Showing posts with label Documentary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Documentary. Show all posts

Sunday, April 1, 2012

180. Last Post Of The Project

"You may want something, work hard to achieve it, and in your process achieve something even greater than your original goal. So don't get married to what you imagine is the result of your pursuit, just be involved in the pursuit. Besides, you already have a job. Your job is to be a joyful artist. No one can take that away from you." - Jack Plotnick, New Thoughts For Actors

Let's start by revisiting the mission statement of this blog as I envisioned it back in September 2011:

"This is my 3rd year applying to the MFA Acting Programs at NYU and Yale and my 1st year applying at Juilliard. I am blogging to record my process of preparation. From Sept 5th, 2011 to Apr 1st, 2012, I will post 6 days a week on all subjects related to my creative process and my application and audition preparation... Though my short-term goal is to be accepted to the grad school of my dreams, this is but a step toward the long-term goal of building a life/career that will be joyful, sustainable, creatively fulfilling, profitable, challenging, of service and FUN!"

Did I complete the project according to the guidelines specified above?

Yes.

Do I consider this a success?

Yes.

Did I get accepted to grad school?

The jury is still out, actually...Well, I do know this...It's not Yale and not Juilliard, not this year anyway.

But I am currently an alternate (one of two) for the 2012 entering class for NYU Grad Acting. Soooo I could possibly get a call if someone drops out...even up-to the day before classes begin. OR...I could never hear from them again.

Either way...I got waaaaaaaay further than I have in the past two years that I've auditioned for grad schools...and, more importantly, because of the blog the EXPERIENCE of the entire process was sooooooo much more fun and challenging and rewarding than it ever was before.

Do I consider this a success?

Yes...I'm going for progress. And progress has been made.

One of the other reasons I started this blog, was because I WISHED SO MUCH that someone else had started a blog like this to share their process when I was first auditioning for grad school.

My first year, the process was sooooo lonely and I had NO CLUE what I was doing and I reeeeeeeally wanted to know what the process had REALLY been like for other people that were eventually accepted. I mean, what were they really thinking at the time when they were preparing to audition? Were they really as unsure as I was about whether or not they would succeed at this endeavor?

But I didn't know a lot of people that had been through it, and those that I did know...I was too scared to ask them to reveal all the inner-workings of it all.

And, besides, it's easy to look back in retrospect once you've already succeeded and go "Oh, I did this or that." But what were you ACTUALLY THINKING at the time before you KNEW you'd succeed???...That's what interested me the most.

Were these successful people having the same thoughts and struggles as I was? The same kind of experience? Or did they know some secret that I didn't know? Were those people that had gotten into these programs just as scared as I was that they weren't good enough to "make-it?"...Yet...they made it happen anyway. So if they could do it...why not me?

The nice thing about auditioning for graduate school is...you can keep trying again.

2010 = 1st year of auditioning at NYUYale  = calledback at NYU, but not accepted

2011 = 2nd year of auditioning at NYU & Yale = waitlisted at NYU, but not accepted

Soooooo when I came upon my third year of auditioning at NYU, Yale and now Juilliard (since they now offer an MFA)...and I realized that I had learned a lot about what it takes to make solid showing at grad school auditions...I thought, "Dude! I could write a blog about this! Ha!" And though I am no expert...I am certainly more knowledgeable than I was my first year.

So I decided to write this blog myself since there might be someone like ME out there...auditioning for the first time...wondering what to expect...needing a little inspiration and encouragement to stay focused and keep their head in the game throughout the process. So if that's YOU...then I wrote this blog for YOU...fyi.

On that note, here is a TIME-SAVING TIP FOR USING THIS BLOG and really makes it easier to use (I hope!)...I've included a "TOPICS" section on the right sidebar. See if there are any words that pop out at you that might be reflective of where you are at in YOUR PROCESS or a topic relevant to YOUR LIFE. Click there. Read. The "TOPICS" are a huge time-saver to point you toward cool subject-matter that might be of interest to YOU.

Happy reading!

Next item on the agenda for today...

Just want to take the time to say THANK YOU to some very important people that have supported me along the way to making this blog exist and to help me in having the best possible experience applying to grad school in 2012.

These folks have racked up some seeeeerious positive credit in their good-Karma-accounts...

