96. Create Yourself

"I love the chemistry that can be created onstage between the actors and the audience. It's molecular even, the energies that can go back and forth. I started in theater. and when I first went into movies I felt that my energy was going to blow out the camera." - Glenn Close

Sooooo my Christmas gift to myself today was to treat myself to a film...a great film. I chose to see Albert Nobbs starring Glenn Close at The Film Society of Lincoln Center. (Though Glenn Close is not a graduate of NYU, Yale or Juilliard...I am happy to feature her on this blog...because...as we all know...one does NOT need to have an MFA from one of these schools to be a great actor.)

Albert Nobbs is an incredibly beautiful film filled with subtle and emotionally resonant performances. I would like to call your attention to one particular scene where Albert Nobbs (a woman who has been passing as a man for 30 years in order to work and survive in 19th century Ireland) is asked a simple question..."What's your real name?"... Watch the clip...Then let's discuss...

Awesome. Isn't Glenn Close brilliant!? Sooooo much going on in that reaction, yet so simple. LOVE it.

This scene got me thinking about the realities we all create for ourselves. She's been living as a man for 30 YEARS!!! That is a looooooong time to be playing a role...so much so that she's BECOME Albert. That's her IDENTITY now. She identifies herself only as Albert, but she is in fact a WOMAN. I love the complexity of that!

And aren't we all complex in that way? Okay, maybe not so much with the gender-bending thing...but in other ways...We identify ourselves with certain labels that we fully believe...because we've created a reality for ourselves where that has become our truth...(ex. I am an actor. I like earl grey tea. I live in Astoria.)

So...what if...in order to survive in 21st century America...I had to completely change my reality, my identity and make myself into somebody else in order to live the life I want to live? Could I give up earl grey tea? Could I give up my identity? Could I move to a different city? Change my name? What kind of trauma would cause me to need to make such changes?

I find all of that fascinating...Mostly because...I feel like I AM doing that...creating my new reality...Only, I'll keep my name and I am not giving up earl grey tea. But I have completely changed the circumstances of where I live and where I work and redefining my identity as an artist...all in the name of survival...creative survival.

The creative direction of my life was NOOOOT leading me in the direction that I wanted to go. So I'm creating a new reality, where I am able to be who I am...who I see myself as...who I am becoming.

I mean, if you felt like who you had become was not working out so well or not making you happy...who's to say you can't change? Become the person you want to become. The person you know you want to be, deep inside. Live as this person...act as this person would act...until you believe it in your core...and love yourself as much as possible...Albert could probably stand to throw in a little more self-loving, I think. But, man, she's super brave for transforming herself and recreating her life on her own terms.

She knows who she is... because she's created herself. She is Albert.

I think that's courageous. Courage is what I see when I watch the clip above. But like with any great performance...you may see something completely different reflected back at you.

Thoughts? Care to share? Disagree with me? Would love to hear other perspectives. Comments are always welcome below.

Loves,
V

P.S. Merry Christmas!

P.P.S. Submitted my NYU application and scheduled my audition for 9am on Sunday, January 22nd. Yay!!!

P.P.P.S. Only one more application left to complete...Yale. That's next on the agenda...Last, but not least. :-)

63. A Non-Linear Path To Doritos

"Many of you have the illusion of being separate, alone, disconnected and unsupported and yet you are not. If you begin to focus on how everything is connected then you will begin to experience a greater sense of support, belonging and harmony. You will begin to streamline your intentions and trust the universe to deliver. Your life will become richer and you will feel more active and participatory rather than passive and victimized." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Ever look back on your life and realize that things hardly ever happen in the way you might think?

One thing leads to another... leads to another... leads to another... It's damn-near impossible to predict!

Today, I shall share with you one such example from my own life...

How I got to be in a Doritos Commercial that was entered into this year's Crash The Superbowl contest and will hopefully be aired during said Superbowl and win the grand prize of a MILLION dollars, but if not... is still a really coooool gig and a project I am really glad to be a part of and is only the beginning of a great creative relationship!!!

Here's how it happened step-by-step:

Four years ago I found out that the School of Visual Arts in NY was having an actor/film-maker mixer.

I attended said "mixer" and gave my headshot and resume to the casting director who put me into the database.

In seemingly unrelated news... My friend Christine dragged me to Yoga To The People one evening after work and I was HOOKED. I started doing yoga once or twice a week... and still do.

I would occasionally get emails from the casting director at SVA inviting me to come and participate as an actor in some of the student's film directing classes.

For years I never could make it to any of the dates she invited me to, but I kept resubmitting an updated headshot and resume with the casting director every year and kept in contact with her through email.

One day this summer she sent me an email inviting me again. This time I could make it work in my schedule and I agreed to do it.

I showed up at SVA and met student director Anna Alaimo. I was an actor in her comedic student short about a Nutellaholics Anonymous group. Fun!

I gave Anna my contact info and she promised to send me a link to the final cut of Nutellaholics Anonymous on YouTube.

In seemingly unrelated news... I began blogging on Sept. 5th.

Later in Sept., she sent me the link to the student short as promised. I sent her a "thank you" reply with a link to my BLOG attached.

She responded back with how much she loved the Don't Let The Perfect Be The Enemy Of The Good post and she said she felt like we were going through very similar spiritual journeys. She suggested we have lunch.

