156: I'm Fine, Thanks: Part Two (Filming Day)

(This is Part Two of my experience with I'm Fine, Thanks (a documentary about the pervasive problem of complacency in America). Click HERE for Part One.)

The following events took place in New York, NY on March 1, 2012:

Baker and Grant rented a studio at Ripley-Grier on 8th Ave & 55th St. (on my recommendation as a suitable venue). Though we we were concerned about the "city noise" being overpowering...Ripley-Grier is a quintessential New York "actor" setting. Many, many, many auditions and rehearsals are held in studios just like these all over the city every day. So it seemed like the perfect venue to interview an aspiring New York actor...LOL!... me.

I showed up at the studio at 8pm, as we had agreed via email. I'd never met Baker or Grant or the rest of the team and really didn't know what to expect.

I came around the corner and there they were! Five handsome young men...with massive amounts of camera and lighting equipment strewn about them in the hallway.

I approached and one of them glanced over and noticed me standing nearby...quietly observing them.

"Hi. Are you Virginia?"

"Yup. Hi."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Bryan...This is John...and Dustin...and..."

And then there he was!!!! ADAM BAKER of Man Vs. Debt! Real. Live. IN PERSON.

OMG!

I totally had a nervous "I'm-meeting-a-celebrity" moment as I shook his hand. I mean, he's not FAMOUS in the traditional sense, I suppose...but because I follow his blog and have read so many of his stories/words/thoughts...and I LOVE, LOvE, LOvE how he's shared his whole journey online and I have such deep respect for all the good he's doing in the world. And how he's not some privileged person...or some PhD with tons of degrees or something...he's just a normal guy who is passionate about helping people and inspiring them to know that anyone can do what he's done...follow their dreams.

He's sooooooo awesome! He's creating the kind of life that feels meaningful and successful to him...according to his own definition of success and his own personal values. He's no longer buying into "scripted life" that society has been spouting...of consumerism and conformity. And by blogging about his journey online he's created a community of like-minded people to rally around him and support him in his dreams...as he inspires and supports them.

Sound familiar?

It's people like Adam Baker that inspired me to create the Acceptance Project Blog. Soooo THANK YOU, Baker! You've already changed this girl's life...and you didn't even KNOW it.

Of course, I didn't actually SAY any of that to his face. I was actually quite "cool" and "calm" and said, "Hi. Nice to meet you. Um, thanks for letting me be a part of your film. This is really a thrill."

Baker was very warm and down-to-Earth and seemed genuinely excited to meet me too! He was very complimentary about my blog...which, of course, made me feel like a million bucks!!! Soooooo nice of him to say!!!

Then I got to meet Grant, the director, who also has a theatre background...so naturally, we got along instantaneously. He's livin' his dream right now, making this documentary. So it was super fun to get to see him in his element...Having the TIME OF HIS LIFE making this film happen. Very inspirational!

Here's the Team:
Grant (the director)
Adam (the producer)
Dustin (production assistant)
Bryan (first cameraman)
John (second cameraman)

The rest of the evening sped by lightening-fast. So much awesomeness in just four short hours!!!

Here's how it went:

8pm - 8:20pm
We got into the studio and the team started setting up. Baker and I sat and chatted a bit. Though not toooooo much, because he wanted to save the "meaty" conversation for the on-camera interview. I was sooooo super happy just to be hanging out with these guys, watching them all making the magic happen, and getting to chill with Baker and hear about their filming experiences thus far. They've only just begun their travels across the country...to meet lots of folks who are pursuing their dreams and have agreed to share their stories with Baker and Grant. It all sounds very exciting... and it's veeeery different from the office-day-job-world...where I spend most of my time now-a-days.

8:20pm - 9:30pm
Camera is on me. Lights are in my face. Wired for sound. Seated on a stool and ready to bear my soul to Adam Baker and hopefully share some of what I've learned from these months of blogging and years of failing to get into grad school. He asked me all sorts of questions...What were my childhood dreams? How did I know I wanted to act? Where there people in my life that didn't support my career choice? How do I deal with rejection?...That kind of thing.

Dude. It was sooo crazy/awesome to get to sit there and share my story. I mean, the fact that they even CARED about my perspective on any of this stuff was really profoundly strange to me. LOL! My life truly isn't very noteworthy. I guess it's interesting in the fact that I am a quintessentially ordinary person...being extraordinarily transparent in my blog...and perhaps extraordinarily stubborn in my desire to create a sustainable career as an actor.

So basically, that's the kind of stuff we talked about. I have no idea if any of it will actually make it into the final cut of the film...But, honestly? That doesn't really matter to me. I got to meet Adam Baker and tell him my story...and no matter what...that's one of the coolest things I've ever had the privilege to do!

9:30pm - 10pm
Monologue time!!! We changed the camera set up and I got three glorious takes performing my monologue for the camera. AHHHHHHHHH!!!! This was sooooooo fun. It was like I got to pretend to be the leading lady in a film for a little while. "All right, Mr. Demille. I'm ready for my close-up!" And the guys were sooooo supportive. It really felt wonderful to be able to work with them.

I did two takes straight into the camera...And THEN, I asked Grant to be my scene partner (off-camera) for the third take...And he's an actor too...so he gave me an improvised line to respond to. And WOW. He was totally GIVING IT back to me the whole time I was doing the monologue. Just sooo present, reacting to me, facial expressions, right with me the WHOLE TIME. It was so FUN! Gave me tons of great inspiration to work with in-the-moment.

When we were all done, I said, "Grant! I bet you didn't know you were actually going to be required to ACT in your own film did you?" He laughed joyously. Once an actor...always an actor.

10pm - 10:30pm
Time is up!!! The studio was closing up, so we quickly moved all the equipment out into the hallway and packed everything up. Laughing. Joking. Glowing from all the fun. Said goodbye to Bryan, Dustin and Baker. But not before a little photo op!

Look! Photographic proof! This REALLY happened!

(Grant, me, Baker)

10:30pm - 11:45pm
B-roll time. Grant wanted to get some shots of me walking around Times Square, with all the lights on Broadway. Sooooo sterotypically NYC. Ya gotta do it. Ya just gotta. So there I was...walking around Times Square at night...my blue coat...my scarf...and my BIG DREAMS lighting up Broadway. Grant and John were trailing me with two cameras and capturing shots of me and all the tourists and all the crazies.

I. WAS. LIVING.

Every moment of this was totally surreal and fantastical for me. Even John was like, "You are loving every minute of this, aren't you?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I mean, just to give you some context...Soon after I moved to NY, there was a particular day when I was walking through Times Square at dusk and crying. I was exhausted from auditioning for months and never getting callbacks... I was broke... I was heading off to a promotional job where I'd be standing behind a table at a corporate event...getting paid like $10 an hour...and I missed my family back in CA...I was like..."What am I doing here? I don't belong in this place. No one cares if I live or die here."...and I felt like I had noooo prospects of NY life changing any time soon...and as I looked up at the lights and the billboards mocking me with all of their false promises of opportunity, I thought to myself..."I wonder how hard it is to get a prescription for anti-depressants in this town?" I felt completely invisible, unwanted, and unnecessary.

So now... walking through Times Square with two camera men setting up shots of me staring hopefully up at the lights on those billboards...only THIS time I had made the opportunities possible by my sheer commitment to sticking-with-it...

"Oh, New York...You can try to crush me...But I will not be crushed. I will survive!!!!"

Yeah. This Times Square experience was totally relish-worthy.

(Photo by John Cropper)

HAPPY!

11:45pm - Midnight
All done. Said good night to Grant and John. Thanked them again for this wonderful opportunity. Walked...no, FLOATED to the subway at 42nd St. Just as the clock struck midnight...and the N train barreled into the station...I realized that the enchantment had ended. I was Cinderella again. But I had just gotten to go to the BALL! And no one would ever be able to take that experience away from me.

Bliss.

Dude, all I did was start a blog about FAILING to get into grad school and trying to become a successful actress in spite of the obstacles. And what happened? I got to be a part of an AMAZING documentary like I'm Fine, Thanks!!!

I mean... WOWZERS! I am very fortunate, indeed.

Soooooo happy to know that by sharing about my unwavering and passionate commitment to acting...and by opening myself up to failing publicly... that other people have found value in the process. That makes the sting of not being accepted to one of the grad-schools-of-my-dreams this year...a little bit easier to bear.

If failing is this good. Success is going to BLOW MY MIND.

Loves,
V

P.S. There will be a Kickstarter campaign launching in April to help finance I'm Fine, Thanks. If you're interested in supporting the film and/or would like to get updates on how to SEE the film when it's finished...PLEASE CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE CRANK TANK STREET TEAM MAILING LIST...and you can also "like" Crank Tank on FaceBook! Thanks for all your support, guys!

153. Your Essential Nature

This is what I picture my soul looks like...my essential nature.

(By Hiram Fernandez Lopez a.k.a. hiramf)

"Practice allowing your essential nature to shine by not enforcing judgments on yourself that were imposed by others. Remind yourself that you don't have to do anything: You don't have to be better than anyone else. You don't have to win. You don't have to be number 1 or number 27 or any other number. Give yourself permission to just be. Stop interfering with your unique natural being. Lighten the burden you carry to be productive, wealthy, and successful in the eyes of others..."The Tao does nothing, but leaves nothing undone"...The air, sky, clouds, grass, wind and flowers...nothing natural that you see is undone, but nothing is taking place to work it all out." - Wayne Dyer, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life

The above is exactly how I have NOT been today. Hope you've been faring better than I.

Gotta get back to my essential nature...and stop stressing-out about doing non-essential stuff.

Just be.

Loves,
V

144. Acceptance Project Mixer - March 14, 2012 - Walnut Creek, CA

YOU ARE INVITED!!!

Hey, West Coast peeps!

I'm going to be heading out to Northern CA to visit my family in March. And I thought it might be fun to have a little "Acceptance Project Mixer." LOL! This will be super fun. I would love to reconnect with old friends and meet some new ones! So if you are in the vicinity...PLEASE COME BY AND SAY HELLO!

ACCEPTANCE PROJECT MIXER

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 2012 
7pm to 9pm

(Just tell the host you're there with Virginia's group)

No need to RSVP
Stop by any time after 7pm

Location:

Stanford's Restaurant & Bar

(925) 944-0895

1300 South Main St.

Walnut Creek, CA 94596

Map To Stanford's in Walnut Creek, CA.

If you even have the remotest desire to come and visit with me and other AcceptanceProject blog readers...PLEASE COME. You are wanted and welcome to attend. Don't be shy! 

If you're scared that you won't know anyone and won't have anyone to talk to...bring a security blanket...I mean...a friend. ;-) Or if you want to be suuuuuper brave...come ALONE and test your abilities in turning small-talk into REAL conversation with someone NEW. OOOOOoooooo...scaaaary! (YOU CAN DO IT!)

One of the reasons I started this blog was to create a sense of community for myself in this very personal process of applying to grad school. And a community has gathered...and I have the wonderful privilege of hearing from you guys all the time (YOU ARE ALLLL SUCH GREAT PEOPLE!) and I would love for you to have the opportunity to MEET EACH OTHER...and to connect...and share your experiences together. 

For many of you that have been following the blog from the beginning...my story has become part of your narrative this year too! And I know how fun it is to share stories with each other...and laugh...and drink...and eat snacks...and be INSPIRED by other people's journeys. We've all got the shared experience of the blog to spark conversation...and who knows what that conversation could lead to...a new friend...a professional connection...a creative collaboration? You'll never know...unless you overcome your fear of silly social awkwardness...and SHOW UP! You'll get over it in the first three minutes and then you'll be soooo glad you came...Because you'll be actively opening yourself up to the possibilities that new interactions can bring...Don't miss out on the opportunity to be in a room full of fun-loving, creative, smart, compassionate, open and like-minded people!

Oh....and I will be there too...to introduce you around to other awesome folks...and to have the thrill of getting to chat with you and get to know you better myself!

So, don't hide behind your keyboard...No excuses!!!...If you are in Northern California, please come out to Stanford's on March 14th and hang out with me! 

Please note: I am an actual, real, live, human person...not just words and letters on a screen! Would be great to meet you.

Mark your calendar! See you then.

Loves,
Virginia

P.S. Feel free to forward this on to anyone you think would be interested in attending!!! The more the merrier!

"Where can we find support for our reinvention? To make a true break with the past, we need guides who have been there and can understand where we are going. Reaching outside our normal circles to new people, networks, and professional communities is the best way to both break frame and get psychological sustenance." - How To Stay Stuck In The Wrong Career by Herminia Ibarra, Harvard Business Review (Dec 2002)

126. Vision Board: Create Your Future

Sooooo it's Sunday...

Now, what would be a sensible Sunday afternoon activity to launch us into a SPECTACULAR 2012?

Creating a VISION BOARD! (Naturally.)

Vision boards: anything on which one has placed images of what one wants, are recommended as aids for manifesting desires

And why vision board all alone, when you can throw a party and make a HUGE mess!? This is what my apartment looks like right now...

I LOVE vision boarding. And it's definitely been significant tool in helping me to clarify what I want for my life, especially with regard to my current grad school goals/dreams/vision. In fact, my grad school vision board is the background art for my blog!!! Here's what it looks like in it's entirety:

Everyone has really embraced this creative undertaking today and I am sooooo proud of the fantastic visions for 2012 that came out of our vision board party.

Every word choice and image is a personal reflection. To others your vision board may look like a bunch of random words and images, but when you look at your OWN vision board...you see a story...a story of your life in the future...your hopes, dreams and fears in plain view, but only YOU will ever experience your vision board in a visceral way. At a glance, it can ignite your passion and remind you of who you TRULY are and what you really WANT.

But don't take my word for it. Make one yourself...and see how it makes you feel.

Instructions:
Just grab some magazines and flip thru the pages collecting words and images that inspire you. Then take some scissors, make some cuts...stick it all on a poster board with a glue-stick...and anything else that you'd like to add to your vision and... voilà!!!...Your vision for 2012! You can hang on your wall and see it EVERY DAY. It will keep you INSPIRED and MOTIVATED to take action to create your vision alllllll year long!

I hope that these photos will be an inspiration for you to create your own vision board!...

Mike's vision board (in process)

Carianne's 2012 is going to be EPIC and HOPEFUL!

 Mindy's 2012 is going to be BRAVE and WICKED!

Julia is looking forward to a WONDERFUL LIFE in 2012!

Sarah will be experiencing a RISING CAREER in 2012!

Thanks so much to all who showed up to the party!!!

Now....manifest THAT Universe!

Loves,
V

P.S. And from the blog-o-sphere...Vision Boards are still coming in!!! Send me photos of your completed vision boards and I'll happily add them to the blog, just like the one below! Email me at viavirginiawilcox at gmail dot com. Happy clipping!

Shavey is going to BE ELECTRIC in 2012!!

Erin has set her sights on upgrading her life!

P.P.S. Fiiiiiinally finished my own vision board for 2012! Here it is!!! (Better late than never.)

Virginia Wilcox, April 8, 2012

122. My Humble Takeaways From TEDxBroadway 2012

I had such an incredible time at the TEDxBroadway conference!!! Soooooo inspiring for the future of Broadway!

(For more info about TED conferences go to ted.com, see my post #114, or check out Howard Sherman's LiveBlog of the event for alllll the nitty-gritty details.)

Every presenter at TEDxBroadway addressed the following very important question...

What's the BEST Broadway can be in 20 years? 

No conclusions were made...but that wasn't the point. The POINT was to relish the question and explore all the GLORIOUS possibilities, all the fantastic OPPORTUNITIES that the future could hold for Broadway...if we're willing to work together to help CREATE that new reality. AWESOME!!!

Mostly, I just sat and listened and observed and let it all soak in. But I was moved to take a few notes to share with ya'll. So here were some "take-away's" from some of my favorite presenters at TEDxBroadway. 

I hope that this post will help inspire YOU to want to be a part of creating a thriving future for LIVE theatre on Broadway and everywhere...from sea to shining sea!!!

The following are my humble takeaways from the many super-fantastic speakers that shared their hearts, insights and crazy-crack-pot-genius with all of us. (Please excuse me if these quotes aren't word perfect...It was dark and I was writing fassssst. Did my very best to stay true to the intent of the speaker's message.)

"The timeline to 2032 will be written by some of the very talented people in this room. We create ideas and ideas create the future." - Ken Davenport 

"We must ask: why is this LIVE?" - Jordan Roth

"No one sets out to create something unremarkable...If it falls short, it doesn't change the original intent and good will." - Jordan Roth

"Theatre can become part of the social fabric of people's lives." - Randy Weiner

"This show is so incredible that it doesn't need a marketing budget." - Randy Weiner (referring to Sleep No More) 

"We are poised for another renaissance and creative forces will lead the renaissance." - Patricia Martin

"This generation experiences truth as emotional truth. They believe what they can feel." - Patricia Martin

"Forget an out-of-town try-out. What about an internet try-out?" - Matt Sax

"Great customer service is about creating that total experience. Don't miss out on the opportunity for human connection in every interaction." - Frank Eliason

"How you treat your employees dictates the quality of customer service they will give." - Frank Eliason

"Drive change by storytelling, not by numbers." - Frank Eliason

"Create the future and let other people adapt to you." - Kara Larson

"Is this really the right audience?" - Steve Gullans

"Broadway is an idea factory...We open hearts and minds." - Damian Bazadona

"Expanding the exposure of Broadway is the way to grow." - Damian Bazadona

"We must increase financial opportunities to attract great talent and innovators to Broadway." - Damian Bazadona

"...Cooperation..." - Barry Kahn

"I'm in. Are you?" - Vincent Gassetto

"How can we upgrade?" - Juan Enriquez

"Does Google equal immortality?" - Juan Enriquez

"We are all self-created voyeurs." - Juan Enriquez (referring to Facebook)

"What kind of humanity do we want to create?" - Juan Enriquez

"Put all the pettiness aside and think about the good of Broadway." - Joseph Craig

"Don't be the turkey." - Greg Mosher

"We must ask ourselves: What business are we in?" - Greg Mosher

"Read The Innovators Dilemma." - Greg Mosher

"You can't Google a broken heart. That's why we need Shakespeare." - Greg Mosher

And my favorite takeaway from the entire day...

"How are YOU going to take what theatre does best and reinvent that tradition in the future?" - Juan Enriquez 

Big huge thanks to Ken Davenport, Damian Bazadona & Jim McCarthy for organizing the event.

And thank you to the generous co-sponsors:

Jujamcyn Theatres

Broadway.com

...and the supporting sponsors:

Google

BroadwayWorld.com

Audience Rewards

CareerBuilder

You can follow @TEDxBroadway on Twitter...if you're into that sort of thing.

And...word on the street is...there may be another TEDxBroadway next year!!! Whoo-hoo!!!

Here's to the future of live theatre on Broadway! Let's make it AWESOME! 

Loves,

Virginia

Yes, it's true...I actually had business cards made with the blog address on it. I KNOW IT'S SILLY! But I love this blog sooooo much, I couldn't help it!!! They came in handy too...I actually gave out a few at the event. LOL! So weird to introduce myself as an "actor-blogger." But, if the shoe fits...  :-P

  

117. Interview with Daniel Talbott (Juilliard): Part Two

For those of you that are just tuning-in...This is a continuation of yesterday's post. If you liked that one, this one's about to knock your socks off. Daniel is a truth-teller. Nothing too personal to discuss. Nothing off-limits to reveal. He's an incredibly wonderful and courageous human being! I LOOOOOOOVE this man...

Without further ado...PART TWO of my interview with Mr.Daniel Talbott...Enjoy!

(The following was recorded on January 7, 2012, and lovingly transcribed into text by my mother, Dorothy Wilcox, the fastest typist in the west! Thanks, Mom!)

Virginia: So tell me about your experience at Juilliard…

Daniel: Juilliard is the best thing that ever happened to me, seriously, for the bad as much as for the good, if not more.  It’s an amazing school full of brilliant and human and flawed people. It gave me a home base to come to New York and work every day of my life as an actor.  I was in the middle of my class.  There were kids that were straight out of high school.  There were kids that had come out of a graduate program.  I was so happy I was in the middle ‘cause I wasn’t burnt out, and I wasn’t overly intellectualizing stuff.  But at the same time, I also wasn’t so terrified that I was just out of school...I had already had an apartment and done stuff like that. 

It was really hard my first year because the great love of my life, up to that point, and I ended up in class together after we had been broken up for a year and a half.  And it was really, really hard for both of us. I think we both did okay with dealing with it.  They ended up leaving after the first year which I think was maybe easier on both of us, but it’s sad. I mean it’s not what they chose to do with their life, but if they had chosen that, I had really hoped that they would not have chosen to leave because it’s a great opportunity for anybody.  I mean, we dealt with it, but the first year was really hard because of that. So, you know, they didn’t come back, and I feel like that really opened me up.  And so I felt like my second year and third year I was much more able to work.  I was much more at ease.  Because we weren’t tiptoeing around each other 24/7,…it was so hard for both of us. 

And then, in my third year – the third year was the hardest year for me because I knew I was getting married, I was engaged.  My now wife – at the time, my fiancé – thought that we had messed up and got pregnant...I was also feeling like maybe it wasn’t the right fit for me in my third year.  And I had also started Rising Phoenix Rep.  I also knew I wanted to direct and write plays.  I knew I wanted to act, but it was a really, really hard year.  And there was this day we really thought my wife was pregnant.  I had a really good attendance record, and I skipped class so I could go to the doctor’s appointment with her.  I think someone chewed me out about it, one of my teachers or something, and I went off on them.  I was really angry about it.  I can’t remember what happened, but I was really, really upset.  I remember I was shaking, and I was walking through Central Park, and I called Kathy [Hood].  I said, “I really need to talk to you.  I think I’m going to leave the school.  I’m not going to finish it.  I’m really fed up. I’m really sick of being treated like this by certain people.” She said, “Why don’t you come in and talk to me first before you make a decision.”  Kathy’s kind of the great mama of the Juilliard program.  She’s amazing.  She said, “Michael [Kahn] wants to talk to you.”  I think he cancelled his trip to Washington to talk to me.  And so I came back to the school.  I think I was crying and shaking.  I was really pissed off.  I was a mess.  And I went in and I talked to Michael, and he was amazing.  I remember sitting in his office, and he told me, "You’re not going to leave this school.  You’re going to graduate from this school."  And he told me very personal stuff about himself and where he was at, that I reminded him of himself when he was younger in some ways.  And because of Michael and because of Kathy I stayed at that school, and I’m so proud that I graduated.  I’m so happy that they believed in me enough, and they stood by me enough to tell me I had to stay… 

The fourth year amazing. It was Rep season, and you start getting a little bit more breathing room which was good for me.  And doing rehearsal a lot, which was great.  And I had a play that was at the Young Playwrights’ Festival at the Royal Court, and the school made it possible for me to fly back and forth to London and also do Rep season.  So I got to go to London, which was a huge thing for me.  And the Royal Court’s probably my favorite theatre in the world.  It was such a dream come true for me…It was an amazing year.  I feel so lucky and proud to have graduated from that school, and I would say 98% of my teachers I’m still really close friends with and profoundly changed my life in a great way. 

Virginia:  So in your day-to-day professional life now, with a career that you’re continuing to build and your many, many hats that you've taken on – as a playwright and as a director, producing and artistic directing and acting– what do you feel have been the most valuable contributions to your current work that you learned at Juilliard? 

