Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

171. Those Who Truly Love You Will Understand

"Ours is a stimulating world -- often an overstimulating one...we have our families, our friends, our jobs, and our other pursuits -- all potential sources of stress and sensory overload...If "still waters run deep," the noisy rapids of our lives make it hard to be anything but shallow. Our deeper selves are muffled, overtaxed, and overextended. Our sensibilities are stripped of their fine tuning. We become numb to our own responses and reactions. Life is "too much" for many of us... 
Our energies are drained not by coping with our output of creative energy but from coping with the ceaseless inflow of distractions and distresses that bid for our time, attention, and emotional involvement. As artists, we are great listeners, and as the volume is pitched too high, our inner ear and our inner work suffers. 
When a creative artist is fatigued, it is often from too much inflow, not too much outflow. When we are making something, we are listening to an inner voice that has many things to tell us -- if we will listen. It is hard to listen amid the chatter. It is hard to listen amid chaos. It is hard to listen amid the static of ungrounded and demanding energy. 
Contrary to mythology about us, artists are generous, often overly generous. We listen to others deeply, sometimes too deeply for our own good. We are susceptible to their hurt feelings and their pouting when we withdraw, and so sometimes we do listen to them even as our creative energy ebbs out of our own life and into theirs. This creates exhaustion, irritation, and, finally, rage.
It's not that we are unwilling to share our time and attention. It is that people must give us the courtesy of listening accurately to our needs about when and how we can do it...We have the right to determine along what lines we want our energies to flow. For this reason, we may need to draw more boundaries than many people, and those who love us must be conscious that unless they can respect this, they are not a friend at all. 
As artists, our inflow level must be kept manageable and we must "train" our friends and families and colleagues at work when and how we need our space, both physical and psychic... 
This is why busy executives have secretaries -- to monitor their inflow and keep it from becoming overwhelming to their creative process... 
Virginia Woolf said all artists need a room of their own... 
An artist requires solitude and quiet -- which is different from solemnity and isolation. Artists require respect for their thoughts and their process, but that respect must start with us. An artist needs to be treated well -- but often we are the ones who must begin that treatment, and one way we do it is by carefully setting our own valve on how much inflow is allowed to come into us." 
- Chapter 6: Discovering a Sense of Boundaries, Walking In This World


The above is taken from Julia Cameron's wonderful book Walking In This World: The Practical Art of Creativity. I had the opportunity to read and "work through" this book with a group of fellow artists while we were performing in Shanghai, China in 2009.

Julia's world-view and musings on the creative artist's mind have truly changed my life. She writes incredibly honest and nuturing books on creativity.

If you like what you read above and would like to find out more, please check out her website and find something that speaks to you. Pick up a copy or download it to your phone/computer/iPad/Kindle. Her words will help you to enrich your enjoyment of your own creative process...guaranteed.

Be courageous. Speak up for yourself. Nurture your inner artist. Set the boundaries you need.

The crazy-makers will get pissed-off...and those who truly love you will understand.

Loves,
V

Thursday, March 1, 2012

154. Morning Person

"I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel." - Audrey Hepburn

I woke up early this morning, so that I could have a little time for some stillness and solitude in my day. Haven't had that in a loooooong while.

I never used to be a "morning person." But now, I do appreciate the small joys of waking up before the sun...before the neighborhood springs to life with activity.

My schedule is really crazy/busy right now...filled with a lot of stuff that I'm not excited about doing, but that I am obligated to complete. I know that it is possible for me to experience joy, even in the midst of these obligatory tasks. And taking a little time to sit, meditatively with my coffee, in the pre-day quiet, in my cozy apartment...is essential to me being able to bring a joyful attitude to whatever may come my way today.

We get sooooooo busy with our own to-do lists...not to mention all the to-dos that other people expect us to accomplish for THEM...Replies to those emails/emails/emails, pick up some milk at the store before you head home, buy a gift for so-and-so's party, donate to that fundraiser, make plans to meet up with what's-his-name for dinner, pack that change of clothes for yoga class, get those taxes done, fix that coat with the annoying rip in the pocket, clean the bathroom, put away the laundry, start that new project for work that needs to be completed in two days and you have no idea how that's going to happen because you haven't even had time to complete the normal daily tasks, let alone start something new.

AHHHHHH!

Shhhhhhhhh....

Mmmmmorning....Quiet....Breathing....

I tend to feel like...once these tasks get accomplished....THEN I'll be able to really enjoy some well-deserved quiet/relaxation time. But it actually works the OPPOSITE way...I've got to take some quiet time NOW or I won't be able to ENJOY accomplishing any of the tasks above.

If I've gotta pick up milk at the grocery store...might as well pick it up with joy and SMILE at the check-out clerk in the process.

That's what I HOPE I'll be able to do anyway. May fall short...but that's okay too. I'll forgive myself and resolve to smile next time.

