137. Yale Drama Audition 2012: Part One (Walking Through The Door...Again)

How would you like to go to a school where the theatre looks like this?...

(Photo by Brendan Hughes)

Well, first you have to walk through this door to audition...

(Photo by Zoe Gorman)

You will be auditioning for a man who looks like this...

(Ron Van Lieu)

Or a man who looks like this...

(Walton Wilson)

For the third year in a row...I took the two hour train ride to New Haven and walked through that door to audition for the MFA Acting program at the Yale School of Drama. The first two times...I didn't even make the first cut.

Alllllll that preparation and...BAM!...It's all over in 5 minutes. But I chose not to see these rejections as a "NO"...but rather as a "NOT YET." Ya know what I mean?...

So I'm back...To put my name "in the hat" again and see if this will be my year. Three times is the charm, right? Will Yale be receptive to my work this year or will I get cut...yet again?...Read on to find out...

For some reason, writing about my experience at Yale this year has become more like a series of bullet points than a narrative structure. So, I’m going to trust that and go with it. Hope you’ll still able to follow the story… If not,…use your imagination to fill-in the blanks.

:-)

New Haven in the stillness of the winter morning. Cold, crisp air. No snow.

Hands warming around a small coffee from JoJo’s Coffee (around the corner).

Push open the the heavy red door. Noticed a thumb-tack on the floor. Picked it up. (Somebody might step on it! That'd really ruin your audition experience.)

Check-in with the desk. Give them my headshot and resume. Friendly grad students running the show, as always! Love them.

Called in with the rest of my group for the 10am pre-audition talk with Ron and Walton. Didn't bother to take off my coat this year. (It was freezing!) The "talk" seemed more rushed than the past two years. But maybe they're pressed for time? Still, it’s nice to be able to meet them before hand, see their faces. Definitely helps to calm the nerves. Walton will be seeing half the audition group upstairs and Ron will be seeing the other half downstairs.

Spending time in the downstairs audition room (where I will be auditioning for Ron) helped to relax me… gotta love all the cracks in the plaster, the light coming through the cloudy, rectangular panes of glass and all the quirkiness of this oddly-converted-castle-to-studio-space. (Much less intimidating than my first year when I auditioned in this room last, back then all the black curtains were drawn...Oooooo, dark and scary!)

Ron, however, is still an intimidating figure to me. He's so quiet and grounded. Even the way he dresses, with his light t-shirt, sport jacket and his clean-cut white hair... Then he looks at you with this sense of knowing…as if he can see right into your soul…it’s spooky! He's seriously a legend among acting teachers. His former students talk about him like he's Yoda or something.

Walton was wearing a plaid poncho and New Balance sneakers. So his intimidation factor was not-so-much. Love that!!! He just seemed homey and comfortable. All of us auditioning just seemed a little over-dressed for the occasion in comparison. The word-on-the-street about Walton, from those that've worked with him...He's one of the sweetest human beings alive.

Since I've been assigned to audition in Ron’s room this year. Courage is key here. Goal: talk to him. (My first year…I was too scared to talk to him. My second year I auditioned for Walton...which was less scary...that one went better. You can read about my first & second year Yale auditions by clicking HERE.)

Back in the waiting room. The air is thick with nervous energy. Bleh!!! Gotta shake it off…

Did my best to get into my own little "zone" and did some yoga and deep breathing in the waiting room. Probably looked like a fool, but I don’t care. If it's gonna helped me stay focused, I'll look like a fool, any day of the week. So people can think what they will…At least the floor was clean.

I went online on my phone and chose an actor affirmation from Jack Plotnick's website that I felt would be most helpful to me that morning. It was...

"I release and destroy my need to be an “Actor”. Let them be the “Actors”, and have all the responsibilities that come with it. I am just here to be myself and have fun."

Kept saying it over and over to myself...every time my brain would wander to some negative, insecure place. None of those thoughts are going to help me right now. So I'll choose to focus on my affirmation...because that thought actually makes me feel GOOD about myself...and when I feel good...I'm going to do waaaaay better work in the audition room.

My turn to audition. (The last one in my group.)

I always feel like I have to pee at this moment…right before I’m about to go in for an audition…always. But I don’t really need to…it’s just psychosomatic.

Walk into the room and actually start a CONVERSATION with Ron Van Lieu! Score! Nothing profound, just remarking on the room and the fireplace and how it’s like auditioning in a castle. Some of the tension was released. Helped me to remember that we’re both human beings. Nice thing to be reminded of in this strange situation we know as "auditioning." Hooray! Success!

Chose to do my scary monologue first: Shakespeare….Goes fine. Not spectacular. But Shakespeare’s NooooooTTTT my thing, so that’s to be expected.

Did not RUSH to transition into my second monologue. Grabbed a chair and brought it downstage center. REALLY took my time to shift the mood. Felt good. Success.

Went into my second monologue…Contemporary piece…Same one I did for Mark and Janet at NYU…Different one than I did at Juilliard. Why did I choose this one? Just feel like I'm more connected to it this morning than the other one. Gotta trust your instincts on these things. If you can't trust your instincts, what can you trust? GOAL is to surprise myself in the monologue. I will not make choices, rather I will allow choices to happen to me. Do NOT want to seem rehearsed. Ugh. Hate that.

Goes REALLY, SUPER AWESOME. I am surprised at myself in several moments. "Where the hell did THAT come from?"...Feeeeeels fantastic…Definitely the best (most fearless) audition I’ve ever given at Yale. No question.

Totally showed my heart. Didn’t pre-plan. Wasn’t just “reciting lines.” Really felt like I put those given circumstances in my stomach and then just let the monologue happen to me. Freedom!

Back to the waiting area…Which is as freezing as an ice box.

Waiting.

Waiting.

The LIST for the 10am hour is posted on the door. Everybody in the waiting room starts for the door...

TWO names on the page…out of a group of about 20 people or so…there were TWO names on the list. It's been this way every year. I've never seen more than three names. (They clearly know EXACTLY what they're looking for and aren't going to waste your time if they're not interested. But...man...only two names...that's HARSH.)

The second name...

Virginia Wilcox

HOLY F*#K! I JUST MADE IT THROUGH THE FIRST CUT AT YALE!!!

Look up in the sky, people!!! Pigs are flying through the air.

Brrrrrrr!!! Hell is freezing over.

Seriously. I am in total shock. I have never made it to a "preliminary call-back" before. This RULES!

Why did I make it this year, as opposed to other years? Don’t know. Better monologue selection probably.

Maybe my previous "NOT YET" is about to turn into a "YES...NOW!"

Oh, hopes...don't get up toooo high. It ain't over yet...In fact, it hasn't really even begun...

I can hardly believe it. I am overcome. I hug the audition monitor, Sheria, and tell her how thrilled I am at the opportunity to do my pieces again...and that this is my third try at this...SOOOO EXCITED.

No time to think, I've only got a minute to catch my breath as I’m waiting outside the door to go back into the audition room and do my pieces for both Ron and Walton.

Damn, feels like I have to pee again...

:-p

Will my "preliminary callback" be a total disaster? Will I make the next cut and be invited to the "end-of-day" callbacks? Is Yale finally going to see me as a valuable candidate for admission in Fall of 2012? Or will I be taking the walk-of-shame back to the New Haven train station yet again?

Check back tomorrow and see what happens next...in PART TWO.

Loves,
Virginia

128. Juilliard Drama Audition 2012: Part One

(I wrote most of this post from the waiting room at Juilliard on the day of my audition. Yes, I brought my computer to the audition. I wanted to have it available to me…in case I got the opportunity to write…which I did! Hoooray!)

Here I am...writing. Writing is much more calming than sitting and sweating and looking around at everyone else...who are also sitting and sweating.

Although, I must confess I sweat alll the time anyway...I have this medical condition (no joke) called Hyperhydrosis. So basically, my armpits are producing moisture all the time…and especially when I get excited...then I’m majorly sweaty. It has nothing to do with regulating my body temperature. I am just allllllways sweating. Hot, right? So anyway, today is no different. I am just wearing a shirt that doesn’t show the sweat marks so much.

I woke up this morning at 6am. I took my time getting ready. I don’t like to rush. In fact, I LOATHE rushing. I ate breakfast at home (scrambled eggs and black beans...the breakfast of champions) and then stopped by Brooklyn Bagel on 30th Ave for a small Hazelnut coffee with cream and sugar. What a treat!

I took the N from 30th Ave to 42nd Street…Transferred to the Uptown 1 to 66th Street. When I stepped into the Uptown 1 subway car, I started to scan the car to see if I might be able to spot fellow Juilliard auditioners in the group. There were two suspiciously “actory” looking persons in the car. A gorgeous young lady with her hair pinned back in a 1940’s style and big clear blue eyes as well as a lanky elvish looking young man in a puffy green jacket. And, sure enough, I saw both them in the warm-up room later! Score!!!

After arriving at the beautiful glass palace that is The Juilliard School and checking-in, I was escorted into the waiting room marked “M thru Z.” I am “Wilcox,” so that makes sense.

The room has huge vaulted ceilings and bright white walls. The sun was shining through the windows and you could see the balconies of the adjacent high-rise apartment buildings with plants in planter boxes and the occasional lawn chair.

I ran into a lovely gentleman (I will call him Simon), who I seem to run into every time I visit Juilliard (and Yale too, for that matter). He reminds me a bit of a young Morgan Freeman. He’s auditioning for grad schools this year also (obviously)…and it’s been fun to keep running into him. I gave him a hug and we wished each other broken legs this morning. Maybe we’ll get to be in class together some day…or do a show together some time in the future. At any rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t the last time we ran into each other.

The morning warm-up with Richard Feldman and Kate Wilson was sooooooo helpful and awesome. We all sat on the floor...all 155 of us... in this ginormous orchestra room and listened intently as Richard reminded us to have a broader perspective about this day…That today is just a step along our journeys as actors. I wish I could have recorded his speech. It was really inspiring. And as I looked around the room and into all of these faces…so amazingly talented and dedicated and YOUNG, so full of hope and promise and energy... I thought, “Wow! What a gift to be standing in the midst of the future of the American Theatre! How freakin’ awesome is that!!!!???” Richard made us all laugh, made us feel welcomed, appreciated and understood as he shared with us his personal insights and perspective. After he was finished speaking you could feel the room pulsing with joy and excitement.

Then it was Kate’s turn with us. She told us all to stand up as she walked to the center of the room. We did a vocal and light physical warm-up. Nothing fancy or fantastic...all the nice familiar things that we’ve all done in many a voice and speech class before. It was a wonderful feeling. We were all breathing together, with a sense of camaraderie.

The warm-up dispelled both the physical and psychological tension. When we had completed the warm-up we all applauded Kate and thanked her as we began to file out of the room... As our applause died down...funniest thing happened...we heard cheering and applauding coming from the hallway behind the double-doors. I thought to myself, “What the heck is going on in the hallway? Did Kevin Spacey just show-up for a visit or something?” As I passed through the doorway, I sawall of the current Juilliard students lining the hallways and I realized that they were all applauding and cheering for US as we made our way back to the waiting room. I could not help cracking-up! I was grinning ear to ear. What a surreal experience! It was incredibly kind of them to show that kind of support and generosity to all of us “Juilliard hopefuls.”

And it was just so silly...Anything to distract us from being nervous...So brilliant! I loved it.

Sat in the waiting room for a few minutes. Met an elegant young woman who was sitting near me. (I will call her Rebecca.) We chatted a bit and then I headed up to the 4th floor warm-up rooms.

Having space to warm-up is suuuuuuuuch a gift. I did some yoga stretches, spoke some of the lines from my Shakespeare monologue really, really, really fast, as a sort-of tongue-twister...took some time just to breathe. But I was waaaaay too excited to really spend too much more time on any of these things. I did NOT practice any of my monologues. I wanted them to be nice and fresh...like I’d never spoken them before...and if I forgot one of my lines...so be it...better that, than to sound like I was doing a recitation.

Spontaneous. Surprising. THAT’s the goal.

So I headed out of the warm-up room and back down to the “M thru Z” waiting room on the third floor. I was there for several minutes and then my name was called and I was escorted to the hallway outside of the studio where I would be auditioning.

“Who is in the room?” I asked the monitor, a first-year grad student.

Her answer made me raise my hands up to the sky and praise the Heavens! Dude!!! I don’t know how I could have possibly been so lucky, but I was assigned the BEST audition room possible. I cannot even BELIEVE my good fortune. Seriously. Thank you, Universe. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

In the room was...Richard Feldman (swoon), Darryl Quinton (swoon), and Rene Houtrides (double-swoon).

The hallway was dim, but as I walked into the room and it was like walking through the gates of heaven…The light was streaming through the windows filling the entire studio with this glowing light. It warmed my heart and made me soooooo happy.

I chose to do my scariest piece first…THE SHAKESPEARE!!! Ahhhhhhhh! If I could get through that one…then…I could get through anything.

I figured…if I’m going to go down…I’d like to go down in FLAMES…so, best to tackle the scariest piece first.

Then I did my contemporary piece.

Richard didn’t quite know that I was done with my contemporary piece…so he started talking to me before I was actually finished, but I just stayed with it, until I was finished…then happily gave him my attention.

He asked me to do the piece again…only this time he gave me a character adjustment.

As I was contemplating how I was going to incorporate his note, I realized that I could not for the life of me remember the first line of the monologue (I was not focusing well...and my brain was not connecting), but Rene REMEMBERED MY FIRST LINE and fed it to me! How AWESOME is that!? Ha!

Teamwork! Amazing.

She was really listening!...Or maybe she was familiar with the piece, either way…I was VERY IMPRESSED and grateful for her generous kindness in my time of need.

Soooo … I started the monologue again…incorporating the adjustment…then Richard stopped me about three lines in and clarified his instruction…He wanted me to MOVE around the space and pretend that I was cleaning up after a long day of work…and say the monologue too.

Ohhhhhhhh! I seeeee.

So that’s what I did. It was tough to concentrate on the secondary activity. I kept feeling like I was about to forget my lines, but I just kept moving and trying to picture the layout of this imaginary restaurant I was in and the words kept coming out and I was doing weird things with it that I didn’t expect and saying it differently than I’ve ever said it before. But it felt good…freeing in a way…to be able to let go of any preconceptions I had about the piece and just play in these new given circumstances he had given me. Actually, it reminded me a lot of my on-camera class at The Barrow Group. I KNEW I took that class for a reason!

And I realize now that all that monologue practice commitment device that I gave myself earlier this month (to do at least one of my monologues every day for a different person)...no matter where I was…or who I was with…that practicing my monologue in these different/strange/unconventional situations really helped to prepare me to be flexible enough to just “go with it” and just pantomime away…focusing on cleaning my imaginary restaurant and basically just throwing the words away. It was really fun!!!

I got about half-way through the monologue before Richard stopped me.

Then…he asked me if I’d like to sing. I said I’d LOVE to sing. So I sang “Make Someone Happy” again, just like I did at my NYU audition and I tried to breathe…sometimes succeeding and sometimes not.

Then Rene asked me to sing again…only this time with an adjustment…this time I was all alone, singing to myself, totally sloppy drunk, sitting in a chair that was facing sideways and drinking bourbon. I asked if it was okay, if it was gin instead. She said that’d be fine.

So I started to sing to myself and Rene was sort-of side coaching me through it and telling me to take a drink as I continued to sing… and it was sooooo fun...I was improvising. I slouched in my chair and sang to the ceiling and then went to find my glass of gin (imaginary of course) which was underneath my chair…then when I got to the line about “someone to love is the answer”…it was toooo emotionally overwhelming…I took a sip of my “gin” and tried to continue to sing, but it was more like croaking and out-of-breath speaking, as I realized that I was all alone and drinking and singing about having someone to love…which I DON’T have…and it was terribly, terribly sad all of the sudden and the tears started to form in my eyes and I completely lost my voice. And then Rene stopped me.

I gathered my composure quickly and stood up from the chair. Richard, Darryl and Rene all said “Thank you.” And placed the chair back on the side of the acting space and thanked them and made my exit.

It was an exhilarating audition experience!

They treat actors with the utmost respect here and honor us for the courage that it takes to even BE HERE auditioning at JUILLIARD. I’m getting a little choked up just writing this…That may sound silly…but there is sooooooooooo much disrespect toward actors in the “business” and it’s incredibly refreshing to be here, in a place where people really, honestly honor the contribution that actors give and how much courage it takes to be vulnerable in front of others and show your honest, true heart…even in the face of possible rejection.

Then I stood in the hallway for a moment...trying to get my heart to stop pounding out of my chest...and concentrating on not throwing up from excitement...and then the monitor caught my eye and said that I was free to relax in the waiting room until “the call-back list” gets posted.

I had about 3 hours to wait...while everyone else was auditioning in the many audition rooms...So I went back to the waiting room to collect my breath and record my thoughts for you.

Tomorrow I will tell you all about....THE LIST....

Stay tuned.

Loves,

V

63. A Non-Linear Path To Doritos

"Many of you have the illusion of being separate, alone, disconnected and unsupported and yet you are not. If you begin to focus on how everything is connected then you will begin to experience a greater sense of support, belonging and harmony. You will begin to streamline your intentions and trust the universe to deliver. Your life will become richer and you will feel more active and participatory rather than passive and victimized." - Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Ever look back on your life and realize that things hardly ever happen in the way you might think?

One thing leads to another... leads to another... leads to another... It's damn-near impossible to predict!

Today, I shall share with you one such example from my own life...

How I got to be in a Doritos Commercial that was entered into this year's Crash The Superbowl contest and will hopefully be aired during said Superbowl and win the grand prize of a MILLION dollars, but if not... is still a really coooool gig and a project I am really glad to be a part of and is only the beginning of a great creative relationship!!!

Here's how it happened step-by-step:

Four years ago I found out that the School of Visual Arts in NY was having an actor/film-maker mixer.

I attended said "mixer" and gave my headshot and resume to the casting director who put me into the database.

In seemingly unrelated news... My friend Christine dragged me to Yoga To The People one evening after work and I was HOOKED. I started doing yoga once or twice a week... and still do.

I would occasionally get emails from the casting director at SVA inviting me to come and participate as an actor in some of the student's film directing classes.

For years I never could make it to any of the dates she invited me to, but I kept resubmitting an updated headshot and resume with the casting director every year and kept in contact with her through email.

One day this summer she sent me an email inviting me again. This time I could make it work in my schedule and I agreed to do it.

I showed up at SVA and met student director Anna Alaimo. I was an actor in her comedic student short about a Nutellaholics Anonymous group. Fun!

I gave Anna my contact info and she promised to send me a link to the final cut of Nutellaholics Anonymous on YouTube.

In seemingly unrelated news... I began blogging on Sept. 5th.

Later in Sept., she sent me the link to the student short as promised. I sent her a "thank you" reply with a link to my BLOG attached.

She responded back with how much she loved the Don't Let The Perfect Be The Enemy Of The Good post and she said she felt like we were going through very similar spiritual journeys. She suggested we have lunch.

I gladly accepted.

We met up in midtown, had lunch at Dishes and hit it off like peanut butter and peanut butter.

She asked me if I ever do yoga and if I was free on Sunday.

I said... yes and yes.

In seemingly unrelated news... I work M-F, 9-5 and am often free on Sundays. :-p

She said that she was going to be shooting a Doritos Commercial for a contest and would I like to be in it?

Um... YES!!!!

Sunday came. I subway'd it over to the location in Manhattan. I brought my yoga mat. We shot the commercial.

Yesterday... she sent me a link to the final cut of said commercial.

Today... I am blogging about it.

Here's the "Ohm" DORITOS COMMERCIAL... Directed by Anna Alaimo.

So that's my non-linear path to Doritos.

Annnnnd we're shooting another scene on Thursday (unrelated to Doritos.. or Nutella) ... and Anna's working on a feature length script too!!! Soooo many fun things to look forward to!

But the best part of it all... is getting to have Anna in my life. She is first and foremost a great person and secondarily I LOVE working with her. I feel like we were sort-of meant to meet... Thank you, SVA! Thank you, Blogger.com! Thank you, Universe!

And THAT's how things happen in show business... or in business-business... or in life.


Ya never know!


Loves,
V

"The "right" circumstances, people, and opportunities are just like "good" ideas - they come to you fastest, once you relax." - Mike Dooley, Tut's Universe