Daniel:  I think everything.  I think you learn from everything that happens in your life and that you put that into your work. I think the theatre is this ultimate kind of – for lack of a better word – truth box that represents back to us what we are, in every way -- as a society, as people, as a world, as a culture, as a community.  So I think every life experience that you have:  the good, the bad, the shitty, the great experiences, the crappy experiences, you can transform all of that into work and flip it into beauty and into art.  That’s, to me, what you do.  Every experience that I’ve ever had at Juilliard and just in the world has influenced my work, and my career, how I view things and how I view the world and how I view life and art. I think too much in our culture we have this thing where we separate the professional and the personal , and you can’t really do that.  I think your work should be greatly personal. I think you should be professional.  I think you shouldn’t come into work and be a wreck and not be able to work.  But as long as you can work and are allowing other people to work, it should be deeply personal.  So it’s all tied in together for me.  My family is part of theatre, the theatre is part of my family.  It’s all one thing to me…

My life is...I like simplicity.  I try to simplify my life as much as possible.  I feel like life is my work, my friends, and my family.  And that’s my life…taking walks, I love the ocean, I love whales, I love tennis. (Laughs.) I just try to be very simple about it and I put everything I am into my work, my family and friends.  I don’t think Juilliard – I don’t think any school – is the right school for everybody.  And I think there were kids in my class that came in that were so technically proficient and then became overly technically proficient at that school which is the kind of the “bad Juilliard speak” that you hear about and all that stuff.  And then I feel like there were kids that were just really raw, kind of messy, kind of hot messes, like myself. I’m a messy, kind of process-y, nutty fuckin actor and theatre artist.  And for me, Juilliard was the best thing, again, that ever happened to me.  It was the best school I could have gone to because it gave me very strong technical [training] – not that it’s just a technical school – but it balanced me. I think so of much of life and so much of art is balance…

Al Pacino has this great thing that he says about how acting is like walking a tightrope. Walking a tightrope is always active.  It’s always moving forward.  There’s always conflict and extremity. There’s a limit of time.  And you also can’t over balance one over the other or you’ll fall off.  So there’s this perfect alignment that’s moving forward with…extremity of action and in an extreme objective way.  And so I think it is a perfect analogy with acting.  Juilliard balanced me as an actor...But I don’t think it’s the school for everybody.  I think it’s a brilliant fuckin school.  But I think as an artist you have to have a strong sense of why you’re doing it from every part of yourself.  And if you’re just doing it from your neck up, to please other people, you’re not being an artist.  I mean Jackson Pollock, everyone thought he was fuckin insane.  Francis Bacon everyone thought he was crazy.   Joseph Cornell was an agoraphobe.  They fuckin thought he was crazy, and he was a genius. Do you know what I mean?  But he was doing what called him.  Another thing that I think happens in our culture is that people eliminate the uniqueness of the personal, you get people trying to imitate other things that have been successful  in order to have success.  You can’t do that in the theatre.

I think there have been times, absolutely there’ve been wonderful times in American theatre history that you’ve gotten these periods... like the Al Pacino, Gene Hackman, Dustin Hoffman period, you know...the Eugene O’Neill, Tennessee Williams period.  None of those people imitated other people.  That’s not how they created their success.   They were just artists.  They found their own personal, unique, explosive way to create.  Like Kim Stanley or Laurette Taylor … The people who you remember are the people who have created a unique personal path through art, and that have been greatly influenced by everyone else that they’ve worked with and everyone else that has inspired them. And so I feel like I was able to be who I am, and I got four years to explode that and challenge that and get a very strong foundation, so that I could hopefully do that eight times a week instead of doing it three times a week. You know what I mean?  I would never be the theatre artist I am without that school. 

Virginia:  So with regard to the personal thing.  I want to transition into a little bit about Yosemite, which is your most recent project. 

Daniel:  It’s probably my most personal play.

Virginia:  So what are some of the personal elements that you’re excited to share through this creative work?

Daniel:  I don’t know if excited is the word.  I’m like fuckin terrified…  I think that I’m such a beginning playwright.  It’s hard to even call myself a playwright.  There are so many playwrights who I admire that I think that are so further along than I am... It is a weird play…I don’t know if anyone’s going to get it.  I don’t know if it’s going to mean anything to anyone else.  I could see people loving it.  I could see people and critics just completely trashing it, but I’m proud of it. It's the thing I'm most proud to have written.

End of Recording.

Ohhhhh, Daniel. WE are so proud of you tooooooo! Your journey from young-baseball-player-and-hopeful-someday-actor to....now-playmaker-theatre-artist-husband-father-and-friend -- is sooooo inspiring.

You are clearly on your right path and I applaud all of the courage and heart it took for you to get to where you are now!!! Thanks for sticking with it. We allll benefit from your decision to follow your calling and live this crazy-artist-life to be able to CREATE and tell your story...in the way that ONLY you can. Thank you for that.

Sending you love and wishing you tons of success with Yosemite and beyond!!!

I am sooooo grateful to have had this opportunity to record this moment in time. (It is soooooo awesome to have this blog as an excuse to talk with really f-ing cool people about how they got to be where they are...and then have the privilege of sharing it online! YAY!)

It's great to be able support a theatre artist in process...who's life is dedicated to exploring the human condition and reflecting it back for your entertainment and contemplation. CLICK HERE TO GET YOUR TICKETS TO YOSEMITE.

Gotta run. My computer's about to run out of juice...And I've got to grab some food before I head to the theatre...to see the first preview of Yosemite.

Hope to see you all there.

Loves,

V

P.S. RE: Monologue practice for my up-coming grad school auditions...Did all four of my monologues for my friend H. She was around to see my monologues last year too. And I didn't show them to very many people last year...I was waaaay to scared. But this year...I'm doing these freakin' monologues for EVERYBODY, scared or not! And H said that she thinks I've shown some improvement over last year! Yay!!! Progress! Who could ask for anything mooooooore???

89. Learn From The Best

"I have a lot left to learn. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that I know almost nothing, and that I’m often wrong about what I think I know. Life has many lessons left to teach me, and I’m looking forward to them all." - Leo Babauta, ZenHabits.net

I want to be a life-long-learner. Part of this whole journey of wanting to get back to school and get my MFA in acting has been motivated by my desire to continue to LEARN and, specifically, learn how to create a sustainable and fulfilling career as an artist.

Hence...applying to NYU, Yale & Juilliard...arguably three of the BEST acting programs in the US. What better place to submit to the process of learning about the craft?

Observing New Yorkers since I moved here in 2007 has expanded my perception of what is possible for ordinary people to be able to do in the world. Being here has made me more aware of the impact that everyone is making on our society every day...and the question is.. What kind of contribution are you making today? And what more would you like to do if you showed a little initiative and guts?

These are the kinds of questions that NY has caused me to ask myself.

I am surrounded by successful people EVERYWHERE. People making their living doing EXACTLY what they are passionate about, taking risks, not compromising and making a great living from their work. This is incredibly inspiring to me.

So now that I KNOW that this kind of life is possible and that even regular people are doing it. I have to ask..how do I make this a REALITY for me?

A little background on my experience as an actor in NY...

In 2009, I went to over 200 theatre auditions here. I got three callbacks and booked one show.

That. Was. An. Exhausting. Year.

Just awful.

Let's not even talk about how devastating that year was for me financially or psychologically... Needless to say, to continue with that approach to my career was not a sustainable business model or healthy for my soul.

However, I acknowledge that I am an experiential learner...and I feel like I had to experience that awfulness for myself in order to know that it wasn't going to work for me.

Picture this...

200 mornings...waking up at the crack-of-dawn to stand in line with hundreds of other "me" types...all of us wanting jobs...needing to pay our rent...hoping to get an audition appointment and be "seen" for 2 minutes...sing our 16-bar-cut or speak a short monologue...and maaaaaybe be remembered by the casting assistant's intern behind the audition table...in hopes that you'd be that one "perfect" person for the job and your headshot would end up in front of someone with "actual casting authority." Such is the life of an agent-less actor. I realized that even with my Equity Card it was a looooong shot, but I kept "showing up" because I thought it was a numbers game...and EVENTUALLY I'd book something...and then I'd be "happy." Well...eventually, I did book a job...but...HAPPY?...Not so much. That job was not creatively fulfilling and it was over, start-to-finish, in less than 5 months...and back to the audition circuit I'd go.

This is not what I thought life as an actor would be...this life is not fun. Why do I feel like I'm desperately begging for a job every day? Bleh.

"Wrong approach, Wilcox. Sorry, Sweet Heart. The juice ain't worth the squeeze."

"There's gotta be a better way!"

I had to do SOMETHING differently. Because giving up acting for good was NOT AN OPTION.

I thought to myself, "You're not in Northern California anymore, Virginia. This is N.Y.C. There are new rules to this game. And you've got to learn them and figure out how YOU are going to be able to play YOUR way and not feel like you're being played. How are you going to be able to create an acting career in New York City that's... A. economically sustainable (gotta pay the rent and not get into debt) and B. creatively fulfilling (this is what you LOVE to do, right?) Being actor in NY is NOT an easy task or for the faint-of-heart or the "dabbler." You've got to be COMMITTED to failing and taking risks and thinking outside-the-box in order to LEARN how to make this career happen for you."

And I discovered that...I don't like feeling like the "long-shot" at an audition. I hate walking into the room and feeling like the casting director is thinking, "Virginia Wilcox, who? And why should I care?...NEXT." Actually...that's what I was thinking when I walked into the room...And THAT was the REAL problem.

I realized that I had get to a place in my own head where I could feel like the "sure-thing"... Eventually, I would like to be the person that walks into the audition room and the casting director's reaction is "Oh, thank goodness Virginia Wilcox is here. I love her work." So how do I get THERE?

I am still in the process of discovering the answer to this question. I'm hoping that part of the answer will be the confidence and exposure I will gain from my grad school experience.

But the most urgent question that pertains to NOW... is... What do I need to do TODAY to get myself on that path?

"It's often from a sense of discontent, feelings of incompleteness, or even a twinge of true unhappiness that the seeds of great accomplishment are sown." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

I didn't want to buy into the "starving actor" mentality anymore. I'm not interested in "surviving" as an actor. I want to THRIVE as an actor.

So, what did I do after my marathon 200 audition year? I did what every self-respecting actor/actress in their right mind would do...I stopped auditioning and got a "day-job."

F*%k auditioning...I have to eat, make rent and these credit card bills are NOT going to pay themselves.

:-p

But what about acting? Was Virginia Wilcox giving up?! Maybe... maybe not...

"A young woman with an extra ten or twenty thousand in her pocket has a lot more room to maneuver than a girl who's broke at the end of every month...There's no disgrace in waiting tables if it's part of a long-term strategy." - Hugh MacLeod (taken from Tim Ferris' blog)

I knew I needed to figure out a strategy before I could move forward again... I knew that what I'd been doing wasn't working and wasn't making me happy and that if I continued on that path that it'd ultimately lead me to damage my love for acting (NO!!!). I couldn't let the challenges and competitive nature of the "business" destroy my desire to participate in this art form.


But what exactly was getting in my way? How could I approach all this in a smarter more fulfilling way?

And more specifically, was I really ready and willing to let go of everything in my life that's keeping me from my goal...thoughts, habits, relationships...anything that doesn't support me or has become unhealthy and no longer serves me...Would I really be brave enough to let it all go in service to my dream?

Scary.

Needs support.

Needs inspiration.

Needs to know that the juice will be worth the squeeze.

I became drawn to stories of successful people and how they became who they are today. Though many famous people I admire have amazing stories...I felt a certain distance from many of their tales because a lot of them started out with more resources in life than I felt I had. So, in my mind, I thought...well...NATURALLY they'd be successful...if they came from money... or if they were BORN into a family of industry leaders...or they found an influential MENTOR early in their life that enabled them entry into their field of choice. But those were not my circumstances.

So I kept searching until I found a story of an ORDINARY person, with similar resources to my own, no significant advantages to speak of, that found a smart and self-loving way to make their dreams happen in spite of the odds...

And that person was not an actor (surprise!) and came from the most unlikely of places...Guam...His name is Leo Babauta and it's his success story that has inspired me the MOST!


From Leo I have learned HOW to get over resistance to doing something you've never thought yourself capable of before and HOW changing your life in small ways can lead to changing your life in BIG ways...

READ LEO'S STORY HERE.

If Leo found a way to achieve his goals, then I can too! And my way may be slightly different than his way...but I will use his tools and adapt them to my own needs.

Some improve-your-habits-to-change-your-life guidance from Leo:

• Do one habit at a time.
• Make it easy to do.
• Do it consciously, very consciously at first.
• Don't allow any exceptions.
• Post your progress publicly.
• Keep doing it every single day.
• Enjoy the habit.

Sounds like a description of AcceptanceProjectNYC, huh?

Yes. I am totally unoriginal. All my good ideas are stolen and regurgitated from others.

Maybe that's my true calling...selective regurgitation.  ;-)

Anyway...