First and foremost thank you to my 100 EMAIL SUBSCRIBERS!!! You have been the most active participants in this journey. It is for YOU that I have posted every day. Your attention has kept me accountable to staying-with-it through this process and giving it my ALL.

I have always tried to honor your commitment by sending you inspiring quotes, words of encouragement and my own honest personal experience...in hopes that we can all help each other to pursue our creative dreams in our own unique, authentic way.

Thank you for alllll of your comments and emails over the span of the project. (I read every single one. Bloggers are c r a z y about receiving comments from readers. It is our greatest joy.) I know you've had the option to "unsubscribe" every day. So thank you for sticking with me and continuing your subscription throughout the process. You have made a difference in this girl's life. :-)

And thank you to...

Kathryn Bild (my monologue coach and author of my favorite acting book Acting From A Spiritual Perspective)

Adam Gilbert (MyBodyTutor and blogging inspiration)

Dylan Patrick (NYC headshot photographer, who does ammmmmazing work at a totally affordable price and is one of the nicest people you've ever met)

My four friends that agreed to let me interview them and post their words-of-wisdom on the blog:



And a big THANK YOU to Dorothy Wilcox (my mom) for donating her court-reporting skills and transcribing the interview recordings into text, so that I could post them on the blog for your reading pleasure.

Thanks to the faculty and staff of the acting programs at NYU, Yale and Juilliard. Your job is to create an environment where young actors, like me, can learn and grow and train for a successful career in the performing arts. And all three of your programs strive to do that in the very BEST way for your students. Very admirable. In my humble opinion, it's actor-utopia!

And though I've never been accepted for admission. I still appreciate what you do. You facilitate positive change and artistic growth in young people's creative lives, giving them the tools to succeed and thrive as artists in the "real world." That's AMAZING! Thank you for all the support and guidance that you are giving to the next generation of emerging artists. Our entire world will benefit from this investment.

A special thank you to Robert Parsons for being my teacher, mentor and friend through-out all my years applying grad school and well before then too. Thank you for reminding me that I've "got what it takes" even when I've forgotten what that is exactly. Your enthusiastic support has made me feel like I'm not crazy for choosing this life...and that I WILL be able to support myself financially with my acting-paychecks some day! Thank you for believing in my abilities as an artist and encouraging me to continue to follow my heart.

Thanks to all of the wonderful people that wrote me recommendation letters for Yale, NYU and Juilliard this year. And to those that wrote me letters for my applications in 2011 and 2010, as well. You know who you are! Your support has been essential in this process. Thank you.

Shout-out to Matt Steiner for being an exceptional friend and writing me a very well-timed letter of encouragement that came into my inbox at a very loooooow point in the process for me. He wrote...
"...This project may have felt, at times, like a vehicle to take you to a place where you would then make some great artistic contribution. But, to me, this is the greatest artistic contribution that you could have given to anyone at this point in your life. You've given the rest of us the permission to fail. And in that, you've encouraged us to risk enough to succeed. I'm very proud of you, Virginia. Congratulations." 
I meeeeean, could anyone possibly say anything more encouraging than that? Seriously. And thank you, Matt, for collaborating with me in getting my monologues recorded on video and uploaded to YouTube. The whole process was a JOY because of you. Thanks for helping to make that happen!

Thank you to Ms. Brittany V. Green for writing the guest posts about your NYU Callback Weekend. And congratulations on your acceptance!...With a scholarship to boot! You are going to grow sooooo much from the experience! Cannot wait to see what's next for you! So happy that we connected at Juilliard callbacks. Congrats on NYU.

Thanks to all those folks that attended the MIXER and the VISION BOARD PARTY! Soooo much fun. And if anyone else out there has completed a vision board for 2012...email me a photo and I'll post it on the blog!

HUGE THANK YOU to Adam Baker of ManVsDebt for interviewing me for his documentary. I'm Fine,Thanks. It's scheduled for release in Summer 2012. Best of luck with the rest of the filming and editing process. I think it's an incredibly timely and moving project that's taking a time to reflect on the issue of complacency in our modern society. I cannot wait to see it!!!

And thanks to alll of the other bloggers that have inspired me with their incredible words of wisdom...I don't think I've ever commented on a single one of your blogs...but you've changed my life anyway...by sharing your experiences online. You're in my inbox daily. I am grateful to: Zen Habits, Everyday Bright, Happiness Project, Seth Godin, Ramit Sethi, Jonathan Fields, Stephen Pressfield and Ken Davenport.

If you want inspiring new perspectives coming into your inbox every day...I'd highly recommend subscribing to any of these blogs.

Four authors that have inspired me beyond what my limited vocabulary can express: Dr. Wayne Dyer, Anna Deavere Smith, Jack Plotnick and Julia Cameron. You've given me support, guidance and mentorship through your written words. You've helped me relocate my core whenever I've lost my focus, forgotten who I am or what is truly important to me. Thank you for taking the time to write.

Some special mentions...Anna Alaimo, Jessica Raaum, Josh Heath, Haley Pulli, Alexis Jeanene, Dione Rábago, Marisa Abdoo, Claire Kennedy-Vega, Keola Simpson, Peter Evans, Chris Fore, Erin Shaw, Vanessa Nelson, Mary Schneider, Jake DeGroot, Alysha Umphress, Christine Kapp, Clint Alexander, Stephen Kling, Joey Costello, Nick Dothée, Laura Ware...and many, many more...You have alllll allowed me to talk-my-face-off about creative process and acting and blogging and dreams and hopes and ya-da-ya-da-ya-da...and you've all listened and nodded and responded in kind and made me feel like you all care. So thanks for being my friends!

Thank you also...to everyone that has NOT been supportive of this project...to everyone that has unsubscribed...to everyone that has made snarky/judgemental comments...to everyone that has looked at me like I'm totally INSANE when I've told them about what I'm doing. You have made me stronger by reminding me that I am not looking to others for outside approval in order to motivate me to do this project, but that it is my own inner creative aspiration to grow as a human being that ultimately keeps me going.

I have learned that by doing the best job that I can with this project, my commitment to daily practice will result in an improvement of my skills and that by having FUN with the process I am able to release my attachment to the outcome.

The PROCESS is the point.

It is ME I have to inspire and impress. THAT'S HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE. So thank you to all the nay-sayers. You've been truly motivating force.

Annnnnnd....Thanks to alllll the folks that have stumbled upon my blog from Sept 5, 2011 to Apr 1, 2012...and to all of you that will read the blog in the future!


Many of you have found the blog through Google or FB or Twitter or a recommendation from a friend...Thanks for stopping by! Feel free to leave comments or email me. I'll do my best to respond.

(You know what totally blows my mind?...Up to this point I've had over 28,000 hits. Wowzers! Who knew so many people would be interested in reading about this subject?! Crazy, right?)

Oh! And thank you to all the folks at my day-job. You don't know how much you all mean to me. And though I haven't told any of you about this project...yet...I love you all and look forward to seeing you at the office every day. My time with you is limited and therefore I appreciate it all the more.

And last, but not least, thank you to the higher power...God...the Universe...whatever you'd like to be called. I know that you are working your magic in my life and I am grateful for your silent protection and the loving gift you've given me...this life. I will continue to try and do my best with all that I've been given every day.

Those are my "thank yous."


So what's next for me?

Who knows?

But if you want me to keep you posted...you'll have to subscribe by email. That way, any updates I post will be sent straight to your inbox.

I will NOT be posting six days a week anymore. (LOL! I need to have TIME to do other things again.) But I will let you know what happens with NYU...for sure. And if I decide to apply to grad school again next year... And...if there's anything else that I feel INSPIRED to post about...that I think might be relevant and interesting to you guys...I promise I'll post about that stuff, as it comes up.

Thanks for reading.

Best wishes to all for 2012 and beyond.

Loves,
Virginia Wilcox

"There's nothing anyone can do to prevent you from reaching your potential; the challenge is for you to identify your dream, develop the skills to get there, and exhibit character and leadership. Then, you need to have the courage to periodically reassess, make adjustments, and pursue a course that reflects who you truly are." - Robert S. Kaplan, "Reaching Your Potential," Harvard Business Review

P.S. I'll leave you with this...


(Thanks, NKD.)

Sunday, March 4, 2012

156: I'm Fine, Thanks: Part Two (Filming Day)

(This is Part Two of my experience with I'm Fine, Thanks (a documentary about the pervasive problem of complacency in America). Click HERE for Part One.)

The following events took place in New York, NY on March 1, 2012:

Baker and Grant rented a studio at Ripley-Grier on 8th Ave & 55th St. (on my recommendation as a suitable venue). Though we we were concerned about the "city noise" being overpowering...Ripley-Grier is a quintessential New York "actor" setting. Many, many, many auditions and rehearsals are held in studios just like these all over the city every day. So it seemed like the perfect venue to interview an aspiring New York actor...LOL!... me.

I showed up at the studio at 8pm, as we had agreed via email. I'd never met Baker or Grant or the rest of the team and really didn't know what to expect.

I came around the corner and there they were! Five handsome young men...with massive amounts of camera and lighting equipment strewn about them in the hallway.

I approached and one of them glanced over and noticed me standing nearby...quietly observing them.

"Hi. Are you Virginia?"

"Yup. Hi."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Bryan...This is John...and Dustin...and..."

And then there he was!!!! ADAM BAKER of Man Vs. Debt! Real. Live. IN PERSON.

OMG!

I totally had a nervous "I'm-meeting-a-celebrity" moment as I shook his hand. I mean, he's not FAMOUS in the traditional sense, I suppose...but because I follow his blog and have read so many of his stories/words/thoughts...and I LOVE, LOvE, LOvE how he's shared his whole journey online and I have such deep respect for all the good he's doing in the world. And how he's not some privileged person...or some PhD with tons of degrees or something...he's just a normal guy who is passionate about helping people and inspiring them to know that anyone can do what he's done...follow their dreams.

He's sooooooo awesome! He's creating the kind of life that feels meaningful and successful to him...according to his own definition of success and his own personal values. He's no longer buying into "scripted life" that society has been spouting...of consumerism and conformity. And by blogging about his journey online he's created a community of like-minded people to rally around him and support him in his dreams...as he inspires and supports them.

Sound familiar?

It's people like Adam Baker that inspired me to create the Acceptance Project Blog. Soooo THANK YOU, Baker! You've already changed this girl's life...and you didn't even KNOW it.

Of course, I didn't actually SAY any of that to his face. I was actually quite "cool" and "calm" and said, "Hi. Nice to meet you. Um, thanks for letting me be a part of your film. This is really a thrill."

Baker was very warm and down-to-Earth and seemed genuinely excited to meet me too! He was very complimentary about my blog...which, of course, made me feel like a million bucks!!! Soooooo nice of him to say!!!

Then I got to meet Grant, the director, who also has a theatre background...so naturally, we got along instantaneously. He's livin' his dream right now, making this documentary. So it was super fun to get to see him in his element...Having the TIME OF HIS LIFE making this film happen. Very inspirational!

Here's the Team:
Grant (the director)
Adam (the producer)
Dustin (production assistant)
Bryan (first cameraman)
John (second cameraman)

The rest of the evening sped by lightening-fast. So much awesomeness in just four short hours!!!

Here's how it went:

8pm - 8:20pm
We got into the studio and the team started setting up. Baker and I sat and chatted a bit. Though not toooooo much, because he wanted to save the "meaty" conversation for the on-camera interview. I was sooooo super happy just to be hanging out with these guys, watching them all making the magic happen, and getting to chill with Baker and hear about their filming experiences thus far. They've only just begun their travels across the country...to meet lots of folks who are pursuing their dreams and have agreed to share their stories with Baker and Grant. It all sounds very exciting... and it's veeeery different from the office-day-job-world...where I spend most of my time now-a-days.

8:20pm - 9:30pm
Camera is on me. Lights are in my face. Wired for sound. Seated on a stool and ready to bear my soul to Adam Baker and hopefully share some of what I've learned from these months of blogging and years of failing to get into grad school. He asked me all sorts of questions...What were my childhood dreams? How did I know I wanted to act? Where there people in my life that didn't support my career choice? How do I deal with rejection?...That kind of thing.

Dude. It was sooo crazy/awesome to get to sit there and share my story. I mean, the fact that they even CARED about my perspective on any of this stuff was really profoundly strange to me. LOL! My life truly isn't very noteworthy. I guess it's interesting in the fact that I am a quintessentially ordinary person...being extraordinarily transparent in my blog...and perhaps extraordinarily stubborn in my desire to create a sustainable career as an actor.