Hope you will take a moment of quiet for yourself today...even in a small way...and that investment will give you the benefit of a day filled with joyful accomplishments.

Love,
V

"There is perhaps no more empowering belief than understanding you're always in control of how you feel. Similarly, understanding that just because you're not always skipping through the tulips with joy doesn't mean that something's wrong with you." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

135. 1040 Aversion

"Do it now!" - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

I am working on my taxes today. I know...SUPER EXCITING, right?  

Hold on...Wait!...Don't click away yet...keep reading...you know you LOVE hearing all about how much taxes suck...Misery loves company! 

So, I know that most people aren't even going to be THINKING about their taxes until April or so, but I have to get them done suuuuuper early this year because I need to file the FAFSA. And I've gotta get ready to submit all the financial aid paperwork for grad school (should I happen to receive an offer for admission).

I am sooooooo resistant to doing all this financial-number-crunching and paper-pushing. It's one of my top 5 least favorite things to do in the world. And I would avoid it at all costs...if it wasn't required by LAW to file taxes every year. 

Sigh. I don't mind contributing some of my income to the good of our society, but does the process of filing the paperwork have to be so freakin' complex? Just sayin'...

It's gotta get done though, so...

In motivating oneself to sit down and tackle a project that one would rather NOT do...What are the tricks that you use to help you get through it?

Here are some of mine:

1. Set aside a BIG chunk of time. (Rushing only stresses me out MORE.)

2. Taxes are always better with red wine. ;-)

3. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. (It's not going to be perfect, so do it well enough to get the job done. But don't stress if you can't find EVERY receipt and can't deduct EVERY expense. Besides, if you discover a mistake later...you can always fix it by filing an amendment to your taxes. No worries.)

4. Get the help you need. (I have an AWESOME tax professional that helps me with my taxes every year. She specializes in the unique financial situations of actors and performers. She's a great resource for all my questions. And she always does a fantastic job and is very reliable. Love her! But before she was recommended to me, I always used TurboTax...which was a great tool too.)

5. Focus on how great you're going to feel when it's all DONE. (Though I may be banging my head against the wall right now, muttering expletives under my breath and sighing in frustration every 10 minutes...I know that when this thing is alllll done and I've got it all signed and finished and can look forward to a nice refund from the government about to be direct-deposited into my account...THAT will feel AWESOME.)

6. Think of the future benefit. (If I DO get accepted to grad school this year...and am able to get a good, solid financial-aid package from the grad school of my dreams...Well, then I will look back on this day of tax-return-preparation-torture...and I will be VERY HAPPY with myself that I took this time to get it DONE. It will be a HUGE pay-off in the end...I hope.)

7. Be grateful you're an "adult" now. (Sorry, if this one doesn't apply to you yet. It will someday. You have something awesome to look forward to. Trust and believe...Since I'm 30, I no longer have to submit my parents' financial info for the FAFSA. In undergrad, that used to be the bane of my existence. Nagging people to get stuff done is NOT my fave. I am very happy that, at least now, I don't have to deal with motivating my PARENTS to complete their tax returns early too. I just have to motivate myself.)

8. Keep starting. (When I hit a roadblock or a tough moment where I just want to throw all my receipts into the air and shoot them with a flame-thrower...I take a deep breath and think. "Okay, I'll just start from here." And for some reason, that allows me to keep going. Can't really pin-point exactly WHY that works for me, but it does.)

It's so strange to be doing alllllll this work sooooo early and not knowing if I'm even going to need it. But, on the other hand, even if I don't get accepted to grad school this year...I will still need to file my taxes...so it's gotta get done at some point...might as well be now, right?

Getting into grad school will be AWESOME!!!!!...Paying for grad school?.... Hmmmmm...that's going to be...challenging.

Since there haven't been any millionaires sending anonymous contributions to my Paypal account offering to finance my future education and no corporate sponsorship agreements have been signed...I'll have to go through all the normal channels to try to secure some financial support and make my grad school aspirations a REALITY.

So I'll have to stop blogging and get back to it...Here I go...

"TAXES...YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME! I WILL DEFEAT YOU! WHERE HAVE YOU HIDDEN MY CALCULATOR?! DON'T MAKE ME PULL OUT THE FLAME-THROWER! WHAH HA HA HA HA!"

;-P

Anyhoo,...HAPPY TAXES to all ya'll filing the FAFSA this year...and commiserating with my 1040 aversion.

Best wishes to all...

May your federal return be hefty and your estimated family contribution be minuscule.

Loves,
V

"Perhaps the hardest linear process to let go of is the accounting part of the mind that links the amount of money you have in the bank to what is possible. Get rid of this limiting process, be practical but don't base your goals and commitments on something as powerless as money. Practice seeing money as an energy and play with increasing that energy instead of counting dollars." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Sunday, February 5, 2012

132. Overwhelmed

Whew!!!!