Leo inspires me because his is a story of an ORDINARY man, with ORDINARY resources, and with EXTRAORDINARY aspirations. He has completely changed his life... all because he was unhappy with the way things were going and he wanted a change. And he figured out a way to make the changes in his life soooooo easy and soooooo simple, that he couldn't make excuses for not doing it. For him, he made TINY changes...one thing at a time, one day at a time, step by step, inch by inch...nothing sweeping or grand. But NOW...all of those little moment-to-moment decisions have added up and he's living the life of his DREAMS and loving the life he's created.

I've been following his blog for a couple of years now. He's had such a HUGE impact on my life. But it's funny... I've never contacted him once, or commented on his blog or anything. He's changed my life by telling his story and he'll probably never know my name!

That's the beauty of the internet, I suppose. You put yourself out there...and somebody's happy to read what you've written. (You'll never really know the impact you've had on people. And that's probably best anyway, 'cause it's really too overwhelming to process psychologically.)

Thank you, Leo...for sharing your story. It has motivated me to stop sitting around and waiting for the life I wanted to find me...Now I'm taking action to create it, one tiny moment and one blog post at a time.

So hopefully, in the future I'll be able to make a whole huge awesome list of things I've accomplished with these baby steps...things that will have great meaning to me...because I took the reigns of my own life and did what I could to get the ball rolling.

I'm my own knight in shining armor...saving my own inner damsel in distress. And I know that no matter what happens with the "outcome" of this grad school goal, we're gonna live happily ever after.

Thank you to all of YOU, my readers, who CARE about pursuing your dreams! Please know that I am personally invested in your success! It's always such a thrill for me to press "send" and know that you're reading! And I'll keep showing up on this blog...6 days a week. Because I TRULY BELIEVE that you can create EXACTLY the kind of life you've always secretly imagined, by doing a little bit every day to move yourself in the direction of your dreams.

We're gonna get there, people. Where ever "there" is exactly...will become clear later. But, right now, at least we're on the way.

You may say that I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one,
Virginia

"Think only as you can think, which will lead to feelings that only you can feel, from which connections will be made, lives will be changed, and worlds will come tumbling into existence." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

84. New York

Workin' on my online applications for Yale and NYU today...and listening to Alicia Keys sing my soul!

Enjoy!

Keep dreamin'...realities will follow.

Loves,
V

"Having a dream is more important than having it come true...They all come true eventually, only to be replaced by others. Until then, they turn you on, give you hope, and bring you closer to home." - Mike Dooley, Tut.com

80. Live With Meryl (8:45pm EST)

"Everything we say signifies; everything counts, that we put out into the world. It impacts on kids, it impacts on the zeitgeist of the time." - Meryl Streep

Tonight!!! 8:45pm EST. Meryl Streep is doing a live online Q & A discussing her latest film "The Iron Lady."

Ms. Streep is a graduate of the Yale School of Drama and has gone on to create an acting career of unparalleled success.

This is gonna be fun, folks! Great actors talking about their work is sooooo inspiring.


Anyone wanna watch with me?

Click Here To Watch.


Looking forward to it, Meryl! Break legs!

Yours,
Virginia

"My success has depended wholly on putting things over on people, so I'm not sure that I'm that great a role model. I am, however, an expert on pretending to be an expert on pretending to be an expert." - Meryl Streep, Barnard Commencement Speech, 2010

  

73. Juilliard On The Web

Okay... This is soooooo freakin' cool!...

Juilliard posted an on-the-web Q&A session about the MFA program (though much of it applies to the BFA too).... It is soooo great. Informative. Inspiring. And no need to travel to NY... It's available to EVERYONE through the miracle of modern technology. How's that for equal opportunity!?

If anyone out there is applying to Juilliard this year... PLEASE SEE THE LINK BELOW.

CLICK ON ME.

And even if you're not applying to Juilliard this year, check it out.

Benefits to you for watching:

A. Inspiring educational philosophy... Some schools have a take-the-student's-money-give-em-a-diploma-and-kick-em-out-the-door mentality. Not naming any names, but I haven't had a lot of "hand-holding" in any of my past collegiate experiences. Now... I ask you... What would our national student body be like if educational institutions all over the country shared the same kind of philosophy in nurturing the qualities of innovation and creativity in their students as Juilliard does? We might have some better educated and happier citizens... And a society that creatively collaborates in coming up with SOLUTIONS to problems rather than wallowing in conformity and egoism. Not sayin' the Juilliard-philosophy is the answer for EVERYONE. Just askin' the question...

B. You will get an idea of WHY I'm soooooo excited to apply to this school. Sure the name "Juilliard" is impressive... but WHY is it impressive? Because they have GREAT TRAINING. They don't turn out cookie-cutter actors. They guide individuals to find their own unique voice and give them the opportunity to practice their craft in an environment that's safe to take RISKS. Because pushing yourself past the point of succeeding and beyond into BIG-FAIL territory is the fastest way to learn and grow. Success will come along as a result extracting the fear of failing. (I digress.) Juilliard is setting you up for a career as a COLLABORATOR, a contributor to the process of building a piece of theatre/film/whatever... They don't want you to be a tell-me-where-to-stand-and-I-will-say-my-line-and-look-pretty kind of actor. HEAVEN! I've attended TWO of the live Q&A sessions in NY and watched this Web thingy... and every time I learn something new and I LoVE to hear how the faculty react to the same questions in different ways. They are so respectful of each other and of the students. It. Is. Awesome. But don't take my word for it... experience it for yourself.

C. You may start watching and think... "Gee, you know who would LOVE this? [INSERT ASPIRING YOUNG ACTOR'S NAME HERE]. I think I shall forward it to them, because THEY might be inspired by this and want to apply to Juilliard. Perhaps, by forwarding this on I could help change the trajectory of someone's life and that would make me feel really GOOD." Share the LOVE. Support each other's dreams!

Anyhoo, still working on the Juilliard Personal Statement. Why is it soooo much easier for me to write this freakin' blog than it is to write this two page essay?

Riddle me that?

Get back to work, Wilcox.

