. Be dedicated to the quest of generously sharing your gifts with the world and the world will support you abundantly.

I am reading Uncertainty right now... and I have to say that it's completely on-point with my life and my heart and my thoughts and my philosophy and well... everything. So if anything that I've written over the past couple of months has resonated with you in any way... I urge you to go out and purchase this book or click on the link above and get it at Barnes&Noble online.

Reading this book may totally ANNOY you with all this motivation to do something bigger and greater and SCARIER than you ever thought yourself capable of doing. So if you're interested in sitting on your boo-tay and eating bon-bons and letting these precious moments of your life tick by and thinking to yourself, "If only I could... but... ugh... I can't... so what's the point in even trying?"... Then DON'T even think about touching this book.

Just sayin...

The quote I've included in this post is just a tiny nugget of the solid-gold insight into greatness contained within it's pages.

Way to go, Jonathan Fields!!!

Every chapter reveals another keystone to understanding the psychology of the creative process and gives simple tools to help overcome the fear and resistance we all experience when trying to do something that we've never done before and is waaaaaay outside of the comfort-zone... but that we feel MUST be done.

I am so encouraged and inspired by this book that I just bought four more copies to give as gifts. True story.

I cannot say enough about it's wonderfulness... Except that I can't put it down and I feel like I want to call Jonathan and thank him personally for writing it.

Seriously... don't pass on the opportunity to let his words soak into your brain and experience the alchemy that will inevitably result. He's like the Rumplestiltskin of the creative mind... spinning normal thoughts of complacency into the GOLD of action.

Wishing you all a golden Sunday afternoon.

Love,
V

"The most successful people in the world are comfortable with discomfort, embrace uncertainty, and have fun with fear. Read this brilliant book and you will too." - Michael Port, author of The Think Big Manifesto (commenting on Uncertainty by Jonathan Fields)

 

37. Uncertainty

"Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it's all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn't happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative. When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Knowing things = so overrated... Moving forward anyway?... Priceless.

Chew on that with your Monday morning coffee.

Loves,
V

“To know that you do not know is the best.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)