I had such grandiose plans for the evening, guys...

I was going to post the 5th installment of the Juilliard Drama Audition series...and start writing my Yale Drama Audition post...and clean my room... and do laundry for the coming week... and get to bed before 11pm.

Oh! And did I mention that I auditioned for Yale at 10am this morning?

I know!!!! Am expecting myself to be able to accomplish waaaaaay too many things, or what?

So rather than half-assing everything...I'm just going to admit to you all...

I am overwhelmed.

I will be posting the 5th installment of the Juillard Auditions...but it won't be tonight...and I will be posting about my experience about the Yale Auditions...but it probably won't be 'til later this week. Gotta get all my thoughts together on that one.

I'm keepin' it real with ya'll.  I am POOPED!

I have got to detach myself from this computer and go to sleep, like, pronto!

Sending you all sooooo much Super Bowl love...Gooooooo team!...(Whichever one you happen to be cheering for. I will cheer for them too...while I fall asleep on my pillow.)

Loves,
V

"In order that people may be happy in their work, these three things are needed: they must be fit for it; they must not do too much of it; and they must have a sense of success in it." - John Ruskin, author, art critic & social reformer (1819-1900)
 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

77. Stress Cadet

"Cut people slack...Their actions might not reveal their enduring character, but instead reflect some situation they find themselves in. Forbearance is a form of generosity." - Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

Soooo yesterday was one of THOSE days at work. It was kind-of like "Opening Night" of a show. You know the sort of day where everything has been building up to this one final moment and you're in last-minute-prep-mode and everybody's excited and a little on-edge and anything that goes wrong feels like a crisis (but really isn't)? That was my day yesterday.

Here are some of my learning "take-aways" from my high-pressure day:

1. When the $h*t hits the fan, you want to be surrounded by quality people that you trust to help support you... otherwise, reaching out for help will only ADD to your stress, because you haven't established enough trust to know that they'll come through for you in your time of need.

2. Know that you are NOT seeing the bigger picture when you are STRESSED out, so give people as much slack and compassion as you can possibly muster... as your blood-pressure skyrockets off the chart.

3. Yelling will not help anyone do anything better/faster... It will just make everyone feel bad and if you are the one yelling... it will not make you feel any better either. So speak your words with care.

4. Take a step back before REACTING... breathe... take a walk... splash some cold water on your face (but don't ruin your make-up)... call a friend... have a snack... DO SOMETHING to get in a good headspace before moving forward. It's worth taking the time to do... even when it seems like there is NO TIME... Because you do NOT want to say something that you're going to REGRET.

5. Communicate what you need to get the job done... nicely... and be HONEST about where you are at. If you have too much on your plate... delegate... hand something off to someone you trust and give yourself some relief.

6. Don't deny it! People KNOW if you're stressed. They see it exuding from your pores... so just admit it, rather than trying to pretend you're FINE. It will feel better just to SAY IT. Then hopefully, you can feel like you can stop fighting, let the stressful feeling be what it is and move forward as best you can in the moment.

7. Say THANK YOU to everyone who is helping to make things happen before "show time." A little gratitude goes a looooong way in keeping everyone on the same page (including YOU)... that we're all a TEAM and working toward the same goal: an AWESOME & SUCCESSFUL event/show/presentation/etc.

8. Have a sense of humor. Make a joke!!! Laughter releases sooooo much tension. (P.S. I am TERRIBLE at this... I have such a hard time laughing when I'm stressed out, let alone making someone else laugh... but I LOVE it and appreciate it soooooooo much when other people are able to make me laugh and make light of "serious" situations... So I like to surround myself with those kind of quality people whenever possible...see number 1.)

9. Smile. Sometimes by moving those smiling muscles in your face... your attitude will take a clue and adjust itself. You can decide to have fun with the situation at any point...or be miserable...the choice is up to you.

10. Remember... It will all be over soon and you will be able to fall asleep on your pillow and wrap yourself in a blanket and dream of cotton candy and puppy-dogs again. That's something to look forward to.

11. You are doing a good job... the best you can. So be kind to yourself and take a deep breath. You are enough. You can get through it!!!

12. Shift your focus...Really... it's all about FOCUS. When you are focused on "not freaking-out"... you will only freak-yourself-out MORE... But when you focus on having FUN... then the "not freaking-out" will happen as a natural bi-product of having more fun in spite of the obstacles.

Easier said that done though...

And when you inevitably get caught-up in the stress-frenzy-high-pressureness of it all and totally "lose it" in front of everyone and make a total a$$ out of yourself... Well, you learn from that too... That you can survive FAILING BIG and that you can find some good "take-aways" from it (like 12 of them, to be exact)... and resolve to do better next time... because there will be a next time.

Sigh...

Gotta love pushing yourself to your limit... Otherwise... How will you know how far you can go?

Further and further.

Loves,
V

"We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them." - William Arthur Ward