:-p

Hugs,
V

"A great way to give thanks for the privileges we've got is to do important work. Your job, your internet access, your education, your role in a civilized society... all of them are a platform, a chance to do art, a way for you to give back and to honor those that enabled you to get to this point. For every person reading this there are a thousand people (literally a thousand) in underprivileged nations and situations that would love to have your slot. Don't waste it." - Seth Godin, Seth Godin's Blog

72. Hope

"Franklin Delano Roosevelt understood that in the depths of the Great Depression, when he galvanized a despondent nation by telling Americans that they had nothing to fear but fear itself. Roosevelt was urging not to lose hope. Hope is a sustainable value that inspires us to see the world as a source of meaning and to connect with people in valuable ways. Hope is a catalyst. When we lose hope, we retreat into ourselves; we detach and dispair. When we have hope, we lean into the world, and a sense of possibility takes root that allows us to connect with others and collaborate with them to bring these futures about. Like trust, hope is fundamental to how we connect in a connected world. Without hope there can be no progress, no innovation, and no lasting prosperity. Hope impels people to get up out of their chairs, and inspires them to take on challenges that they never dreamed of taking on before -- and to stick with them however hard things get. Of course hope alone is not a strategy, but it is the essential starting point for any sustainable strategy. In this way, hope inspires the pursuit of significance." - Dov Seidman, Founder and Chief Executive Officer, LRN, How: Why HOW We Do Anything Means Everything

I love this book! Is that not the most incredible quote!?! It is! I mean, it gives me hope that hope is so valuable... 'Cause hope is what I've got in abundance right now... Tangible evidence of success will come soon... I hope. But for now, hope will have to suffice.

In other news...

I am taking a break from putting some finishing touches on the Juilliard Personal Statement. Or you could say... I'm taking a break from over-thinking, re-working and f-ing it all up... LOL!

Actually, I do think my writing does sometimes get worse as a result of editing. What's gained in clarity is lost in flow... All well.

Ultimately, this essay's gotta go out with my application... So I will do all that I can to be happy with it... and then I've gotta let it go and leave the rest up to the universe.

Can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good, ya know? (That's a throw-back to blog post #1... for those of you that have been long-time blog followers.)

It's sooooooo close to being done, folks... I can almost taste it.

What shall we do to celebrate when the personal statement is alllll done and the Juilliard application is submitted? Ideas?

Anyhoo, HOPE you have a good evening... I'm gonna get back to the re-writes!

Fingers to the keys,
Virginia

"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." - A.A. Milne, author (1882 - 1956)

 

71. Inspiration Is IN

"The first step to living a life of passion and purpose is to remove the barriers that hold you back." - Adam Baker, Man Vs. Debt

Sooooo, I'm still working on my Personal Statement Draft for Juilliard. It's coming together. But striking that balance between being honest/raw/open/vulnerable about where I've come from and what I had to do to get to where I am now... and still managing to show my bubbly-passionate-desire-to-inspire-self is really challenging.

It's a balancing act... Heavy/Light... Dark/Bright... Negative/Positive. One without the other will not give the full picture.

There is much shitty-ness that is a part of my story... and I often choose NOT to focus on that part... for various reasons... The greatest of which is... I have found that focusing on the negativity of the past has never helped me to create a more positive future. So I try to spend as little time walking down negative-memory-lane as possible.

But with this Personal Statement... it's tough NOT to go there... I don't want to wallow in the past, but I don't want to deny it either. The dark times have become a part of who I am now and have helped to shape me. They've made me appreciate my successes and blessings soooo much more than if everything had come easily.

And... as avid-AcceptanceProject-blog-follower-Alexis reminded me in a VERY HELPFUL phone call late last night regarding the Personal Statement... the thing that makes us unique and inspiring to each other are not our pains or our obstacles (everybody's got those to contend with to varying degrees)... but HOW we manage to overcome them and get to a more positive/happy/successful/awesome life. Everybody can relate to that struggle/journey and get on-board the HOPE train! Tell THAT story and people will both...A. root for your success and B. be inspired to pursue self-betterment themselves!

WIN/WIN!

Sigh... Anyway, that's great and all... But it's not enough to just to KNOW what  I want to communicate in the Personal Statement... The key (that I am trying to get to) is HOW to communicate that idea successfully... in 2 pages... double-spaced.... Still working on that part.

Luckily I've got 4 more days to figure it out... before I have to press SEND and submit the application.

TONS of time... Not.

I wish I was gutsy enough to send in a personal statement that looked like the following...

Ha ha ha!!! Can you imagine?... Sigh... Hilarious.

But.. no... that would be a cop-out. Because I'd only be doing it out of laziness... trying to avoid having to get to my bottom-line and be REALLY specific and concise about WHY I WANT TO BE AN ACTOR... and HOW I HOPE MY WORK WILL HAVE A POSITIVE IMPACT ON THE WORLD... and WHY JUILLIARD'S PROGRAM SPECIFICALLY RESONATES WITH ME AND WILL HELP ME ON MY JOURNEY OF ARTISTIC GROWTH.

Soooo here's TODAY'S PLAN OF ACTION in re-writing my Personal Statement...

Step 1: Go to the movies... and (hopefully) be inspired by some amazing acting

Step 2: Go to yoga... to let my body sweat and allow my subconscious mind to mix-up all the ideas I want to incorporate into the next draft of the Personal Statement (perhaps inspiration will hit me during final savasana?)

Step 3: Come home, shower, make a cup of tea, turn on my computer, read what I've already written and see if I am even remotely inspired by my own words... If not... my "literary babies" will have to be sacrificed (cut or rewritten) in the interest of the greater good (a personal statement that is true to who I was... true to who I am am... and most importantly... true to who I am becoming!)

All that... in 2 pages... double spaced... 12 point font.

Noooow.... GO!

Gettin' there,
Virginia

"Human qualities like creativity, helpfulness, and hope can't be commanded; they can only be inspired in people. You can't order somebody to have a great idea. You can't mandate rich, creative collaborations. You can't command a doctor or nurse to be more humane and show compassion at a patient's bedside. You can't really motivate or coerce a teacher to be more hopeful and create a sense of possibility in the classrom. You can't sufficiently motivate a sales representative to engender trust in every interaction. The lucky ones figure it out early on their own, but others need to be inspired to bring out these qualities." - Dov Seidman, How: Why How We Do Anything Means Everything