I gladly accepted.

We met up in midtown, had lunch at Dishes and hit it off like peanut butter and peanut butter.

She asked me if I ever do yoga and if I was free on Sunday.

I said... yes and yes.

In seemingly unrelated news... I work M-F, 9-5 and am often free on Sundays. :-p

She said that she was going to be shooting a Doritos Commercial for a contest and would I like to be in it?

Um... YES!!!!

Sunday came. I subway'd it over to the location in Manhattan. I brought my yoga mat. We shot the commercial.

Yesterday... she sent me a link to the final cut of said commercial.

Today... I am blogging about it.

Here's the "Ohm" DORITOS COMMERCIAL... Directed by Anna Alaimo.

So that's my non-linear path to Doritos.

Annnnnd we're shooting another scene on Thursday (unrelated to Doritos.. or Nutella) ... and Anna's working on a feature length script too!!! Soooo many fun things to look forward to!

But the best part of it all... is getting to have Anna in my life. She is first and foremost a great person and secondarily I LOVE working with her. I feel like we were sort-of meant to meet... Thank you, SVA! Thank you, Blogger.com! Thank you, Universe!

And THAT's how things happen in show business... or in business-business... or in life.


Ya never know!


Loves,
V

"The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

61. They've Messed With The Wrong One Now

"The capacity to do great things is mightily dependent upon one's ability to do little, baby, trite, mortal, dull and sometimes silly things." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

I'm reading Gail Collins' bestseller The Amazing Journey of American Women From 1960 To The Present: When Everything Changed (for funsies).

And you know who is truly an AMAZING, COURAGEOUS, SHARP-AS-A-TAC and TOTALLY INSPIRING woman?

Rosa Parks

I would love to be half as smart and courageous as she has been in serving her community. She has been a huge force for CHANGE in her own small way. Her simple act of sitting down and staying put on that bus in 1955 has impacted America in a huge way!

DO NOT MESS WITH THIS WOMAN. She is a gentle lady, but she will not be your doormat. She will stand-up for herself... by sitting down and politely refusing to accept disrespectful, unjust and discriminatory treatment.

Check out this quote from Gail's kick-ass history book...

"Parks, an old schoolmate remembered, was "self-sufficient, competent, and dignified" even as a child, a student who always wore a clean uniform, planned ahead, and never sneaked over to the boys' side of the school like some of the other girls did. Even in defiance, she was a perfect lady. When the Montgomery bus driver told her to give up her seat to a white man or be arrested, the petite, middle-aged seamstress calmly replied, "You may do that." Later, when her husband begged her not to allow herself to be turned into a test case, she coolly went ahead. ("He had a perfect terror of white people," recalled a friend. "The night we went to get Mrs. Parks from the jail, we went back to her apartment and he was drunk and he kept saying, 'Oh, Rosa, Rosa, don't do it, don't do it.... The white folks will kill you.'") When she appeared for her court date, she wore a long-sleeved black dress with white cuffs and a small velvet hat with pearls across the top. "They've messed with the wrong one now," cried out a black teenager, who turned out to be absolutely correct.... Rosa Parks's simple act of defiance in 1955 marked the beginning of the modern civil rights movement."

Rosa would no longer accept the status quo. She would no longer accept discrimination. She would no longer accept being treated with disrespect. She would not accept unequal treatment. She would not be undervalued. She knew she deserved better... and she knew her fellow black Americans deserved better too. So she sat and refused to get up. All. By. Herself.

Ballsy!

But she wasn't going to start a riot or scream and shout about it or stick a gun in somebody's face. She just sat down and would not move. She knew that was within her power to do and she did it. Simple.

I want to be like Rosa and find ways to "sit down for myself" and not accept disrespectful, unequal or discriminatory treatment from others. Thankfully I've never experienced discrimination to the extremes that Mrs. Parks and many others have had to endure, but I have certainly experienced some major disrespect and sometimes abusive treatment from others... verbal abuse, sexual harassment, gender discrimination, age discrimination, class discrimination, discrimination based on appearance or job-level or race... We've all had it at some point, in some way... and it feels TERRIBLE.

Disrespect that hits me close-to-home and breaks my heart to hear about... is disrespect toward actors. Ugh! It's so awful to hear stories like this one... CLICK HERE.

I wish that I was surprised by this incident when I first read about it, but unfortunately I wasn't shocked in the least. This kind of attitude and disrespectful treatment of actors is not uncommon and it really breaks my heart to acknowledge that reality.

Rudeness and disrespect are soooo unnecessary.

EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT.

Let's be kind to each other and treat each other with care, as equals on this journey of humanity. It takes a bit of extra effort sometimes, but it's soooooo worth it.

If you give respect, you are much more likely to get it back too. Nice, right?

Compassion and empathy are signs of strength. Cruelty is weak. And karma is REAL.

Rest assured... I would be very unlikely to attend a casting call for a casting director that has a reputation for rude or disrespectful behavior toward actors... whether they "tweet it" or not. Life's too short to put up with that kind of behavior.

Unprofessionalism?... No thanks!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T... Yes, please!

Accept nothing less.

Kindness is worth the effort. I'll sit down for that.

Love,
V

"Being fair and reasonable will earn you respect and admiration, but being genuinely kind will make you a total love magnet." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe