Wednesday, September 28, 2011

21. You Be The Judge… Or Not?

“Judgement kills creativity. Judgment kills the artist. For when we judge, we are doing more damage to ourselves than the person we are judging.” – Peter Pamela Rose, Actor’s Spiritual Toolbox

Don’t judge… Notice.

“Cut people slack… Their actions might not reveal their enduring character but instead reflect some situation they find themselves in. Forbearance is a form of generosity.” – Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

When I judge, I find myself closed-off to the learning that’s there to be gained from a critical thought. So now I make an effort to notice rather than judge. When I notice something, I’m not immediately placing a value on it… good/bad… right/wrong. I try to let go of my ego and take it in and allow the information to permeate my brain, if it’s useful… I keep it… if it’s not useful… I forget it.

“The beginner scorns criticism. The wise soul carefully weighs it. And the Master says, “But, of course!” – Mike Dooley, Tut’s Universe

There’s something valuable to be learned from every experience and every situation,... good, bad, ugly, sexy, annoying, painful, awesome, amazing, etc.

“I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration form the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.” – Khalil Gibran, mystic, poet & artist (1883-1931)

But when fail to NOTICE and start to JUDGE myself or others it triggers a defense mechanism inside me, this fear of being judged myself… which closes me off to my source, my heart, my creativity. And accessing those things with a child-like spirit of play is the greatest joy in my life. So allowing judgment to kill that? Nope. F-that. I’d rather kill the judgment… or let it go… if a less violent way is preferred.

“If something is not working let it go. If something wants to work really well, let it into your life.” – Lena Stevens, The Power Path

Essentially, I don’t like the feeling of being judged, so I don’t like to inflict that kind of negativity on others. I don’t blindly close my eyes though, I do notice things, but my urge to JUDGE generally comes from my own fear of inadequacy or my ego’s defensive need to try to make myself feel superior and safe… None of which have any lasting value in the creative process.

So judgment? Bye-bye! Noticing… Hello!

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” – Dorothy Nevill

Some people think that being super judgmental makes them seem smarter. And maybe they do seem smarter… to other judgmental people. But do I want to create a new work of art with Mr. Judgy McJudgerson? Nope. That sounds like no fun at all… and I’d rather be creative than seem “smart.”

“Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.” – John Steinbeck, novelist, Nobel laureate (1902-1968)

Besides it’s easy to destroy something, to tear it to shreds and point out all the flaws. But seeing the potential in things requires vision, creativity, specificity... and, dare I say, bravery... especially when your speaking-up in a crowd of fear-addicted McJudgersons, bless them.

“Giving positive reviews requires humility… A willingness to be pleased requires modesty and even innocence.” – Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

So next time you feel the urge to judge… notice yourself judging… and choose for yourself.

To judge or not to judge? That is the question.

Imperfectly,
Virginia

“Ah, good taste, what a dreadful thing! Taste is the enemy of creativeness.” – Pablo Picasso

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