149. Sick In The Head

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." - Hippocrates

The past three days have been something of a blurrrrr. Fever, coughing, chills, hot/cold flashes, awfulness, ickyness, bleh, bleh, bleh.

As I have been dealing with this nasty flu virus that has taken over my body and realigned all of my current priorities, (Breathing has suddenly become #1...and is currently taking the most effort.) I have been aware of how negative my thoughts have been as well.

We're talking...DISASTER SCENARIOS...imagining myself in total calamity-mode...you know the kind of thing...dying alone...being totally physically incapacitated...losing everything I value...losing everyone I love...

Fun stuff, right?

And in my fever/illness/insanity all of these negative imaginings seem REAL to me. I mean, how can my body tell the difference between a "real thought" and an "imagined thought"? It can't. My body reacts to these emotionally devastating thoughts with elevated heart-rate, sweating, anxiety and depression as if they were REAL. 

Fight or flight...It ain't no joke.

But it's NOT REAL, Virginia! It's just brain static...like the radio coming through with a weak signal and you can barely make out the true voice on the other end through all the NOISE.

It got me thinking...Am I sick and therefore having negative thoughts? Or have my negative thoughts been contributing to my sickness?

The mind/body connection cannot be underestimated.

So where did I turn for answers? Naturally, I went straight to our modern-day oracle of universal knowledge: Google.

This is what I found...

Negative thinking can do more than just give you a bad attitude. Some researchers believe negative thinking may actually block impulses being transmitted to the brain from the central nervous system. The breakdown in communication could cause the body to receive information on a delayed basis. Negative thinking may even prevent the body from producing certain hormones in the body which could affect the immune system. These interruptions in the body’s functions could result in fatigue, higher susceptibility to illnesses, and trouble sleeping. 

The premise that negative thinking can interfere with the body’s function may still be just a theory, but there are certainly adverse physical effects associated with a chronic negative thinker. Rates of depression are significantly higher in people who regularly entertain negative thoughts. Depression has been proven to result in physical ailments such as tiredness, headaches, and upset stomachs. Negative thinkers are generally less happy people which has also been proven to have a similar effect on a person’s health as one who suffers with depression. 

Negative thinking will only bring misery and suffering to both the mind and body. Negativity serves no productive purpose. Those who are chronic negative thinkers are generally less happy in life, work, and relationships. And unhappiness in any, and especially all, of these facets of life will only serve to harm your health. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of situations, try to find the positive in it. Even the worst situation you endure can be considered a success just because you survived it.

- Brainz.org, "15 Stupid Things People Do To Their Bodies Without Realizing It"

Yet another incentive to change my negative thinking habit. It's damaging my immune system and making me more susceptible to becoming physically sick!!! Now, that's just not cool.

What's the old adage?... Mind over matter. 

There's a lotta truth in that.

Get your brain healthy, Wilcox...and then your body will get a clue.

:-)

I will kick-start the healing process by expressing some gratefulness...

1. For friends who see me in my weakened, deliriously sick state and go out of their way to make an effort to care for me...soooo comforting

2. For free sunshine and fresh air...soooo rejuvenating

3. For my body's ability to heal itself (in spite of my negativity)...such a miracle!

Feelin' better already.

Be well, everyone...in your thoughts and in your body...and don't forget to appreciate your breathing!

Loves,

V

P.S. Still no word from NYU.  :-p

“You can set yourself up to be sick, or you can choose to stay well.”

- Wayne Dyer

148. Cold

"You ever wonder why you get a cold

Look at the word - spell it - C-old.

C-OLD

You're pulled over by the reaper for a warning

He says,"I clocked you thinking 80"

You know you're not that old

You've been worried about the darkness in the morning

Well, I'll give you something to worry about, he says

And he flips open his ticket pad

Appreciate your breathing

I'm gonna write you up a headache for those thoughts

Now why you been so worried

What have you been reading

And why do you have to tally all you've lost

I'ma write you up a head cold

It comes on like bad weather

So maybe you'll appreciate the warming

See it gives a new perspective

Soon you'll be feeling better

I'll let you off this time

With a warning

He says, But take it easy, alright

People live around here

You won't see him in time

What I'm trying to say is

You'll miss him"

David Wilcox - Cold

50. My Ideal Body

“Shift your focus from what works in a controlled, “test tube” environment to what works in the real world. If you’re one of the small percentage of people who are genuinely drawn to lifting weights and using machines based on repetition and distraction, by all means have at it. You’re one of the lucky few. If not, cast a wider net to explore not only what, on paper, burns the most calories or builds the most muscle, but what makes exercise so enjoyable, engaging, and fulfilling that you will do whatever it takes to add more to your life every day. You need to find a way to feel good about exercising and to feel good while exercising.” – Jonathan Fields, Uncertainty: Turning Fear And Doubt Into Fuel For Brilliance

Everybody knows they should exercise and that the benefits are a healthier body and a longer life-span.  Duh! But I have found those to be not-so-motivating motivations when it comes to actually taking ACTION and exercising consistently. And I suspect I'm not the only one. 

Getting back into my ideal body, a.k.a… how I looked/felt when I was 19… has been a huge part of my creative process this year. Yes… CREATIVE… because with all my daily choices, I realize that I am slowly creating the body that I am living in! 

So I might as well make some good choices to feel good in the body that I've got, right? 

Simple. Logical. 

But how to motivate myself to not just talk about doing it, but to actually DO IT?  

Since May 2011, I have been committed myself to re-learning how I think about my relationship with food and my relationship with various kinds of physical activities… and all of this with the assistance, guidance, care and sometimes annoying enthusiasm of My Body Tutor, Adam Gilbert.

Actually, I feel like I haven’t been completely transparent with you guys by not writing about him more on the blog… because he’s such a HUGE part of my life every single day and a major champion of mine in ALL things. And, seriously, I have lost 20 lbs since May and I feel wonderful… and during that time I had two surgeries and still lost weight and he’s helped me to overcome my fear of getting back into dance class again and incorporating pilates and yoga and even some weight-lifting into my weekly routine… which I NEVER thought I would feel comfortable doing. I am in the best shape of my life as I sit and write these words. True story.

I will never regret my investment of time and money and energy working with Adam. I am a much more fearless and waaaay happier individual because of the personal growth I have experienced as a result of my daily commitment to my body and my time with MBT.

I found Adam, by chance, reading a blog post that he had written about consistency being the key to success in fitness. His philosophy about sustainable lifestyle change that works for YOU and gets you the results that YOU want… made me so excited to work with him! I had been hoping to find something like his program for a while and it came across my computer screen at just the right time for me. 

I was sick of feeling crappy in my body. I was ready to make a change. NO MORE EXCUSES!!! What was I so afraid of? Failing? I was already failing every single day to support my body in being the healthiest it could be. Now is the time for ACTION!

I knew what I needed to do (exercise & eat more nutritious foods) and I knew how I wanted to feel (SEXY/ENERGETIC/YOUNG) and how I wanted to look (HOT), I just didn’t know HOW I would motivate myself to be consistent enough to make those things happen or if the things I thought might work would actually yield the results that I was hoping for.

And I was scared. I'm no fitness expert! I needed SUPPORT!!! 

I knew I would need someone to tell me to stick with it when I didn't feel like sticking with it anymore and someone would be there to applaud me when I chose to have frozen yogurt instead of donuts!!! And from reading Adam's blog and alll about his fitness philosophy, he seemed like the right guy for the job!

I knew that if I committed to working with MBT, that he would be my resource for all fitness/nutrition related knowledge and that if I had a question he didn’t already know the answer to… that he’d find out for me. AND he'd totally be my champion, my cheerleader through the tough parts of the journey. Because, let me tell you, this guy is MOTIVATED. He LOOOOOVES his job… helping people change their own lives and find long-term, happy, sustainable ways to eat healthy and exercise in ways that his clients will be able to ENJOY and therefore CONTINUE and feel AMAZING in their bodies and EMPOWERED to take control of the one thing that many people feel like they can’t control… their own body.

I can honestly say that I would not be writing this blog, if it wasn’t for Adam. (He has his own awesome blog too at Guru Gilbert.) And was generous enough to be my blog mentor also! Waaaaay above and beyond his duties as my body tutor.

I could seriously write a novel about all of the ways that MyBodyTutor has helped me to grow as a human being, both physically and psychologically. But most importantly, it has shown me what awesome outcomes can happen by committing to doing something consistently, a little bit at a time, every single day.

Baby steps get big things done… It's not overwhelming if you just take it from moment to moment... One meal, one workout at a time…

All these same transformational skills I’ve learned from doing MBT can lead to success in any goal or whatever kind of life you might want to create for yourself.

One blog post… one monologue… one audition at a time… Adam and I joke that when I get accepted to grad school I can write a testimonial for him called “How MBT got me into Graduate School.” Ha!!! Wouldn’t that be awesome!?! Hope I actually get to write that.

Get the support you need in order to help yourself succeed, I say! And though Adam has HELPED me to make things happen… I know that it was actually ME that did the work… myself. And that makes me feel sooooo great. I CAN CHANGE and it doesn’t have to be HARD and I don’t have to do it someone else’s way. It can be FUN and EASY and SLOW and SUSTAINABLE and I can do it MY way and be successful at reaching my goals. That’s what works for me and the kind of life experience I want to have. And I FEEEEL wonderful… mind and body… for giving myself the gift of a commitment to a healthier me!

Anyhoo, I love MBT. Had to share.

If you have any questions about My Body Tutor, please feel free to email me at viavirginiawilcox at gmail dot com or you can email Adam Gilbert directly at adam at my body tutor dot com. It’s an online program. So he can help you get into your ideal body from ANYWHERE!

You can do it. No joke.

And when you do get into your ideal body and you feel F#*ING AMAZING... I do also accept "thank you" notes at the above email address as well. 

:-)

Be well,

Virginia

Photo by Dylan Patrick Photography

“My idea of hell would be seeing what you could have accomplished if only you had tried your hardest.” – Adam Gilbert, My Body Tutor

  

32. Top 7 Things I Am Grateful For Today

“You’ve already gone farther than you used to dream of going.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

I love this quote because it reminds me to look at my current life with a sense of context. It’s not about “Why am I not already at my destination?” That will NEVER lead me to happiness or a sense of contentment.

It’s way more fun to think… “Look at where I am at now, as compared to where I used to be… or where I THOUGHT I might be waaaaay back when.” 

I like to have a thankful attitude, for all of life’s crazy twists-and-turns and obstacles-overcome and lessons-learned. It gives me a sense of hope and freedom-from-stress about the future. 

So allllll this time I spend plotting and planning and anticipating what will bring me happiness in the future is really for naught... lol… yeah, I know that life will unfold the way it will, even with all my best intentions… and THANK GOODNESS! Because I think the way things have turned out so far is waaaaay better than I could have dreamed. So I don’t sweat it so much anymore.

I have survived these first 30 years (the good, the bad, the embarrassing, etc.) and I am able to be happy… even though the circumstances of my life NOW are never what I had anticipated they would be… I still have the ability to choose happiness.

I try to move toward what makes me feel good in my life today and away from things that don’t make me feel good. Don't get me wrong, I’m not looking for instant pleasure. Rather, I aim for lasting satisfaction. But even long-term satisfaction starts with feeling good now about myself now and my choices now and my life now.

My mantra is…

I love to be doing only that which is truly good for me.

And when I am actually living my mantra, my life feels super awesome… guaranteed. 

Because when I am being good to myself, more goodness starts flowing into my life. Sounds a little woo-woo, perhaps, but in my experience, I have found it to be absolutely true…as true as the sky is blue above the clouds.

So in the interest of taking stock of the awesomeness that I daily experience, but often ignore, I am going to write out the top 7 things I am grateful for today. Why 7? That’s my lucky number. And I am a very, very lucky girl/woman/person.

“A little gratitude goes a long way.” – Lena Stevens, ThePower Path

1. My body. It feels great to have a body. The way warm water slides along the skin in the shower or the way a cool breeze tickles the hair on your arms, the relief of a great exhale of breath or the way the earth feels gritty and solid beneath your toes. Sensations are amazing. The body, especially one that is free from pain, is such a gift.

2. Financial independence. Historically, many women have been supported financially by their families or husbands, as a common practice. However, because of the freedoms of our modern society, women in America are able to be the breadwinners for themselves. When I was finally able to pay my bills all on my own, without being dependent on anyone else for any financial assistance… this felt like a HUGE accomplishment for me and gave me a huge sense of personal pride.  It feels AMAZING to be able to pay my rent all on my own and know that my financial decisions are mine and mine alone. Hard-earned lesson, but soooo worth it. Liberating.

3. Loving and supportive friends. I have made an effort in recent years to be very careful and selective about who I spend my time with and who I trust my heart with and who I allow myself to be vulnerable with. People that are caring and fun and support me in my mantra (see above), tend to stay around and we grow together as humans and learn how to love and support each other more and more!… And those that don’t fit that description… well, I let them go... with love and best wishes.

4. New York. This city has been the most challenging partner I’ve ever encountered in life. That song lyric, “If you can make it here, you’ll make it anywhere…” Um… yeah… That is TRUE… Not because New York is MEAN or something. It’s not. It’s awesome! It’s just that it’s intense to live here. There’s a lot of humans living in a very small amount of space and there’s so much going on all the time and it totally challenges you psychologically. How do people learn to handle all this constant stimuli and the crowds and the opportunity and the disappointment and the need to rest and be renewed? How to find a way to balance all of that and still remain in-touch with your unique essence? There's no "right" answer. Everyone's got to find their own. That’s why that song lyric is so freakin’ true. If you can survive New York and still manage to remain YOU… Wow… You are one flexible/strong human being.

5. My day-job. I don’t talk a ton about my day-job on this blog. Mostly because… I know that I will have to leave it, if/when I do get into grad school and that makes me a little sad, I must admit. I am very well-suited to my current work. I love my bosses. I look forward to being there every day. My contributions are appreciated. I am well-compensated. I get to travel occasionally. It’s not stressful and it’s fun. Truly… my experience at this job has given me so much confidence and joy… I know I will always look back on it as one of the best times of my life. It’s helped to give me the courage to continue on my current trajectory and for that I will always, always be grateful.

6. Giving teachers. I have been a sponge for learning in the past several years, soaking up knowledge from people and books and experiences… where ever I can get it. I am soooo grateful for all of my teachers, both formal and informal, for sharing their thoughts/experiences/lives with me. I love learning from other people’s stories and allowing them to inspire my own. I especially admire their courage to speak up and share, in spite of their fears. I have benefited from their acts of courage in ways that they will never know.

7. This blog. This blog… has given me a voice. Well, I guess I’ve always had a voice… but I didn’t necessarily feel like I had the right to speak up… or that anyone would give a flying-f*#k about what I thought. And by giving myself the challenge to really check-in daily and write candidly about my process… well, I feel like I am benefiting from the experience waaaaaay more than anyone else is! And the fact that this is blog post number 32… and I’m still going… and that there’s somebody out there that’s actually reading this?! That’s CRAZY/AWESOME. I’ve currently got 77 email subscribers! That’s insane to me…That I press “send” and that little action sends my rantings to 77 people’s inboxes… for them to promptly delete… or maybe READ. Whew! Very cool.

Anyhoo, life is literally awesome when you really take stock of it. So I encourage you to take a minute and write out your top 7… or 12… or 262 things that you’re grateful for today. There is sooooo much good in this world and so much to be grateful for and so much more unanticipated awesomeness yet to come.

Thanks for reading.

Love,

Virginia

“If you look for what’s right – in others, in relationships, in yourself and your journey – you’ll always find it… Same when looking for what’s wrong.” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

11. =IF(logical test, [value_if_true], [value_if_false])

Okay, guys… Am totally about to geek-out on you this morning…

But I seriously woke up thinking about how the “=IF” function in Excel applies to my life. This is a true statement.

Excel is about as “math-y” as I get. Really it’s just a big, fancy calculator on a grid.

The way functions work in Excel seems magical to me. And I love magic.

So my subconscious is making magical calculations in my sleep? 

So be it.

Let me explain… Stay with me now... 

The “=IF” function in Excel checks whether a condition is met in a certain cell and then, in another cell, returns one value if that condition is “True,” and returns another value if that condition is “False.”

I do this to test my beliefs.

In Excel…

=IF(logical test, [value_if_true], [value_if_false])

In my head…

=IF(I am powerful beyond all measure, [I should believe this statement and live my life as if I am a powerful person that can make an impact for good in the world], [I should disbelieve this statement and live my life shrinking in fear, feeling powerless and focusing only on my own weakness and self-protection])

Hmmmm? Which value would I rather choose? The [value_if_true] or the [value_if_false]?

TRUE! Clearly serves me better. No question.

And this function can and has applied to soooo many areas of my life…

Relationships…

=IF(I deserve to have a loving relationship that brings joy and growth into my life every day, [I should believe this statement and take great care in allowing someone into my life who will love me unconditionally and will allow me to love him unconditionally and I will not settle for anything less], [I should disbelieve this statement and fearfully cling to any relationship, even if it negatively affects my life, because I am lucky to have someone, anyone paying attention to me and the thought of being alone scares the crap out of me])

Finances…

=IF(My time is valuable and I am capable of supporting myself financially on my own, [I should believe this statement and know the specific amount of money I need to make in order to live the lifestyle that feels best for me and continue to search for work until I find a job that will give me that amount of compensation so that I will never have to stress-out about how I will be able to afford to pay my bills], [I should disbelieve this statement and take the first job that comes my way even though it really doesn’t pay me enough to be able to survive but it’s better than nothing and looking for a new job is scary and takes effort so I’ll just stay with this one that really doesn’t serve me because I don’t feel confident that it is actually possible to get paid the amount of money I need to be making anyway])

My Body…

=IF(I have a healthy/sexy/beautiful body that I feel great in, [I should believe this statement and make healthy food and exercise choices every single moment to continue to support the health and longevity of my body because I am strong enough to take responsibility for my own choices and my body is a precious gift that I have been given and I love myself and I enjoy the feeling of satisfaction that I get from taking great care of it], [I should disbelieve this statement and know that no matter what I do I will never be able to feel great in my body so it doesn’t matter that I eat unhealthy because changing my behavior with food is too hard for me and I can’t make it a priority to exercise because I don’t have time and even when I do exercise it never actually makes me feel any better anyway so there is no point in trying because I am just going to fail and feel worse])

Applying to Grad School...

=IF(I am worthy of acceptance to the graduate school of my choice, [I should believe this statement and fearlessly move forward and apply myself doing everything I can to prepare the best way I know how to become the kind of student that I would respect and admire and want to be in class with because I am dedicated and talented and passionate and have gifts to contribute to the world and it would be a shame for me to waste my life away sitting behind a computer for the next 30-50 years], [I should disbelieve this statement and give up trying because I have failed twice already and that must mean that I am not talented enough to get in and maybe I'm not actually any good at acting anyway and trying a third time and failing will be so devastating and embarrassing that I may spontaneously-combust and I will forever be known as that loser who tried and failed three times and then burst into flames of inadequacy and it's dumb to follow your dreams anyway because dreamers are silly people that delude themselves into believing things that are never going to happen and though other people are sometimes lucky and get into those schools I will never ever be accepted and I shouldn't even try])

Yup. 

Jump into my head, people! Ha!

I love the “=IF” function. Who knew it would be so applicable in non-math too?!

And it definitely helps to write out the false statement. Because it always sounds so silly when you read what you’ve written and you know that it’s SOOOO clearly false, but sometimes it sounds true in your head.

Disempower the false!!! Write it out!

Essentially, I ask myself… If this is true, what else is true?

Annnnd… as I am able to make tiny changes to improve one area of my life… those skills, that confidence, that momentum can lead to improvements in the other areas of my life as well.

Do your own logical test. What’s your “=IF” Function?

(Geekiness. Done. Close parentheses.)

((((Love))))

Virginia

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.' We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

(Williamson, Marianne. A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles", Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3])