153. Your Essential Nature

This is what I picture my soul looks like...my essential nature.

(By Hiram Fernandez Lopez a.k.a. hiramf)

"Practice allowing your essential nature to shine by not enforcing judgments on yourself that were imposed by others. Remind yourself that you don't have to do anything: You don't have to be better than anyone else. You don't have to win. You don't have to be number 1 or number 27 or any other number. Give yourself permission to just be. Stop interfering with your unique natural being. Lighten the burden you carry to be productive, wealthy, and successful in the eyes of others..."The Tao does nothing, but leaves nothing undone"...The air, sky, clouds, grass, wind and flowers...nothing natural that you see is undone, but nothing is taking place to work it all out." - Wayne Dyer, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

The above is exactly how I have NOT been today. Hope you've been faring better than I.

Gotta get back to my essential nature...and stop stressing-out about doing non-essential stuff.

Just be.

Loves,
V

147. Light Up The Sky

Even

After

All this time

The sun never says to the earth,

“You owe

Me.”

Look

What happens

With a love like that,

It lights the

Whole

Sky.

~Hafiz

The past few days I’ve been wrestling with some questions…

What is the point of the Acceptance Project if I never ever get accepted to grad school? Is it just that I have to accept the fact that I’ll never be accepted?

Why did I do all of this blogging…this record keeping, anyway? What’s the point of it all?

And why am I struggling so much with the idea of failing AGAIN to get accepted to grad school? Even though I know that my past two failures have been a catalyst for such amazing personal growth...and have brought sooooo many unexpected blessings into my life!

Haven’t I learned yet to trust that everything happens for my good?

I’ve been struggling with this uncomfortable feeling that the Universe must OWE me something…

I’m like… “Look, Universe…Don’t you see all the work and love and time that I’ve put into this grad school thing…Don’t you OWE me some success at this at some point, here? I mean…HONESTLY, what gives?”

Then I read that poem by Hafiz this morning (above)…and it was as if I was struck by lightning while staring at the page!

“OMG! Virginia!!! Nobody owes you ANYTHING…and certainly not the Universe.”

When my heart is I the right place and I’m able to step out of my own ego…I know that I am REALLY doing this Acceptance Project to “light up the sky” in my own small way...because I can.

Wayne Dyer gives a great explanation of this poem in his book Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. I’ve quoted him below…

“Imagine if the sun needed attention and demanded accolades for its efforts – it would shine only where it felt most appreciated or when it received payment for that life-giving energy! Soon the world would be partially shut off from the sun’s magnificence, and ultimately the entire planet would be covered in darkness as wars erupted over ways of appeasing the “sun god”…Seeing yourself as important and special because of your artistic talent, for instance, is walking the path of ego. Walking the path of the Tao means that you express appreciation for the hands that allow you to create a sculpture...Change your life by consciously choosing to be in a state of gratitude.”

Sigh.

It’s sooooo good to be reminded of these things.

GIVING!!!…THAT’S THE POINT…and being grateful that I have something to give...I am super grateful for that every day.

So go…Go “light up the sky” in your own unique way. 

No one else may notice…but you’ll know you're adding your light to the earth…and that’s what matters.

Loves,

V

104. Electric Blanket Healing

'Tis healthy to be sick sometimes.

- Henry David Thoreau

This cold is kicking my boo-tay. Gotta go to bed early. It's IMPOSSIBLE to concentrate when my head feels like it's filled with rocks, standing up too fast makes the room spin and I'm annoyed at the sound of my own sniffling.

The body needs:

Rest.

Fluids.

Warm electric blanket.

Sorry, guys...The body needs what it needs... So I'm going to cut this blog short tonight. But I'm saaaad about it...'cause I have something really amazingly awesomely cool I want to share with you all...A FANTASTIC resource I came across yesterday online.

But blogging about it today will end up sounding like blah, blah, blah...And I want it to sound like HIP HIP HOORAY!

Soooooo it'll have to wait 'til tomorrow...or when I'm feeling a little more coherent. I promise it'll be worth the wait.

Zzzzzzzzz...recharging...recharging...recharging,
Virginia

"Knowing ignorance is strength.

Ignoring knowledge is sickness.

Only when we are sick of our sickness

shall we cease to be sick.

The sage is not sick but is sick of sickness;

this is the secret of health."

- Tao Te Ching, Verse 71

97. Comfortably Uncomfortable

"An atmosphere of growth brings great happiness, but at the same time, happiness sometimes also comes when you're free from the pressure to see much growth." - Gretchin Rubin, The Happiness Project

I love the feeling of pushing myself to do something outside of my comfort-zone.

I also love the feeling of being comfortable and doing something I know I do well.

How does one strike a balance? As artists, we always want to be challenging ourselves in our work... but how much is too much?

Only YOU can know your own limits...and only YOU can motivate yourself to push beyond them...or not.

And how to do all of this in a self-loving way?...Allowing yourself to be where you're at, yet still maintaining the desire and momentum to grow?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Sometimes it is necessary to stop being lazy and get to work... Sometimes it is necessary to stop working and be lazy.

Do what cha gotta do. And be honest with yourself about it.

Can you challenge yourself to do a little bit more today? Or do you need to slow down and do a little bit less?

Both can lead to happiness. Only YOU know which one is right for you in this moment.

Love,
V

"I take no action and people are reformed. I enjoy peace and people become honest. I do nothing and people become rich. If I keep from imposing on people, they become themselves." - 57th Verse, Tao Te Ching

79. Do Nothing

"Should you want to contain something, you must deliberately let it expand.

Should you want to weaken something, you must deliberately let it grow strong.

Should you want to eliminate something, you must deliberately allow it to flourish.

Should you want to take something away, you must deliberately grant it access.

The lesson here is called the wisdom of obscurity.

The gentle outlasts the strong.

The obscure outlasts the obvious."

-Tao Te Ching, Verse 36

Here's my personal addition to the above verse...

"Should you want to get stuff done, you must deliberately do nothing." - Virginia Wilcox

That's my current theory of accomplishment.

So far... I've given myself no goals for the evening... and I feel like I'm not really doing anything... no deadlines ... no pressure... no stress... no nothing... and YET... somehow I have managed to organically accomplish a ton of stuff I've been intending to do for a while... mostly having to do with cleaning and organizing my room and work-space (which have been a total disaster since the dawn of November a.k.a. the busiest month in living memory).

I loooove giving myself plenty of time to do things in an organic/not pre-planned way.

It's soooo much more fun to do something in the very moment that you actually FEEL like you are excited to accomplish that task... rather than FORCING yourself to do it because it HAS to get done or because you SHOULD do it.

It's like a brain trick!... By telling myself I don't have to do ANYTHING... I actually motivate myself to WANT to do things... but only the things I really wanted to do to begin with.

And... Since 2011 has been alllll about doing more of what I really WANT to do and skipping the stuff I don't really like, I can feel good about doing what I want to do because I know that's exactly what I SHOULD be doing. Doing more of what I love has made me a much happier human being... and I'm still gettin' stuff DONE.

So, anyway, I recommend being lazy and doing nothing... Try it! And see what fun stuff you can accomplish.

;-p

Loves,
Virginia

“Practice not-doing and everything will fall into place.” - Lao Tzu

 

76. Rest

Rest when the work is done. This is the way of heaven. - Lao Tzu, Tao te Ching, Verse 9

:-)

Loves,
V

64. Don't Know Mind

"In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on things you have long taken for granted." - Bertrand Russell, philosopher, mathematician, author, Nobel laureate (1872-1970)

The more I know, the more I know that I don't know.

And even things that I've learned before... I'm constantly re-learning over and over and over again.

I like to think of learning as an upward spiral rather than a straight line. Every time I learn a lesson and move up the spiral it still comes back around to the same questions, just at a slightly higher level.

Or sometimes not.

Re-learning things all the time can get frustrating, but I've begun to accept it as a part of my process and try not to beat myself up about it when I realize it's happened... again.

I like to try to cultivate something called "don't know mind," to take some of the pressure off of myself for not knowing things.

"A true "don't know mind" leaves a lot of room for your intentions to manifest in interesting and wonderful ways. When you commit to something 100%, without the need to know how you will get there, the universe will begin to weave it creatively into the physical world." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I find that when I release my attachment to knowing... that I am happier... I am more open. I learn faster and ultimately... questions are answered on their own time and in ways that I couldn't have foreseen anyway.

Some people use phrases like... "Let it go" or "It's all good" to help themselves release their attachments to things that they cannot control.

I like to say "Don't know."  ~ with a smile and a shrug~

And the more I practice not knowing... the easier it is for me not to know things. And HOPEFULLY, some day, I will get sooooo good at it that I won't know anything anymore.

That'd RULE!

I mean, who really KNOWS anything anyway? Ya know?

Life's gonna happen...whether I KNOW it or not,
Virginia

"The way of illumination seems dark,
going forward seems like retreat,
the easy way seems hard,
true power seems weak,
true purity seems tarnished,
true clarity seems obscure,
the greatest art seems unsophisticated,
the greatest love seems indifferent,
the greatest wisdom seems childish."
- Lao Tsu, 41st Verse of the Tao Te Ching, Taken from Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Dr. Wayne Dyer

62. Water Break

"I'm shifting gears professionally.... I'm beginning to focus intensely on where I've succeed and failed in 2011 and what I want to build in 2012 and beyond. While I've accomplished some great things this year, I know I've also dropped a lot of balls and not come close to what I'm capable of creating in the world." - Jonathan Fields 

I'm still germinating on the whole "personal statement" idea before actually setting pen to paper... or fingers to keys (as the case may be). Maybe I'll get to an actual "draft" on the plane this afternoon. 

Planes always make me sentimental and self-reflective. Something about flying and looking down at the ground beneath the clouds. Thinking about all the lives that are being lived as we pass over in the air... There's something profound about that experience.

Anyway... I've gotten some great feedback and suggestions regarding my personal statement from several wonderful readers/friends/supportive souls. So thank you to all of you that took the time to write me a response to post #59.

I am packing-up everything from this business trip in Florida now and will soon be getting back to the "real world" in New York. Florida has been a welcome change of pace and there have been several moments for reflection on this trip... which I am very grateful for.

November has been an unusually unfocused month for me... Tons of stuff going on... Difficult to clear my mind of extraneous thought to focus on one thing: writing this personal statement for Juilliard. 

But that's where I am at. And that's okay. It's real. It's honest.

And I am hoping that today, I will be able to clear a space in my head for these thoughts and ideas to coalesce into form. But, these things will happen on their own time and forcing it neeeeeeever works out well for me.

So, for now, I will take my cues from the ocean: I will go with the flow. I will let the tide of creative inspiration pull me when it will. And hopefully, the result will be a personal statement that is deep and clear, just like the blue ocean water that continuously, persistently and beautifully writes in seafoam on the shore.

Love to you all,

Virginia

"Look, and it can't be seen.
Listen, and it can't be heard.
Reach, and it can't be grasped... 

You can't know it, but you can be it,
at ease in your own life.
Just realize where you come from:
this is the essence of wisdom."- Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching - Chapter 14 (translated by Stephen Mitchell)

 

37. Uncertainty

"Nothing great was ever created by waiting around for someone to tell you it's all going to be okay or for perfect information to drop from the sky. Doesn't happen that way. Great work requires you to act in the face of uncertainty, to live in the question long enough for your true potential to emerge. There is no alternative. When you find the strength to act in the face of uncertainty, you till the soil of genius." - Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear & Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Knowing things = so overrated... Moving forward anyway?... Priceless.

Chew on that with your Monday morning coffee.

Loves,
V

“To know that you do not know is the best.” -Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher (604 BC - 531 BC)

31. Approved!!!

“Favor and disgrace seem alarming.  High status greatly afflicts your person.  Why are favor and disgrace alarming?  Seeking favor is degrading:  alarming when it is gotten, alarming when it is lost.  Why does high status greatly afflict your person?  The reason we have a lot of trouble is that we have selves.  If we had no selves, what trouble would we have?  Man’s true self is eternal, yet he thinks, I am this body and will soon die.  If we have no body, what calamities can we have?  One who sees himself as everything is fit to be guardian of the world.  One who loves himself as everyone is fit to be teacher of the world.” 

(Wayne Dyer’s interpretation of the 13th Verse of the Tao TeChing. Taken from "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living The Wisdom of the Tao")

Seeking the approval of others leads to suffering:

If you gain the approval of others, you suffer… for you will become dependent on it for your feelings of self-worth and the continual seeking of that approval becomes an addiction that can never be satiated.

If you don’t gain the approval of others, you suffer… because you will keep pushing harder and harder to change their minds and your life will constantly be directed by external forces rather than your own inner guidance system.

Therefore, it is crucial to remain independent of both the positive and negative opinions of other people.  Regardless of whether they love us or detest us, if we make their opinions and assessments more important than our own, it will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction with ourselves and cause us pain.

(Or as they say in the theatre... "If you believe the good reviews, you have to believe the bad ones.")

Your earthly body isn’t your true identity. To find your place of peace you must begin to trust your true eternal self and allow that identity to communicate with you. 

In "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life," Wayne Dyer challenges his readers to do the following:

For one day, give up all need to be praised by others or to seek their favor.  Try for one day to listen to what this beautiful eternal self has to say to you.  And what you will find is a place of peace, which will remain with you always.

Give yourself the approval you seek.

Peace,

Virginia

“Keep eliminating the attachment to old ways.” – Lena Stevens, The Power Path