So basically, that's the kind of stuff we talked about. I have no idea if any of it will actually make it into the final cut of the film...But, honestly? That doesn't really matter to me. I got to meet Adam Baker and tell him my story...and no matter what...that's one of the coolest things I've ever had the privilege to do!

9:30pm - 10pm
Monologue time!!! We changed the camera set up and I got three glorious takes performing my monologue for the camera. AHHHHHHHHH!!!! This was sooooooo fun. It was like I got to pretend to be the leading lady in a film for a little while. "All right, Mr. Demille. I'm ready for my close-up!" And the guys were sooooo supportive. It really felt wonderful to be able to work with them.

I did two takes straight into the camera...And THEN, I asked Grant to be my scene partner (off-camera) for the third take...And he's an actor too...so he gave me an improvised line to respond to. And WOW. He was totally GIVING IT back to me the whole time I was doing the monologue. Just sooo present, reacting to me, facial expressions, right with me the WHOLE TIME. It was so FUN! Gave me tons of great inspiration to work with in-the-moment.

When we were all done, I said, "Grant! I bet you didn't know you were actually going to be required to ACT in your own film did you?" He laughed joyously. Once an actor...always an actor.

10pm - 10:30pm
Time is up!!! The studio was closing up, so we quickly moved all the equipment out into the hallway and packed everything up. Laughing. Joking. Glowing from all the fun. Said goodbye to Bryan, Dustin and Baker. But not before a little photo op!


Look! Photographic proof! This REALLY happened!
(Grant, me, Baker)


10:30pm - 11:45pm
B-roll time. Grant wanted to get some shots of me walking around Times Square, with all the lights on Broadway. Sooooo sterotypically NYC. Ya gotta do it. Ya just gotta. So there I was...walking around Times Square at night...my blue coat...my scarf...and my BIG DREAMS lighting up Broadway. Grant and John were trailing me with two cameras and capturing shots of me and all the tourists and all the crazies.

I. WAS. LIVING.

Every moment of this was totally surreal and fantastical for me. Even John was like, "You are loving every minute of this, aren't you?"

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I mean, just to give you some context...Soon after I moved to NY, there was a particular day when I was walking through Times Square at dusk and crying. I was exhausted from auditioning for months and never getting callbacks... I was broke... I was heading off to a promotional job where I'd be standing behind a table at a corporate event...getting paid like $10 an hour...and I missed my family back in CA...I was like..."What am I doing here? I don't belong in this place. No one cares if I live or die here."...and I felt like I had noooo prospects of NY life changing any time soon...and as I looked up at the lights and the billboards mocking me with all of their false promises of opportunity, I thought to myself..."I wonder how hard it is to get a prescription for anti-depressants in this town?" I felt completely invisible, unwanted, and unnecessary.

So now... walking through Times Square with two camera men setting up shots of me staring hopefully up at the lights on those billboards...only THIS time I had made the opportunities possible by my sheer commitment to sticking-with-it...

"Oh, New York...You can try to crush me...But I will not be crushed. I will survive!!!!"

Yeah. This Times Square experience was totally relish-worthy.

(Photo by John Cropper)

HAPPY!

11:45pm - Midnight
All done. Said good night to Grant and John. Thanked them again for this wonderful opportunity. Walked...no, FLOATED to the subway at 42nd St. Just as the clock struck midnight...and the N train barreled into the station...I realized that the enchantment had ended. I was Cinderella again. But I had just gotten to go to the BALL! And no one would ever be able to take that experience away from me.

Bliss.

Dude, all I did was start a blog about FAILING to get into grad school and trying to become a successful actress in spite of the obstacles. And what happened? I got to be a part of an AMAZING documentary like I'm Fine, Thanks!!!

I mean... WOWZERS! I am very fortunate, indeed.

Soooooo happy to know that by sharing about my unwavering and passionate commitment to acting...and by opening myself up to failing publicly... that other people have found value in the process. That makes the sting of not being accepted to one of the grad-schools-of-my-dreams this year...a little bit easier to bear.

If failing is this good. Success is going to BLOW MY MIND.

Loves,
V

P.S. There will be a Kickstarter campaign launching in April to help finance I'm Fine, Thanks. If you're interested in supporting the film and/or would like to get updates on how to SEE the film when it's finished...PLEASE CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE CRANK TANK STREET TEAM MAILING LIST...and you can also "like" Crank Tank on FaceBook! Thanks for all your support, guys!